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Factors for Considering a Couple's Renewal of Vows

2009-02-20T23:10:00.001+07:00

The renewal of vows is a ceremony where a couple relives their commitment and vows to reaffirm their love and devotion to one another. Here are some factors that a couple may consider when they renew their vows:

1. The couple can set a date that will coincide with the date they celebrated their original wedding. Many couples prefer to renew their vows on the exact date of the 10th, 20th, 25th, or 50th anniversary of their wedding. These are significant dates that they cherish, despite the trials in life as married couples.

2. Make the renewal of vows an appropriate celebration that fits your social circle. Decide if the event should be formal or casual and inform the invited guests. The couple must remember that the vows should be acceptable and enjoyable. It should be a celebration that will be cherished for the years to come.

3. When renewing the vows after the first year or marriage, the couple should consider the guests to be invited. The renewal ceremony will should not be as large as the original wedding. The couple should invite only close relatives and friends.

4. The couple should give extra thought to their statements when they renew their vows. Meaningful but simple reaffirmation of their love would be appropriate for the celebration. Although it is not important for others, it will still symbolize their commitment to one another to live together their entire lifetime.

5. The couple may include the clergy if they desire. The renewal of vows does not necessarily need a clergy present. Some couples write their own renewal vows. A couple reaffirms their love for one another personally and simultaneously in front of their guests even without clergy or a priest. The most important thing is that the couple recognize that their renewal of vows be sentimental to themselves and their guests.

The renewal of vows may be important and significant to many couples who wish to celebrate their marriage with their families and friends. This celebration is very significant to many couples because they would once again affirm their commitment be unified with love.

Staying Happily Married

2007-12-17T11:36:00.000+07:00

In recent years, the demand for marriage and family therapists, also known as MFTs, has dramatically increased. A Marriage and family therapist (MFT) is a mental health professional, highly trained in the area of bringing a perspective that is family-oriented to health care. Basically, what MFTs do is evaluate as well as treat emotional and mental disorders, including but not limited to behavioral and health issues. Relationship issues are also within an MFT's area of specialty.

MFTs play a crucial role in keeping marriages and families intact. But looking at it in another perspective, MFTs are more support groups rather than problem solvers that can cure marriages and restore family relationships.

Being happily married and staying happily married is not such a hard jigsaw puzzle to put together. It just needs tender loving care and some extra gestures of concern to always keep the fire within the marriage ablaze. Both spouses must always exert extra effort to keep the marriage fresh and interactive. Couples may start the journey to a strong and satisfying married life by avoiding the common pitfalls that haunt marital relationships.

Disagreements and arguments will happen. It is normal in any relationship. Two individuals, no matter how similar or compatible, will at some point clash and get into an argument - be it petty or something more serious. Leaving the issue unresolved or the concerned addressed allows the issues pile up over time and subsequently result in graver situations that are more difficult to resolve or address later on. This scenario is avoidable had the couples been open to the idea that they can get through any problems if they knew the marriage pitfalls and troubles that they should have looked out for.

Couples, either newly married or that have been married to each other for a long time, should understand that they need to communicate. It may sound surprising but recent studies show that communication issues actually top the list of the most important things that couples hope they had focused on before jumping into marriage.

Talk. It is unsafe to assume that a partner knows the others thoughts and needs and vice versa. Ask, and do not assume. Then pay close attention and listen to what is being said. Do not just hear. Acknowledge that what has been said is clearly understood.

Take some time to send your partner a heartfelt thank you. Write a card or send flowers out of the blue to let your partner know that you appreciate him or her. An unexpected phone call would also be a nice gesture. If you're on the receiving end, reciprocate the initiative with the same sincere appreciation. It feels good to know that what you have done is acknowledged. Also, ‘making your partners day’ will give you the same euphoric feeling.

As earlier mentioned, arguing with your spouse is inevitable. But also consider that there is such a thing that is called "fighting fair." Couples can and will fight over anything and everything. So, when a disagreement comes up, just tackle the issue at hand. No matter the disagreement, try to resist bringing up previous issues that may push your partner over the edge. Instead, keep it cool. Take a break, and revisit the discussion when you have a clearer idea of what you really want to say, and then listen to what your spouse has to say... This is the most logical and correct thing to do, do not you think? Fighting fire with fire will just leave both of you tired, wasted, and burnt out.

Why not try to catch your spouse doing something right? It wouldn't hurt so overlook the little foibles of your partner. Why not try to focus on the good and pleasant things that your spouse says or does for you as well as for the family. People will sometimes disappoint us. But then again, it would be unfair not to consider that they will also at one point bring something worthy of being acknowledgement. A little appreciation of each other, and what each other does, will help to improve any relationship especially a marriage. And wouldn't it feel nice to know that your spouse exerts extra effort to put together something good for you without you really knowing?

So, for married couples, when you stumble into these pitfalls, you now know more or less how to handle it. Just keep it up. Hold on. Continue loving, caring, and understanding each other, and watch your marriage improve beyond your imagination.

The Easy Way To Resolve Arguments

2007-12-10T15:09:00.000+07:00

How to resolve arguments the easy way

In a world that is populated with millions and millions of people, a person is bound to run into some arguments with the individuals that they will encounter in their everyday lives.

People are a part of our social environment. As early as kindergarten children learn to adapt to their social surroundings. But every now and then some children who can not find a way to resolve arguments with each other end up in a fight.

But as children get older they learn that there are ways to resolve arguments without getting into a fist fight! Something that grownups should have learned by now!

Learn to compromise

One of the things that a person needs to realize is that he or she can not get his way all of the time! As a matter of fact, most arguments stem from this way of thinking. When individuals continuously impose their way of thinking, and course of action on others a fight is inevitable.

People need to respect each other's differences. Whether it be religion, social status, nationality, etcetera. No two persons are exactly alike. So it is only natural that they have some differences.

Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. Imagine what a dreary world it would be if everyone thought and acted in the exact same manner! This is a premise usually reserved for science fiction novels that end with the unlikely hero deactivating the mind control machine designed by the bad guys.

Different ways of thinking result in a number of different ideas that help humanity progress. In fact, it is from this diversity that we add to the many shades and colors of life.

Keep the volume down

Do not engage in a shouting match. This does not solve anything. It only results in a couple of sore throats! Individuals should learn to settle their arguments by discussing them in a peaceful manner. Being harsh and confrontational only inspires the other person to unleash his or her venom. So it is best to always be calm. It also helps to keep one's voice down when negotiating for a treaty.

Keep the boxing gloves off

Individuals should not try to win arguments, instead, they should work hard at finding a compromise. This work wonders! It will eliminate the bad blood brewing between two individuals involved in an argument.

Arguing with people is never fun. But sometimes it can not be helped, despite our best efforts to get along sometimes arguments are inevitable.

But arguments do not have to get ugly as long as people do their best to find the amiable solutions, and respect each other's differences.

Marriage and Insecurities

2007-11-30T16:19:00.000+07:00

: A Matter of building Confidence

Love is the primary reason why a man and a woman decide to get married. Before their marriage, life seems like a dream because of love. And after marriage, it is love that will give them the strength to hold on to each other so that those dreams will become a reality.

However, some couples tend to lose the love that they once shared just because of some deceitful qualities that they have acquired, one of which is insecurity.

Insecurity is one of the most devastating tools that will destroy a happy marriage. Once a person feels he or she is not “good enough” to handle the responsibilities in marriage, the assurance that marriage will last will only fail.

Most people suffer from insecurity at some time, but it is never healthy in any relationship, especially in marriage.

There may be many reasons why a person has insecurities. However, it should be resolved even before they decide to marry. This is because people with very low self-esteem can never make their marriages work out.

In fact, recent studies show that because of insecurity and the fear of not being able to cope with the responsibilities of a married life, the numbers of couples who do not get married are increasing at a constant rate. They reason that it would be easier to leave when they think that they aren't capable of making the relationship work than if they were married and had to get a divorce.

The many kinds of anxiety that affect people in marriage can feed such insecurity. The only antidote is for the spouse to build confidence by giving recognition to their partner.

Some people are excellent at burying their insecurities, but this should not be the case in marriage. Everybody needs some appraisal and appreciation for everything that they do in the relationship. They need to hear that they are loved without any conditions.

Lack of confidence holds some people back from seeking out the ways to make their marriage work. It is important for every spouse to make their partners believe in their own abilities by praising them more often and by giving them the love and affection that they deserve.

Once insecurities are eased, marriage will definitely last. Keep in mind that insecurity may not be absolutely eliminated but by praise, reassurance, and open communication, the marriage will be successful.

Sharing Your Dreams

2007-11-20T13:11:00.000+07:00

Sharing Your Dreams and Goals As Married Couples Makes A Lot Of Difference

Marriage is always in progression. The two individuals in the marital relationship journey in stages and grow continuously.

This marital growth entails a lot of commitment, trust, effort and reciprocity. Healthy and well built marriages are not by chance, but are worked upon.

The basic element of “being one” in marriage is companionship. Like friends, couples are open with each other’s interests, dreams and goals.

A married couple often will find it difficult to deal with certain problems when there is no common goal that is established. Goals enable the couple to realize that both are not competing, instead, working together and needing one another’s help.

Married couples should cooperate and work for these dreams and goals with all dedication and devotion.
Should both you and your spouse’s goals appear to be much different, as they sometimes do, never give up. Talk and recognize both your needs that each goal can satisfy. You can discover during the process that you both have similar dreams and goals; it was just the direction that was different. And this can be dealt with as you talk.

The significant thing here is to share similar priorities as well as personal values in life together with your spouse, that when you take the time to communicate with each other regarding your needs and motivations, you'll be surprised to learn that you both have identical dreams and goals.

Goals can center on your children, the family as a whole, your individual careers, your possessions and your pastimes.

The following are guidelines to better understand and relate with your partner's goals:

1. Know your spouse. Pay close attention to his or her habits and values.

2. Bond and respond. Whatever that goes on within your spouse’s life, in his/her career, you know that there are dreams and goals in each aspect. So be sensitive and take part; worry and celebrate in his accomplishments.

3. Let your spouse influence you. Be willing to share in his/her decisions. Understand his/her goals and when you do not agree at some point, at least support him or her..

4. Compromise. When your goals do not exactly match, know when to put the brakes if you feel that the conversation is becoming confrontational. Be calm and tolerant.

When you both have warm appreciation and understanding of all your dreams and goals you become closer together as a married couple, it makes married life a lot more pleasant and easier to manage. After all, you're partners in life.

Quality Time for Each Other

2007-11-08T16:26:00.000+07:00

When the couple is planning to have children or already have some, both must not forget to spend quality time with each other alone. If both are working, being together shouldn't just happen when the couple comes home from work. It means that they should think of other ways to spice up the marriage.

Here are some good ideas to carry this out:

1. Even when both people are married, some things don't have to change. The individuals can still go out on dates, such as watching a movie and having dinner in a restaurant like two people who just started dating.

2. There are many classes and sports to choose from and trying something new with your partner can be a learning and memorable experience.

3. The couple can also plan weeks or perhaps months in advance to go out of town or even out of the country and spend the time away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

4. Some people believe that a match made in heaven means that both will like everything that the other person does. This is not always the case which makes some say that opposites attract. Instead of being annoyed by something that the other enjoys, the individual should keep an open mind about it and participate in the activity or sit there with the other person while they enjoy that activity.

5. Sex is something awkward to talk about but marriage counselors insist that a good marriage should also have this in the equation. Both genders long for sex at different ages and researchers have determined that men want sex often in their 20’s and 30’s while women want more sex in their 30’s and 40’s. To make it work, the couple must agree when is the right time to enjoy doing it. Spontaneous sex is often the most enjoyable.

Sex therapists have published various books on sex such as the different positions and role playing games that couple can play with each other. Research and exploration may be a great way of to assure a good time with your spouse.

Time is a luxury that people don't have. There are things that are beyond the control of people that are unforeseen which happen in the blink of an eye. The best thing to do is spend quality time no matter how short or long making the spouse feel loved and special at all times.

The Key to a Solid Marriage: Never go to bed angry!

2007-10-16T11:40:00.000+07:00

“The Key to a Solid Marriage”

“Never go to bed angry” is a cliché that we always hear. This has proven to be very sound advice, and is a motto that many couples live by.

Marriage is the ultimate consummation for two people who are in love. Your wedding is not the “happy ending” to your love story, instead, it is just the beginning of your life together.

For a married couple who is just starting out, petty fights and arguments can not be avoided. The first few years of your marriage will be the test if to determine if you can actually “live” with each other’s bad or annoying habits. The strength of your love for each other will serve as the “building block” of the rest of your years together.

During petty fights, it is good to remember that having an argument is natural. You and your spouse are two different people and you can expect your individual personalities to clash.

Here are some ways you and your spouse, as a married couple, can strengthen your bond and improve your marriage:

1. Fight if you need to.

This is when the rule mentioned above will apply. As a couple, you will have arguments, disagreements, and conflicts of interest. Even a minor thing like household chores can lead to disagreements.

The key to a ‘healthy’ argument is to get everything out in the open.

Take a look at this example. During a quarrel the husband may be given the ‘cold’ shoulder by his wife. The wife thinks that her spouse is not being sensitive enough when it comes to her needs. He is caught totally unaware, but when he tries to confront the issue head-on his wife gives him the ‘silent treatment’. Eventually, their marriage will crumble because the anger on both sides is not dissipated. The wife was not able to let off ‘steam’ because she kept everything bottled up inside.

In this case, it is better if you bluntly confront the problem. Argue and fight if you need to.

At first, the two of you will be angry enough to confront each other. After you get everything out in the open, sound reasoning will rule and calmness will follow.

After the storm, the two of you should be reasonable enough to listen to each other then come up with a solution and make up. Do not worries, this may not always be the case. Your love for each other and the foundation that the two of you have established since you were married should help patch things up.

Just remember to avoid keeping your feelings all bottled up inside. If you do this, past hurts will return and might eventually cause a huge argument that will be even harder to resolve.

2. Do not be afraid to admit if you are wrong.

Pride in marriage has a very expensive price to pay. Do not put this pride between you and your spouse. If you are in the wrong, do not be afraid to admit it, then apologize.

Remember that you are together in spite of your individual differences. Go back to what brought you together in the first place and you can never go wrong.

3. Wipe the slate clean once you make up.

After the fight, make sure that you both know what started the argument
In the first place.

You and your spouse might have entirely different reasons for being angry.
Listen to each other and determine what caused the other to hurl accusations or hurtful words. If you are a husband exerting your ‘authority’ over your wife, she should know the way that you feel.

If your spouse was hurt by something that you did not actually mean to do. Try to explain that you would never intentionally do anything to cause her to be hurt or angry. This leads to the basis and foundation of your marriage which is mutual love and respect, and you could eventually patch things up.

By practicing these things and making it a habit to settle your fights before going to bed, you will have a solid and stable marriage that is based on trust and love.

Resolving Marital conflicts Immediately

2007-10-03T14:37:00.000+07:00

Recognizing marital conflicts and solving them immediately

Annie and Glenn were considered the perfect couple of the year when they were married in a small but picturesque chapel in Santa Monica two years ago. Annie was a 24 year old career girl while Glenn was on his way to becoming a successful lawyer.

That was then when they were still carefree individuals who got involved in their relationship for a little fun and companionship. Marriage has made a very big difference in their lives. It seems to have ruined what they call magic.

Both have attained their career goals. Annie now writes her own column in a business magazine while Glenn has been recruited by a top notch law firm. Their careers are going great; their marriage however is another story.

Both are so busy with their own lives that they seem to have started growing apart. Most of their hours are spent at work, and on the rare occasions they see each other, they spend much of it in a shouting match.

Annie and Glenn's dilemma is not uncommon to many married couple; in fact it is the rule rather than the exception. Married couples sometimes ask themselves why they are capable of doing things that could hurt the other spouse, despite the fact that they love each other so much.

It is true when they say it is the person you love the most that can hurt you the most. This is true for most married couple who have not yet found a way to settle their differences and live with their then.

Arguments are part and parcel of being married but it is up to the couple to find ways to lessen the frequency and the intensity of the argument. Sometimes, couples think having the same argument over and over again is a normal thing in marriage. Of course, it is a normal thing but it should not be a so.

Common sources of conflict among married couples

It's hard to live with another person because each one has his own personality and each person was brought up by their families differently. Conflicts arise when two personalities and two ways of life merge - each one wanting to be dominant.

The main reason married couples have arguments is because they are two different people forced to live physically together, regardless of their quirks and personality. Unless you are a boring creature who does not want surprises, then you would find it fun to live with a person who is just like you and so predictable that you do not even speak to each other because one is aware of what other is thinking. Others believe differently, believing that when two people are so alike there is no need for the other,

But there are specific issues that are pointed to as the common source of conflict and argument among married couples.

1. Jealousy - A jealous lover adds sizzle to romance but when jealousy goes overboard it can make your married life miserable. A little jealousy will help make the relationship exciting but too much of it will alienate one spouse from the jealous spouse. People who have jealous spouses tend to curtail their emotional and intellectual development.

2. Sex - The lack or excess of sexual activity is also a source of conflict for married couples. Couples who have the same sexual preferences are lucky. For most couples incompatibility of their sexual desires is often the underlying reason for conflicts that are manifested in other ways.

3. Money - Who doesn't need money? Of course everyone does, and the lack of excess of financial means will always serve as a launching pad for conflict. A couple who doesn't have enough money will have conflicts with budgeting and managing their finances. On the other hand, a couple who have plenty of resources will still quarrel over how the money is being spent..

4. In-laws - There are couples who incessantly quarrel just because of domineering in-laws who are interfering with the marriage. A couple may be living away from the in-laws but there are ways in-laws manage to ruin the marriage. It is really up to the spouses to inform their own families about the limitation that are to be observed to keep the marriage healthy and far from in-laws interference.

5. Responsibility - Who is in charge of cleaning the house? Who is in charge of paying for the monthly bills or the groceries? These are little things that boil down to the delegation of responsibilities between the spouses. It will be good if spouses can talk about who should be responsible for all the things necessary to keep the marriage on an even keel..

There are other sources of conflict, most of them originating from the basic sources of conflict. Couples should be aware of the things that cause conflict between them so they can find a common solution to those conflicts. Being aware of conflicts and confronting them the as soon as possible will help the marriage and will avoid recurrence of such conflicts later on.

Loyalty

2007-09-21T13:50:00.000+07:00

Loyalty: The Much-Needed Tool to a Lasting Marriage

Contrary to most popular belief, marriage is never a happily-ever-after kind of relationship. The relationship of a married couple is not always dazzling like the stars in the sky. The married couple has its own difficulties, misunderstandings and annoyances, money problems, etc.

Love in marriage is more than just romance. This is what some married couples realize from the onset of their relationship. Some couples said that they find it easier to fall in love than to maintain the heat of passion after getting married.

Romance can never satisfy all of the needs of a married life. In fact, love is not even enough. The marriage vow that the couple bestowed on each other is a lifetime pledge of one’s self that is more than the conditions of mere infatuation and passion.

This is the main problem and why many married couples end up getting a divorce. Some reports show that for the past 20 years, the percentage of people who marry more than three times in their lifetime has already increased to 8% from the 40% of the total population in the US alone.

Each year, the rate keeps increasing. In fact, almost half of those who get married each year end up in divorce.

So what is the most important thing in marriage that people must learn in order to maintain the kind of commitment and love that the couple vowed to fulfill for the rest of their lives?
Actually, there are many ways to have a lasting marriage. However, there is only one virtue that people must learn — LOYALTY.

In marriage, loyalty to your partner is extremely important. Whenever there are instances where the wife or the husband has a secret that they do not want their spouse to know about it, that problem will start to tear down their relationship.

The loyalty of married couple to each other will cause them to protect each other and not to betray. For the husband, his indispensable priority should be the happiness, fulfillment, and pleasure of his wife. This should be his main concern rather than the concerns of other people.

For the wife, the health, goodness, and the needs of her husband should be her priority more than her obligations to her parents, friends or even to her work.

The point here is that loyalty in marriage should be the top priority. In order to have a lasting marriage, couples should both work their way towards their goal. This can only be achieved if they'll maintain the loyalty and the love that they've for each other.

Say Sorry For Your Marriage

2007-09-11T17:16:00.000+07:00

Knowing when to say you are sorry

Katrina and Jason are seated on the same side of the sofa but their body language revealed what a marriage counselor can easily detect among married couples who have chosen to live the MAR in marriage.

The couple is seeing a marriage counselor for the fist time since they were married. They've been having trouble lately over trivial matters that seem to spark their hostility towards each other.

She said when Jason has a bad day at the office his bad mood continues after work. He arrives home poker-faced, and oblivious to Katrina's words of welcome. Such behavior has been going on for quite sometime now, she said, but there seems to be no effort on his part to apologize for taking his office problems home and taking them out on his wife.

Many married couples today find it hard to maintain a workable marriage, much less a happy one. It may be the pressure of making the family finances better, or the mundane task of maintaining the household. Whatever it is, it is clear that married couples do not treat each other the way they did before they got married.

During the dating stage, the sweetest moment for a couple is the reconciliation stage after a disagreement because each makes every effort to act beyond what is expected of him. This is what we call the "sweetheart" stage, when the couple is getting to know each other without any pressure attached on their relationship.

A couple making up for a wrong committed against the other will make use of every trick in the book to be forgiven. Saying “I’m sorry” is romantically done by sending short notes, simple gifts or flowers.

A newly-wed couple will still retain the "sweetheart" stage early on in the marriage. This means saying sorry for doing something wrong is still an effortless action.

After a while or after being married for quite sometime, the couple will become so familiar with each other that they treat the other not as a lover but the way they would treat other family members.. During this time, pride gets in the way and the words "I’m sorry" has taken a back seat.

Saying that you're sorry is important in maintaining a good marriage. By saying “sorry”, the damage done by too much familiarity and heartlessness against the other spouse heals a little. Staying married for years without uttering these words would mean the piling up of heartaches and even hatred in a couple's hearts. This is not healthy in a relationship because it alienates the other.

Couples who have the tendency to fight, even over trivial things, should relearn the art of saying “I’m sorry”. It is an art because it is a gift from within - but it has to be learned. Married couples who want to keep their marriage should relearn the art which was used when they were still dating.

Saying sorry to your partner does not just tell him or her you're sorry for the things you've done. The important thing is that you are saying sorry because you have hurt your partner's feeling or that you did not mean to do so. Hearing sorry may not turn back the clock but it will somehow ease the pain.

But saying “I’m sorry” without really meaning it can just worsen the fight. If the other spouse is not “dense”, then the insincerity of the apology will be noticed. Of course, it's easier to say sorry to your officemates or friends, but saying sorry to one's spouse will make a difference in the relationship.

The danger is you may have gotten so used to saying you are sorry that it operates like a mantra when the other spouse accuses you of hurting his or her feelings. It will be like saying sorry without really meaning it. Saying that you're sorry should always be followed by a positive action from the erring spouse.

While saying sorry is not the be-all and end-all of a marriage problem, it's a good start and will show the other couple that there is hope for the marriage and that you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep that marriage alive.

Green-Eyed on Marriage

2007-09-05T15:11:00.000+07:00

Marriage and Jealousy: When Love is Never Selfish or Full of Insecurity

In life, there can be no greater destructive force in any relationship, especially in marriage than jealousy. It's a powerful yet negative emotion that is rooted on insecurity. Once a person is unsure of himself or herself, jealousy can easily seep in.

The dangerous thing here is when jealousy that is not founded on truth can definitely ruin marriage.

The negative force that binds a jealous person is relatively difficult to deal with. In most cases, these “green-eyed” persons tend to shun away from the truth.

In reality, to be "green-eyed" is normal. However, the point wherein the spouse will no longer listen to the truth and will only hold on to what he or she believes in even if those facts weren't true isn't acceptable. And if the spouse can no longer control his or her jealousy, the future of their marriage will be ruined.

With jealousy, it is not surprising why the ratio of marriages to divorce nowadays is 2 to 1. It's no longer shocking why two million couples are getting a divorce every year.

The Solution

Love in marriage should never be selfish and insecure. Married couples should never strive for their individual satisfaction. They should always make each other feel the love that binds them together.

There are examples that a person cannot simply dismiss his or her jealousy. It's extremely important that they learn to keep the communications line open and tell their partners about the problem. It is not enough that jealous people try to stop assuming negative ideas. It's best that they tell their partners about them so that they can both work out some solutions to the problem.

The problem with most married couples is that they are afraid to tell their partners the reason they are jealous, hence, miscommunication happens. Researches show that married couples who don't have at least 80% open communication can expect the worst from their marriage.

The bottom line is that jealousy should be resolved through proper communication. Let the other person know what you're jealous about. Make him or her understand how you feel about the past so that you can both create a good solution for the present.

Best of all, try to make each other feel special and loved. Keep in mind that jealousy is essentially rooted in insecurity. If a person who feels 100% assured that he or she's greatly loved by his or her partner, then, there's no way for jealousy, and their marriage will definitely grow old with them.

Raising Children and Marriage

2007-07-20T15:51:00.000+07:00

When two people decide to get married, a commitment is made which includes starting a family and growing old with the other person. Along comes babies and raising these children to become adults is not only about food or clothes but making these individuals respectable members of society.

Raising your children well is a vocation. This is because children look up to their parents as role models. In most cases, the children want to become just as better than what the parents were able to become. By teaching the kids good values at home and enriching those values at school with the guidance of the teachers and the peers in class, the children can succeed in their endeavors. See where the molding of these beings started? It is from parenting.

There is an issue that most parents have to face and that is whether to be focused on the children or on the marriage. This issue has led some couples to have to turn to counseling and has made people realize that in order to keep the marriage and the family together, the people involved should not forget the basic foundation, which is the marriage.

First time parents fear separation (from their children) anxiety believing that something bad will happen to their kids if they are not always by their side. No matter how hard it is, the parents should learn to trust others so that their children don't have to suffer from their parent's paranoia whenever they are not within their eyesight. This can also help the parents have more time for each other as a couple.

Quality time spent between the parents such as going out on a date or talking to each other is essential, otherwise they may start drifting apart causing more problems in the future which may result in divorce. Some people are not able to cope with this since these individuals came from broken homes.

Some couples may not have children. These couples may have something biologically wrong which prevents having a family. Since this is something painful to accept, perhaps the individuals involved should be open-minded about adopting a child that they can treat as their own. This can be done by going to adoption centers or even hiring surrogate mothers. .

Marriage is not just about raising kids. By giving an orphan a new chance at life and teaching it about responsibility and imparting values this child can do a lot of good and perhaps do the same when he or she has reached adulthood.

By putting faith in God and living by those words everyday, the family will remain strong and be able to face the challenges that may lie ahead, especially when children are around.

Spice up Your Marriage

2007-07-20T15:48:00.000+07:00

The Only Way to Spice up Your Marriage: Exploring Common Interests

Married couples seem to go into a lull at some point in their shared lives. There will always come a time when someone works too hard while the other stays at home with their children. It is not really that bad, it is just the way things will be at one point. Someone has to work to sustain the whole family while the other one has to stay home to supervise the children.

This is the lull, where everything, from morning to night, Monday until Sunday, seems to repeat itself. You go to work in the morning, you come home from work in the afternoon, you cook for your children, and you discipline your children. The routine is the same every day. A person has the tendency to get bored and will sometimes feel that the marriage is a total failure. This is when the couple should realize that they have to explore other areas of interests to prevent this lull from happening. This doesn't really have to mean that you should love and/or hate what your partner does... You just have to show genuine interest in every aspect of his/her personality.

The easiest place to look would be into sports. Does your husband love to play or watch football/ basketball/baseball games? Does your wife love to play tennis or volleyball? Maybe it is time for you to have a change of heart and learn to like the sport your partner loves. Learn the basics, or perhaps, let your partner teach you and when your partner sees what you are doing, he/she will appreciate it and return the favor the next time.

Other games include board games where you could compete together with your children and have family time together. Puzzle games are another option. Both of could enjoy working together to complete the puzzle.

Traveling might be another option. Many people love traveling and exploring new places certainly would end boredom. Travel by sea and experience "life in the slow lane". Another option is to travel by airplane so you could get to your destination faster and experience other places and cultures as you travel to Asia or Europe. Traveling is a sure way to stop the doldrums of marriage.

Another interest you could both pursue would be interest in each others job. You don't have to be an accountant to learn why your husband is worrying about a few cents missing or a computer programmer to realize why your wife has headaches because the function of this or that is not working. It only takes a few days to learn the basics of what your partner is doing. You don't have to learn it all, just be interested enough in them to realize what your partner is having problems with.

You could also pursue some religious interests. Join groups that will help you or your partner then perhaps you could help others with their problems. This would be fulfilling and a wonderful experience for both of you.

Perhaps your partner reads a lot, there are a number of things you could do if that is the case. You could let him/her read to you before you sleep. Nothing beats the feeling of sleeping soundly with the one you love at your side. He/she will also love the feeling that you are secure with him/her.

What if your partner is a writer? There are things you could do to help. If he/she writes articles then do the proofreading. Tell him/her your opinion on the subject matter. Do your best to understand what he/she writes and form your own opinion. Writers love criticism, too, since it is one of the ways they'll know that someone has read what they wrote. Criticize him/her or praise what he/she did. It is the only way they'll realize that you've done your "job" of reading his/her article.

No matter what you do, the best thing is to put yourself into your partner's shoes. Learn to love what he/she loves and show some interest in what he/she does. It is only way you can eliminate your boredom and you'll learn to appreciate your partner more fully too.

Sacrificing Equals a Lasting Marriage

2007-07-20T15:45:00.000+07:00

Statistics clearly show that half of American marriages often end up in divorce.

According to relationship researchers, almost all couples, happy or not, have comparable number of incompatible differences. Sixty-nine percent of these disagreements are left unresolved.

Often, the selfish behavior of one partner separates them from their spouse. Each divorce is usually the outcome of one's selfishness in the marriage. One thinks of only satisfying himself; the conveniences, comforts, luxuries and freedom.

Marriage is surrendering totally oneself to another person. The wife submits herself to the husband as the husband, surrenders to his wife; marriage entails a complete surrender, meaning to sacrifice.

Together with considerations comes adaptation and adjustments. If it is already obvious that adjustment have to be made, a spouse must be eager and ready to accomplish anything that is needed.

There will be times in a marriage that spouses should sacrifice something he/she feels important such as a hobby, a job, something that a spouse likes doing, to preserve certain relationship.

To make a marriage to last, it must be guarded and protected. Each spouse has to avoid, limit or give up whatever it is that threatens it.

To others, it can require giving up a loved hobby like golf, bar hopping with friends, or stop communicating with a workmate who is clearly "getting too close."

Spouses can sacrifice their:

1. Beliefs. Should both have opposing beliefs, (for example, raising their children) spouses need to discuss matters and understand each other's point of view. When both really can not agree a compromise is needed the wife might let her husband lead, as long as the husband's beliefs are for the betterment of their children.

2. Goals. Married couples should set common goals so both can work as a team.

3. Career. When career is a threat to one's family, one should sacrifice it.

4. Priorities. Remember that in marriage there is no more "I" - entail lot of "we". Set your priorities straight, your marriage should always come first.

5. Independence. While there are many husbands and wives who value their independence and their spouses understand, one should always consider and consult the other before a mutual decision is made.

Nobody would acknowledge that they depend on someone for strength and stability. Husbands and wives who change their ways for their spouse may be negatively viewed many who are not familiar with the circumstances.

Love enables husbands and wives to willingly sacrifice to attain a lasting marriage.

Solve that Unhappy Marriage Quick

2007-07-20T15:43:00.000+07:00

Marriage is a commitment that is meant to last forever. Two people unite and promise to love each other for the rest of their lives. However, that does not seem true today. Surveys show that the number of married couples who are filing for divorce is getting bigger. Many of them resorted to divorce because they are no longer happy with the marriage.

Could divorce be the lone answer to this problem? If the couple is unhappy with the marriage, there are better solutions than divorce procedures. Here are some of them:

1. Treat problems as challenges. There is no perfect marriage. There will always be problems that will arise within the marriage. They may be health related, financial, and even emotional problems. If the husband or wife dwells on these problems, it will only worsen the situation. It will only lead to blaming one another and finding fault with each other.

Problems should be treated as challenges. They are there to make the marriage stronger. The husband and wife should have a positive outlook on these problems, learn to handle them and find solutions instead of letting themselves be consumed with these trials.

2. The couple should find ways to rekindle the spark they once had. There are times that couples become unhappy with the marriage because they no longer appreciate each other's company. They become focused only on their jobs, friends, children or household issues.

The couple should find ways where they can spend time together. They may want to try new things like traveling, dining out, or go to places where they can spend quality time together. They can do the things they used to do before they got married such as send cards, buy small gifts or send flowers. Reminiscing about happy moments they once shared will help them rekindle the love again.

3. The couple should learn to understand one another and maintain an open communication. Marriages become unhappy when open communication no longer exists. Open communication is very important so each other's needs and wants, as well as their feelings are known.

Often married couples tend to be unhappy with the relationship because their partners have become strangers to them. They no longer know one another, which leads to a very unhappy marriage. Communication is a way to know the spouse better and become closer.

There are many ways where to solve unhappy marriages. It is very important to have spiritual strength. Couples need to have faith and continue praying for their marriage. Spiritual strength will give them love, patience, understanding, forgiveness and trust which will make them happier as a married couple.

Re-introduce Romance into Your Married Life

2007-07-20T15:29:00.000+07:00

In marriage, it is the woman who is most likely to complain that the romance is gone or missing from the relationship.

After several years of being together, you might have become so used to each other that you both tend to forget to spice up the relationship with romance.

The secret to a healthy and a happy marriage is to re-vitalize it by constantly thinking of ways to renew your vows and make each other feel how important you are to your partner.

Here are some tips on how you can re-introduce romance into your married life to liven things up:

1. Reminisce about the good times that you had together.

Life is too short to spend time dwelling on the bad things. Instead, turn it around and make the best out of the good times that you had together.

Re-visit a romantic vacation spot where you celebrated your anniversary.

For the husbands, "court" your wife again. Schedule regular dates and spend some time away from work, your house and your children.

Having some 'alone' time together will surely liven things up a bit and start putting the romance back into your marriage.

2. Be honest with your feelings.

Generally, there is a misconception that you love your mate for what you think he or she is. In reality, you fell in love because of what you think that person will become for you. You expect your partner to change or be someone that they are actually not .This could lead to a lot of hurt and misunderstanding between a couple. Instead of trying to mold your partner into someone that you want them to be, why not look the other way?

Find out what your partner thinks you should improve on. Try to think if this change will bring about a better you. This could lead to a lot more room for improvement in your married life, and allow your partner be happier with the new you.

3. Be more understanding and tolerant of your partner's mistakes.

It is said that the first few years of marriage are the best times that you have as a couple.

As the years pass, you get to be more lax in showing your affection to your partner. You argue about little things and you find the marriage stifling.

If you learn to become more understanding and tolerant of the other's shortcomings, a lot of petty fights will be prevented. Also, learn to be more sensitive to the needs of one another.

With a sprinkling of a more positive outlook in your married life, you're sure to be getting back on track and have a wonderful married life.

4. Talk and listen at the same time.

A typical household problem is the wife nagging her husband. Try to prevent this by listening to each other and then take the time to let the other talk.

Men are not compelled to talk as often as women. Try to balance this by making your husband talk while you listen, because he will likely just listen while you do the talking.

Keeping your communications open is another way to improve your relationship.

5. Try to express your love for each other freely and be generous with compliments.

Nobody ever turns a good compliment down. As a couple, freely complimenting each other - and doing this often - would help put the romance back into your married life.

Also, over the years, you tend to overlook the basic things like thanking our spouse for a favor done, or complimenting her on looking great or saying I love you.

If you just go back to basics and not forget these simple courtesies, you will have a more respectful relationship that you both will be contented with.

6. Always be attractive for your partner.

One of the most effective and sure fire ways to put romance back into your married life is by improving your appearance. If you have had your hair done in a certain style for years, why not try to change it to look a little different?

Having your partner see you in a new light will may put the passion back into your marriage.

All in all, you still need to "work" on keeping your marriage strong and alive.

By re-introducing romance into your relationship, you are just might live the rest of your married life to the fullest!

4 Important Marital Goals

2007-04-13T17:22:00.000+07:00

Improving Marriage: Establishing 4 Important Marital Goals

Many marriages could have been saved all the troubles and hardships by maintaining a healthy relationship the couple started establishing their marital goals early in the relationship. Communication has always been one of the main factors in needed to hold a relationship together. Sharing your view on every important aspect in marriage is not only needed but is expected for both you.

The Family That Prays Together Stays Together.

The phrase above is so cliché, but religion has always been one of the major reasons for disagreements between couples. If the partners are of different faiths – such as protestant and catholic- one or the other may, or may not wish to attend the partner’s church every Sunday. Attending the church of his/her faith is important to them. While this does not seem to be a concern for some couples, it often results in being separated when Sunday arrives, and can result in a major distance between the couple that cannot be easily resolved.

Religion should be discussed early in the relationship. Questions arise like: how often will they go to mass (if catholic); what religion will they be practicing; and if there are children, in which faith will they be raised? How they handle the different religions is crucial. These are basic questions that need to be answered before the couple is married.

Spouse = Best Friend

One’s spouse should always be his/her best friend. It does not mean blocking out other friends from coming into your life but more with taking each other for granted. There should always be constant communication, whether it’s as simple as a gossip that one or the other has heard or as serious as one’s hope and aspirations. Having a lengthy and enjoyable discussion with one’s wife/husband and understanding how they feel is very important in a lasting relationship.

There should also be a set time allowed for just having fun, something to bring back the spark in relationship. It could be as simple as jogging together at the park, or walking the dog together. It could be a romantic date or something special that has been planned in advance. This will bring about strong and healthy relationship.

Fruit of Love

Children, if there are any, should always be a part of a couple’s goals. It is important to know and to understand each other’s feelings when it comes to parenting. How many children do you want? Is adoption an option if the couple can’t bear a child? Those questions are necessary for a couple to answer before they will be ready for a child.

Other questions couples should ask themselves, include how to discipline a child; should the mother scold the child or should the father be the strict one; will the home be full of rules or should they just let their children learn on their own, with guidance every step of the way?

Another point to consider is how their careers will be affected by having children. Supervision of the children when they are young is another consideration. Should one parent resign their current job and find a higher paying job so that the other could stay home and raise the child properly?

A couple’s marital goals, whether short-term or long-term, are necessary to make sure that they’re going to be on the right track with their marriage. It is not enough that they know for certain that something will happen. They have to be prepared for it and be willing to sacrifice for the marriage to work.

Money, Money, Money

Money is nearly always the primary main problem of any couple. It is not just a case of how to earn money but how should they spend it.

First, how will a couple earn their money? What kind of jobs will they have and what hours will they be working? These are simple questions but will have a big impact on the couple’s life. Another question is will they allow the other to work or is one’s salary enough for the family?

Lastly, how will a couple spend money? Daily needs, such as food, clothes, water and electricity are a given. Those are the necessities one needs to survive. There are, of course, other things to consider. Should couples start saving for their child’s education (if there are children)? How much of their earnings should go into their savings and how much of their savings will they spend for family fun and activities?

8 Marriage Tips

2006-12-21T16:34:00.000+07:00

Marriage: From Blah to Ooh-Lala!

When one is younger, he or she might have thought how wonderful it would be to get married. Of course, it is wonderful...but not all of the time. There will be times when marriage will seem like hard work and there will even be a time when leaving will look like a nice option.

To married couples out there, they must remember to look for ways to improve their relationship. Here are some tips that could make the marriage go from boring to infinitely fascinating.

1. Forgive.

Okay, there will always be disagreements in a relationship. But there is also something known as forgiveness that could immediately smooth the situation in an instant. Married couples must never harbor grudges.

2. Stay in love

It is easier said than done, but each has to remember that marriage is one hundred percent love. They must enjoy every new discovery and every new day with their spouses.

3. Stay intimate.

Yes, intimacy and sex must not waver as the time goes on. As long as the couple feels that they still have a strong attraction and affection for each other, the marriage would be fulfilled.

4. Respect and honesty in the key.

If there is no respect and honesty in a marriage in the first place, why are they still together?

5. Communicate effectively.

If the wife is feeling upset by something her husband said she must be able to tell him that right away. Communication is very important in any relationship.

6. Remember the power of humor.

A married couple must take time to share jokes and other crazy antics to decrease tension. Laughter is healing.

7. Decide together.

For things concerning finances, children's education and upbringing, delegation of household chores, the couple must decide together. One must not be superior over the other.

8. Don't forget the simple, small things.

For the husband, he must remember to compliment her and praise her for a job well done. For the wife, she must be attentive to her husband's needs. They must enjoy each other's company. Showing affection one for another is essential.

Marriage is wonderful and a bit complicated. But as long as the partners know that they have each other to hold on to, it should be a rewarding relationship. They would be there for each other, “for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and till death do them part”.

Solving Marriage Problems

2006-11-28T10:52:00.000+07:00

'Til death do us part?’
On solving marriage problems

In today’s world, the moment the spark is gone in a marriage, the couple would automatically consider divorce as the best solution. They want to be out of the relationship...fast. But marriage problems could be solved without going to the lawyer and filing for that separation.

Married couples always need a tip or two. So here they are: simple things that could save the marriage from a potential catastrophe.

1. One word: compromise.

A husband and a wife should make things work by both compromising. They must know when to give and when to take.
Remember that, for a relationship to grow, both parties must give way to the other.

2. Be positive.

A married couple has to always look at the brighter side. They must remember that they got married because they love each other and that they swore that they would be together until death would take them apart. For every shortcoming of the partner, the other must think of the 10 positive things that would somehow give redemption.

3. Have state-of-the-union talk.

This is important. The married couple could go out for a walk and talk. Both must be sympathetic listeners and should not dismiss each other's sentiments and complaints. They must remember that neither of the two should be rude.

4. Go on a trip.

Second honeymoon, anyone? Maybe what a "tired" married couple needs is just a time off, an escape to a place where love could be rekindled.

5. Solve one problem at a time.

Solve multiple problems by resolving one at a time. Trying to solve things all at once can be overwhelming and cause more disagreement.

6. Pray together.

A married couple might want to consider praying together and allowing some spiritual intervention. This might make things easier.

7. Seek professional help.

Sign up for a marriage retreat or consult a marriage counselor. This is a drastic step - but this would help the couple in the long run.

"I need space," "I don't think the marriage is working out," "Let's just split up," and "Meet my divorce lawyer" -- these statements are harsh and common to couples who are about to say goodbye to a lifetime commitment. While solving marriage problems is never a cinch, the couple must think that it would be more difficult to let go of a relationship that was once greatly revered than to rebuild it. Fight for that love!

Online Dating is Not a Contest

2006-10-19T13:00:00.000+07:00

Online dating is not a competition between competing males for the attention of a female. Grow up. Change your mind set from “winning” to “searching”. This isn’t high school. You are all grown up and have been for quite some time, now. Your attitude is the most important asset you have. You should like yourself and not concentrate of all of the things that aren’t YOUR idea of the perfect guy…the one the all women want.

What is that women want, you ask? That’s the age old question. Being of the female persuasion myself, I can tell you a few things women want and don’t want.

Women want a man to be confident…NOT an arrogant jerk. There’s a big difference. You need to like yourself and not be self depreciating but you don’t need to come across like you believe that you are a gift to them from God and have just fallen from the sky. They don’t want you to think that THEY just fell from heaven and are some kind of perfect being, either. They can’t live up to that expectation.

Women want a communicator. The “strong silent type” really isn’t appealing at all. They think you probably don’t have an original thought in your head and you probably haven’t heard a word they said, either or that you just don’t care what they said or didn’t even hear what they said. They want you to be interesting enough to want to know more about you and they want you to think that they are interesting enough to ask intelligent questions about what is important to them, too.

Women do NOT want to be a prize to be won. They don’t want to be a trophy. They want to be the ONE woman that you want to be with.

Marriage and Sex Problems

2006-10-19T12:43:00.000+07:00

Marriage and Sex Problems : When Married Life is Not Confined in Bed Alone

Every person has his or her own limitations on physical and emotional abilities and strength. These limitations are associated with how each person was morally developed by their parents. Their surroundings, their personal outlook on themselves, their fears, and the level of their acceptance and maturity are also factors.

Disparity on sex problems and marriage should never be generalized and concluded. Creating solutions and accepting reality is totally dependent on how the person involved in the relationship can cope with the challenges.

In reality, sex is an important tool in keeping the spark in every marriage burning. In fact, some health experts contend that having a good sex life can absolutely make people feel good about themselves and can actually improve one’s overall health condition.

That is why, for some people who experience sex problems like erectile dysfunction, hormonal imbalance, inability to achieve orgasm, etc., find it extremely difficult to maintain their marriage.

Although sex should never be an issue in marriage, the fact that having a good sexual relationship is advantageous to married couples. Having sex problems is definitely something to talk about and should be resolved if possible.

Today, there are many solutions available to resolve some of the most common sex problems. This is definitely good news since health experts contend that having a good sexual activity in marriage is 25%-30% better for married couples than those who are not yet married.

In fact, in the United Kingdom alone, the largest source of sex therapy is currently receiving 5,000 people who are having sexual problems every year.

Furthermore, statistics show that most people who attend some kind of sexual therapy can actually improve their marriage as well as their health. Almost 93% of those who have undergone sexual therapy have significantly improved their married life.

Most health experts contend that sexual activity can definitely mend a marriage that is nearing to divorce.
However, one should not dismiss the fact that not all sexual problems can be resolved. It is important for every married couple to fully understand their partner’s physical limitations regarding sex.

If there are no available solutions to some sex problems the spouse should be able to accept that reality. If love is the center of the relationship sexual problems should not be a barrier to a lasting marriage.

Save Your Marriage

2006-10-10T11:38:00.000+07:00

Tips on How to Save Your Marriage

In today's world, many couples encounter problems and differences that lead to miserable marriages that often lead to divorce. No one would like to have a broken marriage. The majority still prefers to save the marriage rather than resorting immediately to divorce. Here are some tips that may be considered in saving a marriage:

1. Take action. Take the initiative in doing the things that were usually done when both were still in love and happily married. The wife should try doing those small things that were important to her husband. She could cook a special dinner for the husband, prepare his clothes for tomorrow’s work or even give him small gifts and cards when he would least expect them.

2. Learn to talk. It is hard to keep things to oneself. The spouse may talk to her husband about the things she is feeling regarding their relationship. If the problem is about sex, then the wife should be very open about the subject.

3. Seek advice. It is strongly recommended that you seek advice from a close friend or family member. Getting the advice of a counselor is also helpful. Is it recommended that both the husband and wife attend sessions. They may be able to open up and speak freely with the help of a counselor.

43. Listen to what he says. Open communication does not just involve talking. You must also learn how to listen. The wife should give the husband the chance to talk. If there is a problem that he is brings up, then the wife should not be defensive and instead should listen. The things that are brought up should be treated as guides so that the couple will learn how to respect each other's feelings and points of view.

5. Learn to forgive and forget. If saving marriage is important, then the couple should know how to move on. What matters is how much they really want to save the marriage. Do not dwell on the past mistakes, instead learn to forget everything and accept one another. Bringing up the past will not save the marriage. One must learn how to forgive the spouse and forget all the mistakes of the past.

These are just a few tips that can help save the marriage. However, these suggestions are useless if the husband and/or wife is not willing to cooperate. Above all, love should always be present to save the relationship. It is love that will make all these things easier to do and will help in saving a marriage that was meant to last forever.

Avoid Marriage Conflicts

2006-10-10T11:08:00.000+07:00

Marriage Conflicts Avoidance

No matter how happy a married couple looks like, their marriage is not without occasional conflicts. Having conflicts in marriage life is normal. It is brought about by the natural differences of the couple. However, if the gravity and frequency of conflicts inside a marriage keeps on elevating to new heights, the risk of destroying the marriage is always there.

Keeping a healthy marriage is the key towards avoiding marital conflicts. Listed below are some advices which apply to different situations related to conflict resolutions inside marriage.

-Mind the person, not the differences
Most often than not, serious marriage conflicts are related to smaller things that add up and eventually burst. Marriage entails that the spouses love each other for who they are and small annoying things should be taken for granted. Understanding each other especially with little things will help strengthen the relationship and give a general sense of belongingness to both the spouses.

-Do not compare
It is never a good idea to compare your spouse with the spouse of others, even if it is intended for fun. The grass ain't greener on the other side of the fence. There's good and bad in all people, but the problem is that people tend to see the bad traits in their spouses. Marriage means belongingness and spouses should make their partners feel that they belong together.

-Stay in love
Entering in marriage does not mean the end of fun. Couples tend to be more serious when they enter in marriage, thus, leaving out all the passion and the fun. Keeping the feeling of being in love is the main foundation of a successful marriage.

However happy a couple is inside a marriage, there will come a time when they will face conflicts. But being in conflict with each other is not the end of it all. Here are some more useful advices in dealing with conflicts in marriage.

-Control instincts
People tend to resort to anger, hatred and disrespect when confronting their partners. Remember that conflict resolution does not necessarily have to entail violence and hurt. Talking with an open heart and an unclouded mind will really help resolve the conflict.

-Reaffirm one another
Couples should reaffirm their willingness to resolve the conflict by saying in their own words what the other one is saying and act according to the resolutions which were made.

Differences do not necessarily have to end in conflicts and conflicts do not necessarily have to end in a cold and heartless marriage. Always find love in marriage and everything will fall in place.

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How to Prevent a Divorce

2006-05-10T11:08:00.000+07:00

Divorce seems to be the modern trend in relationships today. The whole world seems to have gotten on the bandwagon which is continuously being driven by divorces in show business. The sanctity of marriage is being compromised and it has become a market for divorce-driven entities such as divorce lawyers.

Many people think that getting a divorce is the only way to get out of an unhappy relationship. But as the great philosopher Aristotle has told us, "There is always a third option."

For people who think that getting a divorce is equivalent to being happy, think again. A recent study which was headed by Ms. Linda Waite of the University of Chicago revealed that divorced people are not necessarily happier. Another more astounding fact which was revealed by the study is that 2/3 of the people who were unhappy with their marriages eventually said that they were happy in their marriages five years after. Her team also found out that the majority of happily married couples had experienced extended periods of unhappiness in their relationships. The difference is that they stayed with the relationship and found solutions to their problems.

Marriage is intended to bind the souls of two people together. It loses its sanctity in the whole context of divorce. There are more ways than one to avoid divorce.

Listed below are some useful tips that one can employ in attempting to save his/her marriage.

- No relationship is perfect
The basic principles of economics tell us that whenever we stick with something, we are always missing out on something. Divorces are usually driven by infidelity and third-party incidences. Remember that no relationship is perfect. Trouble between spouses is no excuse for infidelity, rather it should strengthen their relationship

- Conversation is salvation
Most conflicts elevate to fights because of the lack of communication. Some couples only talk about errands and tasks. Keeping an open line of communication will keep the openness in the marriage and prevent hidden feelings which can spur serious emotional injuries.

- Seek help
If all else fails and you have tried to resolve the problem between the two of you, seek help. There are professional marriage counselors who can help couples get back on the right track. There's no harm in asking for help.

Bear in mind that divorce has its repercussions, including huge financial setbacks. More importantly, it desecrates marriage and fully ends relationships. In the end, if there's more than enough love to go around inside a home, divorce will never be a reality.

How to Make Irreconcilable Differences Actually Reconcilable

2006-05-09T10:15:00.000+07:00

Irreconcilable differences may be factors that would affect the relationship in a marriage. However, these incompatibilities can be resolved through the following tips on how a couple can work for a lasting marriage:

1.     Exert an effort show value to your mutual interests. Many couples overcome their incompatibilities by staying together so that they may find ways to adjust on each other’s differences. There are many options where couples may spend time to distinguish their irreconcilable differences like eating out together for a dinner, play golf, or watch movies. These mutual interests can bind couples back together and can create strong relationships that may last forever.

2.     Many have couples encountered marital problems regarding the incompatibility of a couple to adjust to the interest of the other. Couples should realize on how to take nothing for granted in the relationship. This will ensure that the couple will ignore each other’s differences and let each other live each single moment together like the first time they have met.

3.     Try to remember that the most important thing that binds couples in marriages is love. In spite of the differences that many couples discover in their partners as the years go by, many couples tend to mark some irreconcilable differences that would make the marriage weaker. Remember that love made the relationship work and is the only way to make it last.

4.     A couple must learn how to serve one another. This means that a couple should be able to know how to sacrifice ones happiness for the happiness of the spouse. There are instances where couples try to find ways to be compatible, but in the process, they become more miserable in the relationship. There might be a point in time that a couple will learn on how to live together even when they are not compatible because they have learned how to give one another the happiness that both of them truly deserve.

5.     Giving compliments can be a helpful way to lessen the tension that conflicts have brought in the relationship. Most conflicts in a marriage are because of irreconcilable differences of a couple. The appreciation of a spouse’s effort to distinguish the value of the things that they do to one another will make them both happy living together and will put aside those incompatible things that can create conflicts in the relationship.

Irreconcilable differences may be the reason why a relationship can go weaker. These incompatibilities should be treated as lessons and will just teach two people to love one another and become happy in their marriage because they have learned how to live together in spite of their differences.

Marriage Advice from Free Online Dating Tips

Common Marriage Problems

2006-05-09T10:10:00.000+07:00

Marriage Problems: Common, But Never Simple

You may think the common problem is because he leaves the toothpaste cap half on or that she keeps on coming back with a new dent on the car.

It is a scary thought – the idea that maybe tomorrow one of you will just come up to the other and say, “I think don’t want to be married to you anymore.”

One may think they’re ready for it, but the truth is, they never are. They see it coming from a distance, but unfortunately, they were too preoccupied with the problem, they forgot to look for a solution.

And that is what is commonly happening with married couples today. There is so much anticipation on looking out for the telltale marriage trouble signs that once the problem is in your face, hardly anything is done about it.

What are these “common marriage problems” that are being talked about so often? A lot will tell you these problems fall in any of these three categories: career and finances, fidelity and personality.

Strained marriages are rocked by problems from all of these categories but the marriages that survive do so because they addressed the problem properly and looked for a solution – together.

So just how do you actually do that? It is both simple and complex.

It is simple because it just requires you to admit to yourself and to your spouse that you have a problem. On the other hand, it is complex because both of you may not agree on what exactly the problem is and the solution for it.

For both of you to reach an agreement, you must be able to both listen and articulate. Listen first to what your spouse thinks is the problem that’s driving you apart.

After he/she has said her part, then carefully tell her what’s on your mind. This act of listening and communicating then brings to both your attentions the problems with your relationship and the causes for it.

However, the both of you need to take the next step by finding a solution to the problem. This is the tricky part for it will undoubtedly require adjustment from both sides. However, simply making the necessary adjustments alone will not address the problem.

You need to find the reason why you are making these sacrifices. And that reason should be because you love your spouse and want to build on the relationship making it stronger with time.

Whether it is a problem with spending, or with who gets to hold the remote control, marriage problems can be weathered when faced together and worked on together. In time, an open toothpaste tube, or another fender bender won’t have an effect at all on the relationship.

5 Romance Tips

2006-05-05T09:51:00.000+07:00

Say it with Words

Surprise your mate with little notes found in unexpected places. If your mate travels for work, place a loving note somewhere in their suitcase. Perhaps they have a long commute to work. If so, slip a note saying, “I love you,” in their CD case where you know they will find it. Another recommendation is sticking a note on the bathroom mirror so this will be the first thing seen in the morning. Be creative and have some fun with this.

Make the Men Feel Good

For the man in your life, here are some recommendations for making him feel special:

.. Flirt with him in public places
.. Just once, leave the toilet lid up
.. Lavish him with compliments
.. Tell him how sexy he is
.. Act jealous once in awhile, even if you are not
.. Remind him that he is a wonderful mate, husband, father, whichever applies
.. Tell him how handsome you find him

Make the Women Feel Good

Just like men, woman love feeling good about themselves. These
recommendations might help:

.. Tell her how beautiful she is
.. Compliment her on her many skills (be specific)
.. Just once, leave the toilet seat down
.. Tell her how much she means to you
.. Let her know that she is your best friend
.. Show affectionate to her in front of family and friends
.. Let her know that you find her to be sexy

Listen – Really Listen

Get into a habit of listening to what your mate is saying. Not the kind of listening that you do when you go out or sit at the dinner table, but a different kind of listening. Have you ever overheard your mate make a comment to a friend or family member about something they really want or want to do?
Maybe you heard your boyfriend or husband tell a friend that they would love a certain tool. For no reason whatsoever, make a special effort to get that for him. You might have heard your girlfriend or wife mention a spa that they would love to try. Again, without any reason, surprise her. This shows that your mate is really paying attention to things important to you.

Showing Love

Although hearing the words, “I love you” is special and important, sometimes you wish you could tell your mate as well as hear from your mate those words, but in special and unique ways. Here are some ideas of how this can be accomplished:

.. Rent his favorite movie, even if it is something you do not like, and plan an evening alone where you can be with him as he enjoys his special treat.
.. When he gets out of the shower, hand him a warm, cozy towel just heated in the dryer.
.. When you make him pancakes, first pour the words, “I Love You” on the griddle and cook for a minute to brown. Then, pour more batter over the words to create a round pancake. The result will be a pancake displaying those three special words when you flip it over.
.. While he is out of town, wash his car and surprise him by picking him up in a clean, shiny car at the airport.
.. Take him out to lunch.
.. Have his favorite breakfast on the table along with the morning newspaper.
.. Instead of bugging him to go to the grocery store with you, let him stay home.
.. Display your favorite picture of the two of you on the refrigerator.
.. Buy him a subscription to his favorite magazine.

Never Too Busy To Build a Lasting Marriage

2006-05-05T09:39:00.000+07:00

There is a big project at work and you need to show your boss that you’re ready for that promotion which will help pay the mortgage. A seminar is in town for a business opportunity you’re interested in while a ton of paperwork piles up on your desk.

Your child’s homeroom teacher has called again asking you for a visit. A science project needs to be done, but not before the soccer team comes over while a ton of laundry piles up in the hamper.

By day end, the only thing that you want to do is clean up, get under the covers and sleep – not minding the person on the other side of the bed who’s equally tired as you are.

Sounds familiar ? While this may seem normal for your family, continuing like this will wear you and your relationships down, especially with your spouse. This can lead to constant bickering, which can make a house that is simply not a home.

But then you may say, “I can’t help it if I’ve got a lot of work to do. As much as I want to have ‘quality time’ I just don’t have the time for it.”

Not necessarily true.

While you may have a lot to do, there are ways to find time to care for what’s truly important – and that is your relationship with your spouse and your family. Below are some suggestions just to get you started:

- When at work, during a coffee break or in between meetings, call up your husband/wife, just to let them know you’re thinking about them. Or you can tap out a short email or instant message.

- On occasion, ask your spouse what kind of food they would like to have for a change. And when at the grocery, make a slight detour and buy the ingredients for that dish.

- After dinner, even if you’re tired, help with cleaning up. This gives you time for you and your partner to share your day while preventing the notorious dozing off in mid-conversation. Another option is having the kids take care of cleaning up while you and your partner go out for a short walk.

Reinforce the relationship with these small but thoughtful gestures, building on the love that brought you and your partner together in the first place. In spite your busy and hectic schedule, they are never that far from your mind, which shows just how special they are to you.

As this becomes part of how you conduct “everyday” life, you’ll find your relationship with your spouse continues to grow stronger over time.

Space Helps a Marriage Work

2006-05-05T09:38:00.000+07:00

Being married does not mean being with your spouse every minute of the day. It does mean giving space for the other person to do other things that are important for him or her.

People say that the best way to resolve conflicts and/or addressing an issue is by talking about it. There should be an appropriate time and a place for this to happen. Let cooler heads prevail!

Are they both ready to talk about it? If one or the other is not ready for discussion , a healthy conversation will not occur. An altercation could very well be the outcome. The best thing to do when issues arise is to explain to the other person that there is problem that needs to be discussed and asking when it would be possible to have that discussion.

Most people have good intentions when asking another person to do something that they feel is undesirable. This could be a request to not smoke in the house, turn the TV down, or not entering the house with dirty shoes.  If those requests are not honored should one press the issue?  If the undesirable actions continue the other party may see repeated requests as nagging.
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There are ways to solve this problem. Saying the same thing over and over again like a broken record will do more harm than good. Find another way to settle the matter. Calm discussions and compromise are preferable.

If you have an idea that you think is exciting and want to share it feel free to do so.  Sometimes the idea may not appeal to your partner right at the moment.  He/she may brush it aside or need time to think about it.  It is best to get it out in the open even if it is not discussed at that time.  Perhaps the idea will be a subject you will want to discuss in the future.

Giving space to a spouse is healthy. This gives the individual time to think and rethink or recharge.  It is easier to relay a message or discuss an idea that is being relayed by your spouse when tension is not a problem.

Courtesy for A Lasting Marriage

2006-05-05T09:35:00.000+07:00

Be Courteous and Save the Marriage

The wedding celebration is summed up with the exchange of the “I do’s.” This is just the beginning. There are more exchanges of words expected. However, to have a lasting relationship, respect is the key.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, respect is such a big word. It is a big factor in any relationship. It is the foundation of love and trust. Any married couple encountering difficulties in their relationships can simply go back to this fundamental.

To maintain harmony, each of the spouses must manifest respect to the other. Simply be courteous, both in words and in actions.

Most people associate courtesy with etiquette. That is why most people think it is very burdensome. Some people even claim that they want to be laidback in a serious relationship, that there is no need for pretenses or formalities.

However, courtesy is not all about table manners or social formalities. It is simply an active choice of doing the proper things at the proper time, like displaying gratitude when there is something to be thankful for or expressing sweet words of love.

Say the Magic Word

Do not let politeness be forgotten in the relationship. To be courteous to each other is not difficult. One only has to remember the magic words taught back in the kindergarten days. Here are some phrases that would definitely count.

1. “Please.”
Requesting for something to be done will sound better if coupled with this simple word.

2. “Thank You.”
These two words express gratitude for someone who went out of the way to do something special.

3. “You’re welcome.”

Even in married life, each of the spouses still deserves such sweet and comforting phrases. Their lasting effects are not to be underestimated. These words never go out of style.

Be Courteous in Your Actions

Courtesy can also be extended on many other occasions.

It would be a good thought to return phone calls. Leaving a note behind to simply inform the itinerary or destination for the day will also assure the husband or the wife. Remembering and celebrating anniversaries and birthdays are definitely plus points.

Do not fall out of these habits. Common courtesy is deserved by others. Coupled with the thought of doing such things will definitely make the spouse worthy of respect.

The simplest and most ordinary things done everyday are actually the best things to take note of when trying to improve the marriage. If one aims for more intimacy and openness in the marriage, such simple and intimate ways of communication must be encouraged.

Fighting Fairly for A Lasting Marriage

2006-05-05T09:34:00.000+07:00

Respect Each Other : Key to Fighting Fairly

There comes a time when tensions reach their top level that any married couple cannot help but just let out their frustration on each other. Fights are generally inevitable. They seem to be something that has to be dealt with. However, if it starts to be serious, conscious efforts should be done to salvage a marriage.

Fights

Sick and tired of constant bickering and fighting? It is actually such a wonder why other people just cannot help but fight.

Fights take place because of failure to compromise, arrive at a consensus or even to have a simple understanding of a situation. They are often triggered by fears, threatened feelings or insecurities.

They usually result to constant disagreement, bickering, verbal exchange of angry words, and unfortunately, it gets physical in some cases.

The After Effects

Recall. In the instances that a couple would fight, what are the effects after? No one actually wins in any argument. The confrontations can be very exhausting. The disagreements create too much tension. Rarely would one feel good after a fight.

How to Avoid Fights

Being part of the reality of  being in a marriage relationship, there should be active effort to avoid fights. If they cannot be avoided, there are ways of minimizing their bad effects or to at least arrive at a helpful resolution. Fight fairly. Here are some ways:

1. Know one another. Know what upsets the other. Part of  love and respect for your partner is to avoid insinuating things that would upset the other.

2. Do not be obsessed with being in control.

3. Maintain some space. Sometimes fights result because the husband and the wife are already in each other’s “hair”. Once one or the other is feeling the tension rise, it may be best to cool down away from one another with mutual respect.

4. Even if some time apart is desirable, it should be kept in mind that communication   must be maintained. Once the spouses have both “cooled down”, the problem should be discussed and resolved.

5. Big fights usually are started from small misunderstandings. It is essential that each party be able to discuss with the other any matter which he or she finds troubling no matter how trivial it may seem.

Current statistics indicate that there are at least 25 million people in the United States alone who have been divorced. Do not be part of this sad statistic. The key to a lasting marriage is to maintain an open communication. Respect each other. Be sensitive to the needs, strengths and weaknesses of each other. With these foundations, the couple will weather any storm.

Achieving Financial Harmony in Married Life

2006-05-05T09:32:00.000+07:00

In married life the desire to go shopping, to celebrate a special day, to watch a movie or to simply dine out will arise often. It can be very difficult when these simple desires have to be set aside.

The fact is that there really is just no money available for fulfilling simple “extras”. The worse part is that the frustration could result in tempers rising and constant bickering. It is essential for couples to calmly confront this financial situation together.

Financial Difficulties

Bad credit situations and low income are often the roots of the conflicts. It can also go beyond the ordinary cash problems. There can also be struggles of the couple within themselves. That tension could grow stronger as the spouse’s fear what the future will bring, worries over their self worth, and despair over their limited means.

It is important to address this before the financial situation leads much larger problems.

Seeking Solutions

Debt is a big problem. Many families have incurred thousands of dollars of debt at one time. Fighting over money cannot be resolved by just sulking or falsely hoping to win the lottery. The best thing to do is to give an active response to the problem.

Take action now and control the money matters. For those starting their marriage, it is necessary to avoid taking on debt. Control is the key. Married couple must take steps to spend wisely and avoid debt if at all possible.

1. Plan the budget. Allot money for the necessities and avoid any unnecessary purchases.

2. A portion of the budget should be set aside for savings. At least 5% of the monthly income should be saved for emergency purposes.

3. Live within one's means. Do away with extravagance.

4. Cut down on expenses. For example credit card use should be limited to important purchases. Do creative activities during leisure time instead of spending on a movie movies, etc.

5. Communicate plans with your partner. It will be helpful to discuss important financial decisions with one another to make sure that both are working together to achieve their goals.

6. There are instances when experts can help by giving sound financial advice on matters when the couple is uncertain about the problem.

In a married life, problems will come and go. The only thing that matters is for couples to resolve the problem amicably. During financial conflicts, conscious effort should be given to learning the skill of handling money responsibly . Confront this situation with common sense and loving care.

Intimacy and a Lasting Marriage

2006-05-05T09:31:00.000+07:00

The Path to Forever : Intimacy and a Lasting Marriage

For a marriage to survive and last until that dreamy "forever," intimacy must exist between the couple. What is intimacy anyway? This just does not pertain to the act of making love, but fulfilling each other's emotional needs. It entails enlightening conversations in between kisses and caresses.

A lot of marriage counselors chalk up the longevity of a marriage to how intimate the couple is. Here are some ways how to achieve that intimacy for an ideal, almost-perfect marriage:

1. All work and no intimacy make a dull couple.

It is a given that after a crazy day at the office, the husband and wife both feel exhausted. But they must not let it get in the way of their relationship. They must allow for some quality time in and out of their love bed.

2. The husband must give what his wife wants: quality talk time.

Wives want to talk things out and express what is inside their hearts. The husband must grant her that as this is one way to achieve emotional intimacy.

3. The couple must still exert an effort to look attractive.

It does not mean that both must be “dressed up” all the time. But married couples must still try their best to look nice for their partners. This is one of the ways to start up the intimacy.

4. The couple must schedule dates.

Dating must not end at marriage. In fact, both should set a time to go out and have fun, just like before.

5. Husband and wife must continually unleash their romantic side.

Kisses, hugs, flowers, holding hands, stolen smacks...’the works’ - they do magic in a relationship.

6. Surprises are nice.

Sweet surprises always lead to intimacy. If the couple knows when to pull off these incredibly romantic stints, then that's a surefire way to attain a divorce-proof relationship.

7. Solving a problem before it gets blown out of proportion is important.

Intimacy loses its appeal once it gets "infected" by those conflicts that cripple the relationship. Conflicts should let a couple grow and not cause the downfall.

It is nice to earn that happily-ever-after plateau. But marriage is not as easy as a Disney fairytale had told everyone. Intimacy must be maintained long after the honeymoon is over to guarantee the husband and wife that yes, this marriage would last. That yes, forever is possible.

How to Have a Lasting Marriage through Honesty

2006-05-05T09:28:00.000+07:00

Honesty is one very important factor necessary to have a strong and lasting marriage. Every couple must be aware of each other's strengths and weaknesses. They should be able to live together with trust in and understanding for one another.

Here are some tips on how you can have a lasting marriage through honesty:

1.     To have a strong relationship, a couple should know most of the things about one other. It is very important for a couple to know details about one's previous relationships and love life. This can build a strong relationship by letting the partner have a background on the things that have happened from the partner’s past especially on previous relationships.

2.     Make sure that information on current friends is brought up during conversations that should involve them. This will allow the couple to have an idea how the personalities of these people can influence and affect each other’s lives. There are also instances where friends can be helpful in strengthening and maintaining a lasting marriage.

3.     A spouse must also know information regarding the partner’s occupation or on how the partner earns a living. It is essential for a couple to be informed on details such as where one's partner works and how much he/she earns in a month.

4.     Couples should have shared dreams and plans. It is essential in a marriage that couples share the same dreams. Disappointments and failures should be dealt with together as married a couple.

Some couples tend to hide their failures from their spouses because they fear the spouse might be affected by problems in which the other may be involved  Some would think that being honest all the time could lead to arguments and conflicts in a marriage. Problems and failures should be resolved together. A spouse needs someone to lean on and that is the main responsibility of the other spouse and vice versa.

5.     Couples are advised not to be hesitant in asking questions about one another’s feelings. There might be some occasions where one spouse or the other could feel the lack of moral support. Some marriages are destroyed due to financial problems where a spouse can no longer support the financial needs of the household.  In such cases honesty is the only answer.

Honesty should be treated as the most respectful approach to a partner’s feelings. Many have survived the challenges of marriage because honesty is the very foundation of their relationship. Always remember that being true and honest is how a person can express his or her love to his or her partner.

Grow Together for A Lasting Marriage

2006-05-05T09:27:00.000+07:00

Growing Old with Each Other

Marriage is a serious commitment between two individuals. That commitment should be remembered  no matter how long you have been together for a long time. It is a promise that the couple made in front of witnesses, not just on the wedding day but for the days and years beyond. It is a commitment that makes two people willing to grow old together no matter what the circumstances..

When two people are in a relationship, there are tantrums and petty fights that occur and such situations must be handled delicately until the matter has been laid to rest. Getting married will not make such negative situations go away.  Professionals are sometimes needed to keep the love alive.

Marriage counselors do this by talking to the people involved by discussing the issues involved.  Once the causes of the disagreement have been determined, solutions are created with the help of the counselor. Constant follow-up must be done.

One way of handling this is agreeing on a secret code that both have to agree and that will uplift the other person when necessary. This could be something memorable to the couple. A favorite place, memory, or word could be that clue. Another example for creating a secret code may involve injecting a little humor that will change tears into laughter.  This can be a line from a movie or a cartoon that both love. I will mean nothing to others but is a sign that is said to the other person when things don’t go very well.

There are times when a husband or wife do not acknowledge the other when asked to perform a task or answer a question.  When the acknowledgment is not made and the request is completed tempers often flare. Thinking about the consequences first is the advice of many counselors.  Make the best of the situation and back off rather than making the situation worse

A marriage will have both happy and sad moments. These are the times that both have to pull together and rise above moment in order to make the marriage work. No one said that this task would be easy or that problems could be resolved with a snap of a finger. It is a partnership that both members must be involved with so that the relationship continues until both have reached their golden years. Work hard toward a common goal so this relationship can continue until both have reached their golden years.

Communication and Lasting Marriage

2006-05-05T09:24:00.000+07:00

Happily Ever After : Just How Do You Get There ?

In the real world, it’s certainly not with a magic wand. But real married life doesn’t necessarily have to be dull and gray either.

A bright and lasting marriage is very possible even after the honeymoon period. What is needed is the willingness to work at it and an even bigger will to keep on working when things get difficult – because as with any marriage, it definitely will.

A healthy marriage is a lot like a healthy body. As your body requires proper feeding, consistent exercise and sufficient rest; so does your marriage need constant reassurance, adequate time together, and steady communication.

Communication to a marriage is a lot like exercise for the body. It is what you do to make sure your relationship is in good shape.

A misconception people have over communication is that it requires words and a schedule to sit down and talk. While it is true that couples need to find time to talk on a regular basis, consistent communication goes beyond simply this.

Communication also involves non-verbal cues such as body language and with how common everyday things are done.

For example, when you see your partner crossing his arms while you’re explaining something, he may not be receptive to what you are saying. Seeing his/her body tense up when you bring up a certain topic may mean that the particular subject is causing him/her stress.

Another example of non-verbal communication is noticing how they do certain everyday things differently. An example would be when the wife is dressed up a bit nicer than usual. She may want to look special for some reason but prefers not to say it outright. When the husband spends more and more time working in the garage than he used to, he may be saying that something is bothering him, which makes him want to spend less time in the house.

Of course the meanings of these actions vary, but it is wise to be aware of them. Use these non-verbal cues as signs that your partner may want to say something, but is reluctant to talk about them for now. And then, when the time is right, be ready to take these non-verbal communications to the next level and talk about it.

As it is with your body where instant results don’t come with a few exercise sessions; the same principle applies to a marriage. Communicating now will not necessarily make everything rosy from here on end, but it will certainly pave the way to a healthy relationship much more smoothly.

A Marriage Based on Respect

2006-05-05T09:22:00.000+07:00

When two people decide to get married, there is no “I” anymore in the relationship. It has been changed to “we.” Both individuals have to decide together how to go through life by facing the good times and the bad.

Issues will come up and instead of sticking to one’s belief and ideas; the individual has to learn to make compromises to arrive at win-win situations. A good example of showing the other person love and respect is understanding the point of view of that individual. in If each party feels differently then both parties can deal with it level-headedly.

Another way of showing respect is giving the person time to be alone. Some issues cannot be resolved if the spouse has other things to think about. The advice of marriage counselors is by asking the other person if it is a good time to talk. If it isn’t, then one should just wait until an appropriate time and repeat the request to talk.
If one person wants to do something, the other individual in the marriage should be consulted. Making plans without the spouse knowing will only create problems. In other words, “no surprises”.

A big issue that may break up the marriage is money. Even if there is division of labor in the household - one person earning the income and the other taking care of the finances, communication must be use to avoid financial problems.

A recent survey has shown that most couples are in debt. Some people have spent more than is available from the day of the wedding itself. By sticking to a budget or working with a financial consultant, the couple can be debt free in no time.

There will always be a period of adjustment when two people get married. Some people think that they know all about their partner but that person is often mistaken .

Talking openly to one another is the healthiest way to keep the marriage bond intact, even though it may not be smooth sailing all of the time. Instead of criticizing or blaming the other for what has happened, both should work together to solve any disputes. The couple will become stronger and will be more ready to face other situations.

Lasting Marriage Tips

2006-04-28T17:41:00.000+07:00

The Perfect Love

A lasting marriage is when two people promise to love each other through the good times and the bad, the triumphs and setbacks. Here are some tips that a couple can do to achiever their goals.

Marriage is about a couple dealing with all problems together. The couple has to be open and honest with one another since often these problems affect both of them.

There will be things that may not be of interest to only one person. But by being open minded and showing some enthusiasm, it will always be a game for two.

A partner will not always share the same views about certain issues. Should conflict arise, one should respect the opinion of the other regarding the matter and try to understand the point of view of the other person.

When special occasions are not been celebrated as elaborately as they once were, it would be nice to surprise your partner with flowers and gifts from time to time. This does not have to happen just at Christmas, and birthdays or anniversaries but just for the sake of doing surprising your partner.

Fights happen sometimes over the smallest things. The couple should resolve these quickly, preferably before going to bed. If possible the issue should not be revisited.

One should always be proud of his or her partner. This can be done by telling others things that the other partner has accomplished and how proud you are of those accomplishments.

Participate in activities such as sports or hobbies that both people enjoy. You should make time for getting more and more intimate with one another. Sex is a key element that keeps the marriage alive since this is something both can enjoy.

There is only so much that two people can do to make the marriage work. Both should pray and ask for guidance from God to be able to face the challenges ahead and be thankful for the gifts and blessings that the almighty has bestowed on them.

Marriage is not the day that's celebrated when two individuals became a couple. It is what happens in the succeeding days and years when both have to work hard to succeed in their partnership.

Happy Marriage Advice

2006-04-13T18:28:00.000+07:00

Being Merry in Marriage

Many couples enter marriage with fairytale hopes "and they live happily ever after" fantasy. But in reality, it takes so much more than a stylish wedding dress and an expensive wedding ring to end up “happily ever after”.

Staying fulfilled in a marriage requires both effort and passion pf each partner. Many couples start to lose passion after their honeymoon, and this should not be the case. Here is some advice on how to stay happy in the sacred union of souls.

1) Don't rely on assumptions and expectations
There is nothing wrong with making assumptions and expectations, however, bear in mind that many times, assumptions stay as assumptions and expectations are hard to meet. Remember that marriage is the acceptance of a person for who he/she is. Marriages are decayed by hurt brought about by lofty expectations. There's nothing wrong with cutting each other some slack whenever expectations are not met.

2) Express yourself
There's nothing wrong in saying "I love you." People go about their daily lives without noticing how seldom they say "I love you" to the persons they love. When people are young, they wait for a long time to say these three words to someone. Do not hesitate to use the three little words “I love you!”.

Asking for forgiveness is one of the most difficult things to do. Saying "I'm sorry" is often as seldom said as "I love you." Saying sorry relieves tension for both parties and keeps the communication line open and unclouded by resentment or hatred.

Giving a compliment to your partner every day would brighten your relationship and give it an overall positive feeling. A simple "you look wonderful, honey" would really mean a lot.

3) Don't forget yourself
A person cannot love another if he/she cannot love himself/herself. Self-pampering and spending time alone once in a while is a healthy practice inside a relationship. Having time for oneself gives a person a chance to reflect and think of ways to be better inside the relationship.

4) Keep the fire burning
No one will argue that an active sex life will help keep a happy marriage. When couples openly talk about preferences and dislikes, it helps them bond in making love. Being a little playful and creative in love making may also make a difference.

Being happy in marriage takes effort from the couple but it should not be stripped of its fun. As the song goes, "and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Be merry in marriage!

Finding The Right Partner

2006-03-10T15:32:00.000+07:00

FINDING THE RIGHT PARTNER

Unsure of what the future brings us, young and full of hopes and dreams, we step into the difficult life of dating and relationships without any experience. And then, based only on what we feel, we think the right partner is the person that gives us the biggest thrill, the one that first makes us feel an impossible to fight attraction.

So our first experiences of love are physical, and they can’t always be the right choices. Among lots of sad love stories and many more disappointments one can find the right one that makes them complete and safe.

Maybe the word safe turns many hearts away, it may seem wrong to romantic persons, but that is the key that unlock the door to a perfect partner and a perfect relationship.

So, to find the right one we have to look deep inside ourselves and see what our most intimate desires are. We have to know ourselves at the highest level to discover what exactly we expect from others. Once we did that, then we are ready to explore, search the world for the one and if we’re lucky we’ll find our happiness.

The first criterion one must rely on is the heart, of course, because where everything is perfect but there’s no love, which is not a relationship, that’s a friendship. So find someone you love and start a relationship. Then, after the first weeks when everything is perfect no matter what, the blindness of love will begin to disappear and you be able to see everything that makes your partner what he/she is: all the qualities and all the defects.

Putting everything in balance is the key. Here’s where the second criteria comes forward, a criteria that must be based on reason: here you must think hard and see if you can live forever maybe with the one you love.

Most of the times, when nothing is wrong apparently, people go on and on with meaningless relationships that become a habit more that a love. You must, above everything, never do that mistake cause if you do you’ll see the truth too late, when many disappointments changed you and made you more bitter in love.

In conclusion, finding the right partner is easy for everyone that knows hoe to use his/hers hearts and mind as one. If we suffer a little when we give up on a love that makes us sad and angry, we’ll be plentifully rewarded when we’ll find out we did a right choice and that choice was the one that allowed us to meet and keep the right one next to us.

Love

2006-03-10T15:31:00.000+07:00

Love is a type of eternal bond in which one tries to bring joy for other at the sacrifice of his own happiness. Love lights the heart of people and stops violence. Love can kill all the miseries of life like pain and sorrow. Love brings peace and happiness in life. Love brings desire to live life.

Love is not only between husband and wife but it is the relationship between two individuals who have consideration for each other it can be between father and child, mother and her son, brother and sister, between friends or may be between a man and his pet dog. Example: Husband loves his wife, mother loves her child, businessman loves their business and saint loves god.

Love is the gift that you can give your dear ones. Love is like a precious pearl and the people who understand the meaning of love will never let it fell down. Love is sign for happiness and it can bring pleasure in life. Love is sweeter than sugar, higher than sky and brighter than sun.

A person who has not loved anyone is incomplete in himself. If you have never loved anyone, if your life is full of sorrow only love is a weapon by which you can kill all your miseries and bring happiness for yourself and to others also.

You can kill the enmity of your enemies just by saying few words of love. You can kill the quarrel just by love. The life of love never comes to end. Love never dies. The beginning of love can not be traced in history. It is believed that the existence of love is longer than existence of human being.

When a young man expresses his love towards his beloved he may do it by words like I love the way you think, the way you perceive things, the way you caress your dear ones, the way you present yourselves, the way you behave with strangers. This means that if you love a person there may be various reasons for your love. These could be:

You may love a person because of his or her qualities like everyone loves great personalities Example: Everyone loved Mahatma Abraham Lincoln because he was a great personality.

You may love a person because of the relationship that he or she may have with you like father loves his child because of the relationship.

You love others and caress for them because of your inherent qualities. Example: Abraham Lincoln loved everyone because of his qualities.

Short Steps to Improving Your Relationships

2006-02-23T18:24:00.000+07:00

Is there magic to what makes some relationships last longer than others? Maybe. Do some people just sit back and sulk, while others seem to let life go by right over their heads and problems? It sure seems so. Or maybe it’s just that some people learn secrets of success from their grandparents or other relatives or friends. And since the latter is probably more accurate, here are some tried and true tips from people who have enjoyed long, happy relationships.

1. DISAGREE – Agree that it’s okay to disagree on some issues, and leave it at that. No need to create a new religion or political movement just to appease both of you. You don’t HAVE to agree on everything. And you won’t. And that’s okay.

2. FUN – Couple tend to have fun on dates, then get married and too serious. Lighten up. Head to Yahoo Games (off Yahoo.com main site) and join in any number of card or other games. Or head to a local rental shop and rent an Xbox or other game player and some games.

3. REFRESH – Take time to look back, refresh your memories and share what brought you together. Especially when times are difficult, lean back and rely on these old memories as your foundation and glue yourselves back together with them (not literally, of course!)

4. SPACE – Give each other some space. Either you trust or you don’t. Get on with life, though. People need time alone and time with their mates and other friends. Be sure to give and take your fair share of space.

5. DATES – Keep dating each other. Even if life seems too busy, meet at the end of the evening for something light and easy, like viewing your favorite sitcom (record it if necessary) together or playing a game of Euchre.

6. MEMORIES – Make some together. Enjoy special moments, special anniversary dates and events. No need to be elaborate. For example, maybe you enjoyed watching a hot air balloon race one spring day. The next year, you might schedule time to watch it again. Make it an annual event. Collect postcards with balloons on the, playing cards, toss pillows…over time it becomes a theme.

7. FORGET – No need to “always” remember the bad things that happened during an argument. Actively “forget” sometimes. Be the first to apologize and make up. Go for it!

So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.

7 Secrets of a Happy Marriage

2006-02-23T18:21:00.000+07:00

Do you believe in falling in love? In finding that "special someone" who is your other half, your soulmate? Do you dream of finding the one person in all the world who will understand you, love you and be there for you, no matter what? If so, you're not alone. In fact, statistics show that about 90% of adults will get married at least once in their lives.

As a society, we've become so conditioned to the fairy tale of "Happily Ever After" that many people actually feel as if their life is lacking something if they're not a part of a couple.

But sadly, just like in the movies, most peoples' thoughts seem to stop at the part when the music swells and the happy couple says "I do" and loses themselves in that first magic kiss as husband and wife. They don't think about what happens after the honeymoon.

Considering that about 43% of all marriages in the U.S. ends in divorce, perhaps a class on the realities of building and maintaining a strong healthy marriage should become required before signing on the dotted line of a marriage license.

Having a happy marriage doesn't just happen by accident. It doesn't happen because you're "in love" or "perfect" for each other. Marriage is a partnership, and like any partnership, it takes commitment, dedication and hard work to help it to grow strong.

Here are some tips given by couples whose marriages are strong and healthy. Follow them, adapt them to work in your own marriage, and you'll be on your way to having what we all want -- a happy marriage!

1. Listen. It's a sad fact that we are often more polite to strangers than we are to the people we love the most. If your spouse is trying to talk to you, whether it's to find out what you want for dinner, to tell you about their day, or to discuss a problem in your marriage, give them the same courtesy you'd give a complete stranger, and LISTEN! Don't try to finish their sentences, don't try to solve their problems, and don't ever say, "I told you so!" Here's an especially apt poem, written by Ogden Nash:

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.

2. Communicate. It's important that you keep the lines of communication open. Especially when things go wrong. There are so many outside influences that can affect a marriage -- jobs, family, friends, hobbies, education, church. If you're suddenly not being able to spend time together, or you're fighting about money, it's especially important to talk about what's going on.

3. Go on a date. Couples who have been together for thirty, forty and even fifty years or more say that one of the things that has kept their marriage strong is going out on a "date" with their spouse on a regular basis. If money is tight, try taking a walk together, going to a dollar movie, or even to a drive-in. Spending quality "couple-time" helps to reinforce the special feelings that made you fall in love with each other in the first place.

4. Maintain a commitment to your marriage. This can be especially difficult today, but it's important that you put your marriage first. If you're committed to making your marriage a success, and you know that your partner shares your commitment, there's nothing that the two of you can't accomplish.

5. Agree on money matters early. Amazingly, many couples never discuss money except in the most superficial ways until after they're married. One of the leading causes of arguments in marriages is because of a difference in how money is handled in the couple. Before you walk down the isle, discuss your feelings about things like credit, paying bills and saving money. Talk about how you will pay expenses, and who will handle the money. Finding out after the fact that you have major differences is only going to lead to long term problems.

5. Create rituals and family traditions. Every successful couple has their own private rituals - things they do that has a special meaning just to them. So whether it's getting your spouse coffee every morning, a special touch that means "I love you", or creating couple signals for "Let's get out of here, or "No, I don't want to buy a timeshare for $95,000!" find your own. Remember some of your favorite childhood family traditions, and incorporate them or start new ones in your own couple. Someday, you'll look back on each time as a treasured memory.

7. Love and Respect. No matter what happens outside of your marriage, it's vital that you and your spouse always treat each other with love and respect. There are some simple rules that have worked for couples for the last 80 years that still apply today. They include: Never go to bed angry. Kiss each other every time you come home, or before going out. Say "I love you" every single day. Mind your manners, and say "Please" and "Thank-you". Do something for the one you love every day. Just because. Occasionally write love letters to each other. Laugh at his/her jokes, no matter how bad they are, or how often you've heard them. Don't sweat the little things. Try something new once in a while.

And you'll be one of the lucky few that have a truly happy marriage!

When Should You Marry ?

2006-02-23T18:20:00.000+07:00

Since the divorce rate is at an all time high many are asking when and if they should marry? It is interesting that at the beginning of the 20th Century men were in their late twenties before getting married.

In the early part of 1960 half of all girls in the USA were married by their twentieth birthday. Males were about two years older.

The 90's saw many getting married while still in their teen years. This no doubt accounts at least in-part for the high percentage of divorces. The national statistics reveal that teenage marriages are the most unstable with the highest chance of divorce. Many of them marry out of emotional impulse and pre-marital pregnancies which lead to a higher risk of divorce.

At the present time those entering into wedlock are taking longer to decide about marriage. However, some are attempting a trial habitation to see if it might work.

When are you ready for marriage and how do you know if proper preparation has been taken for a successful marriage? There is no absolutely guarantee for success...

There are at least 3 areas to consider in determining if you are properly prepared for a life long commitment.

Maturity

You should be mature enough to take on the personal responsibilities of a family. Granted this may be some what subjective, but there are ways to measure the maturity level. If you are not sure what those responsibilities are, or even if you do know, it is advantageous to speak with someone who is well capable of addressing the responsibilities of a couple.

Studies have indicated that the best age to enter marriage is early to mid-twenties. This is the age that most men are either out of school or have performed their military service to their country. Likewise the women are out of school by this age as well. At this particular time most have had their share of dating experiences and desire to begin the process of settling down.

At the same time, however, chronological age is not necessarily proof that one is mature. Women seem to mature earlier than men, but that is not always the case. There are many factors in a persons background that either enhances their maturity or retard it. Therefore, each person has to be considered separatley.

You should, however, evaluate not only your own life, but your potential partner as well. Do not leave the evaluation process up to someone else. You do the evaluating. You may want someone's advice, but you must have your eyes "wide open".

What are you looking for in your evaluation? Start with the reasoning behind getting married. Why do you both want to be married? It is not enough to say that you love each other. Wouldn't you assume that most people who are now divorced would have said they loved each other in the beginning? Not all of course, but most "fall" in love and get married.

Look deeper than the love aspect! Are there clues of immaturity such as: wanting to be out of the parent's authority; desiring a sexual relationship; escaping educational responsibilities; etc. These may be good reasons for marriage, but more often than not, they are poor reasons.

The emotional aspect of love is very fickle. It comes and goes, so look for intellectual reasons for getting married. Do you both complement one another with your strengths and weaknesses? Do you both have the same type of objectives in life? Do you enjoy participating in similar events?

Educational

Have you both completed your education? This is a judgment call whether you should have it completed prior to marriage. It may be beneficial to have it completed so you are able to focus on your studies and extra-curricular activities.

There also may be less resentment if both partners have their education completed. Many times the wife drops out of college to put her husband through school, then, she never gets back to her own educational goals. Once the dust settles (her husband is in his career, children are all in school) regret, anger, and resentment begin to knock on the wife's heart.

Financial

Not everyone is able to be financially independent at the time of marriage, but financial stability is a good place to begin a marriage. If you are deeply indebt or do not have a reliable occupation it may behoove you to postpone the ceremony a bit longer.

Can 'Mixed' Marriages Work ?

2006-02-23T18:17:00.000+07:00

As society becomes culturally intertwined, it becomes more common to see marriages between individuals of different racial background. How are these marriages surviving and even flourishing?

In some countries the prejudice and stigma are so great that couples who become involved romantically with an individual of another race may find the pressures of family and society become too overwhelming to resist. In other countries, a general level of tolerance leads many to consider mixed relationships, but an undercurrent of bias deters them from marriage. It is a fortunate group who find the level of acceptance in their society means that their marriage is rarely, if ever, marred by prejudicial onlookers.

It is a sad fact that intolerance has become part of human nature, but individuals who have found love in a different race have fought the challenges for hundreds of years. What does that mean for their marriages?

To comment on it from a purely secular viewpoint, it might be said that the fight to become a couple in the first place may well help a couple to create a bond together that is not easily broken by outside influence.

A couple who can outwardly show their abilities to see beyond the superficial may be better able to hazard the storms of marriage.

Is a mixed couple's marriage stronger than a non-mixed couple? NO. Many couples face trials which create a similar sense of 'us-against-the-world' - an outlook that may sound negative but which creates an environment of trust and reliability between the couple. It also fosters a feeling that they have fought together and can take on any obstacle as a team.

With the world becoming what some have termed a 'melting pot' of cultures, many couples find that aside from their outer appearance they share much of the same cultural background.

In marriages where there is a clear difference of traditions it could be noted that to marry outside of one's race would indicate a flexibility and strength of character which would smooth out many of the cultural distinctions. Perhaps a genuine interest and love of their mate's culture could also attribute to a healthy marriage.

Whatever the situation, in today's society, as many cultures are beginning to adopt a less respected view of marriage, it is wonderful to see couples who outwardly, or even privately, are able to stick together as one and fight off the intrusions that so often pull marriages apart.

Is Your Marriage on Auto-Pilot ?

2006-02-22T18:30:00.000+07:00

Is Your Marriage on Auto-Pilot ?

Ah...remember that honeymoon phase when you first fell in love? You may have even been in the lust and infatuation stage before you even realized you were in love. You felt giddy, smitten, and were walking on air. Your heart went pitter patter and your breath was shallow whenever you were around your honeypie. You were busy with work and responsibilities, but you would always catch up later. At this phase you wanted to spend all your waking hours with your sweetheart.

But then came love, then came marriage, then came Junior in the baby carriage. Suddenly, there are bills to pay; places to go, repairs to do and you’re just tired all the time. You relent with a sigh, “so this is marriage?!”

Whether you’ve been married 12 months or 12 years, it doesn’t have to mean the honeymoon is over. Think back to the effort you made initially when you were wooing your betrothed. You get what you give. If you give a humdrum effort day in and day out, that’s what you’ll get in return. If you give romance and spark, guess what? You’ll get the same in return?

Forgot how to do that? No worries. Here are ten suggestions to help jump start your hibernating marriage.

1. Drop off a cup of coffee and an apple to your spouse at work. Don’t stay; just say you appreciate the hard work and thought he/she might be ready for a break.

2. Place a note in the sole of his/her shoes “You’re my heart and sole”

3. When your spouse gets home from work have a picnic all prepared – in the bedroom. Picnic blanket spread across the bed, beverage of choice, shrimp, strawberries, bread. If the kids are around, have a pizza waiting for them and tell them that the parents need some time to discuss some things.

4. If you live in a winter climate, take your wife’s/husband’s clothes (assuming it’s not a suit or dress) and put them in the dryer first thing in the morning. Getting dressed into warm snuggly clothes in the dead of winter is a real treat.

5. Leave a love note in the purse or briefcase.

6. Participate in one of your spouse’s activities that you’d rather not. Go fishing with him, go to a play with her, walk the golf course with him, take her shopping – just try it. Even if it’s not the time of your life, the fact that you wanted to do something he/she enjoys will speak volumes.

7. Go for a walk and for gosh sakes, hold hands!

8. Have some sexy pictures taken of you. Even if you use your own digital camera in your spouse’s favorite outfit (or lack of one!) Most cameras are equipped with self timers. Leave it in the lunch box or have it waiting in the car with a note “meet me for lunch at noon at xxx”

9. Switch chores. If you don’t normally take out the trash, do it this week. If it’s usually her job to do laundry, just do a load.

10. Compliment your spouse often. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it, but there is always something positive you can say. Whether, “I appreciate you working hard every day for us.” Or “That dinner was fantastic” “That outfit makes you look really hot.” Whatever – so long as you’re sincere and you keep them coming!

Hopefully this has given you a start. Please give it some thought. Your random acts of kindness need not be time consuming nor expensive. Just remember, a little goes a long, long way!

10 Ways to Build Happy, Lasting Relationships

2006-02-14T17:50:00.000+07:00

1. The Power of Touch
When a child is ill, doctors will tell you that it is proven that a simple, loving
touch of a parent can quickly pull the child through a crisis. It is the same for
relationships. Playing with your mate’s hair, rubbing their hand, a soft kiss on
the neck, a soft pat on the leg or giving a gentle back rub will make a huge
difference in how your mate responds to you. When was the last time you
walked up to your mate for no reason and without saying a word, affectionately
placed a kiss on their neck? This is not in a sexual way, but an affectionate
way. There is a difference. The next time the two of you are sitting in the car,
at the grocery story, or standing in line at the theater, quietly reach over and
take their hand. Do not be surprised if you get a strange look of curiosity the
first time!

2. Schedule Time
Spending quality time together is crucial. This time can be with friends, dining
out, attending a sporting event, or cuddling together while watching a favorite
movie. The activity is not what is important but the fact that you are together,
doing something that you both enjoy. People have extremely busy schedules
and between work, family, the home, errands, and everything else going on,
finding time for your mate can be difficult. Just as you would schedule a
meeting on your calendar, show some courtesy in the relationship by
scheduling time with each other. Once the plan is in place, no backing out
unless you have some life and death emergency.

3. No Debates
If you know that you and your mate have proven differences in opinion on
certain subjects, avoid those subjects. As an example, if you are a Republican
and your mate is a Democrat, politics should probably be avoided. As the two
of you identify new topics that could cause a debate session, stop the
conversation before it even gets started.

4. Surprise
If you and your mate have scheduled some time for a Friday night dinner, put
together a surprise instead. For example, if your mate loves professional
wrestling, buy some tickets near the front or if they like concerts, purchase the
tickets ahead of time, getting the best seats possible. When Friday night
comes around, insist on driving and head toward the location where the event
is taking place. When asked where you are going, simply answer, “I have a
surprise for you. I know you love professional wrestling so I purchased two
great seats for tonight’s performance,” or “I know we had planned on going to
dinner, but I wanted to surprise you with something special. I purchased
tickets to see one of your favorite groups in concert.” The idea of you getting
the tickets for something THEY like and then keeping it as a special surprise will
touch the heart!

5. Re-establish Old Traditions
If you and your mate had a tradition of some kind when you first got together,
dust it off and breathe life back into it. Perhaps you met after work on Friday
at the local pub for a drink, washed your cars together every Saturday
morning, or attended church together on Sunday. Whatever it was, re-
establish the tradition.

6. Filler Talk
If you are married, especially with children, break out of the habit of talking
about nothing. Many times, families will be sitting around the dinner table and
the conversation consists of, “Do you like your carrots?”, or “I wonder what is
on TV tonight?” Instead, change your strategy to include real questions,
showing real interest. Replace the normal, “Did you have a good day at work?”
with “Tell me what you did at work today.” Even if you do not understand
everything being said, listen with interest. It is not that you are so much
interested in the work, but your mate’s life.

7. Dinner Party
Start a new tradition of hosting a dinner party every other month or two and
inviting several of you and your mate’s friends. Set up board games that
everyone will enjoy, have some light and lively music playing, and plan to have
a blast. Spending time with friends in this kind of setting is a great way to
reduce stress. When stress is low, couples get along better. This is a
wonderful way to interact with each other’s friends as a couple.

8. Lighten Up
Often when couples have gone through or are going through some bumpy spots
in their relationship, things tend to get serious. It could be that there is a
tremendous amount of tension or perhaps they are not sure what to say.
Regardless of the reason, learn to lighten up. Do not take every comment,
glance, or movement as a serious problem. If your mate makes a mistake,
which you both will, let it go, or if appropriate, laugh about it. If you make a
mistake, do not be afraid to poke fun at yourself. This will automatically start
the process of tension breaking.

9. Happy Birthday
As people grow older, in general, birthdays become less celebrated. Gifts are
quickly given, meals eaten, and it is over. For your mate’s next birthday, take
some time to plan something very special. Make this a true celebration of their
life as a way of showing your love and appreciation. Every person, even adults,
like attention and love to be appreciated. Whether a surprise party or not, your
mate will be impressed that you went to all the effort just for them.

10. A Night of Passion
Intimacy and passion in relationships is not only important but also healthy.
Couples need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. When relationships
are troubled, the last thing either person wants is to be sexual or passionate
with each other. However, this is a part of the healing and rebuilding of the
relationship and although it might be awkward in the beginning, it is crucial.
Make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a warm
bubble bath, lighted candles, soft music, and a bottle of wine, or reserve a nice
romantic evening at a local hotel to include a wonderful candlelit dinner, fine
wine, and a beautiful room.

How to start an online dating service business

2006-02-14T17:48:00.000+07:00

How to start an online dating service business

Making new friends and finding the person of your dreams is not as easy as it used to be. With the busy daily life of singles in the US, there is very little time for socialization outside of work.

Why is online dating service considered a profitable business? Here are some of the facts:

* Almost .5% of the US population is either single or divorced. The largest online dating websites have over 700,000 personal advertisements and profiles all enthusiastically searching for a partner. There have been thousands of marriages resulting from internet introduction.

* Internet-based dating services receive millions of dollars in revenue every year. There is guaranteed money in this business.

* Basic emotional needs are the easiest to sell. These needs include dating, love and romance. You will be paid by marketing romance to the increasing numbers of single web surfers.

If you are thinking of starting up your own online dating service business, here are four important factors to consider:

1) Online dating business plan: Organizing a plan would allow you to operate the business and ensure your company’s growth. A business plan is crucial for organizing and seeking potential clients. A business with development potential is always a safer investment than a business that settles for breaking even.

A plan would provide you with a clear view of your business’ future. It summarizes the company’s goals and provides your future staff with information that is vital to the daily function of your company.

2) Website management method. You should plan for a presentable and quality web design or hire the best web designer in the industry. Determine which web hosting service is the best and enroll in it. For your website to attract thousands of visitors, you would need web hosting that could accommodate all the traffic and database of your members. You could also consider being your own web host that would enable you to manage your own server.

3) Marketing and advertising. The online dating service would require a large amount of advertising money to be able to set your company apart from the thousands of other dating services in existence.

4) Financial plan. Organizing your financial plan would help you establish the budget necessary to cover your daily operating costs. This plan would also help your company to develop long-term financial goals.

If you have successfully achieved all of your plans necessary for the company to run, you could now start your own online dating service business and give the singles a chance to meet their dream partner.

The Ins and Outs of Online Dating

2006-02-10T16:53:00.000+07:00

The Ins and Outs of Online Dating

Dating online is a new medium and some studies have had higher success rates in getting that first date than the conventional method of going to a public place and meeting someone. The reason why there is a higher rate is because people only meet others who share the same interests.

This new method of interaction and hopefully meeting the right person has its advantages and disadvantages.

1.Security

The advantage of personally signing up on an online dating service is that the person can meet many people without the risk of revealing one’s personal information. The only time this happens is when the searcher does it voluntarily to the potential partner.

The disadvantage here is that information, even in general, can be fabricated. Some sites don’t have a place on the page to show the picture of the person and even it is available, people don’t put up a picture and can pretend to be someone and prey on an innocent victim.

2.Affordable

By paying a small membership fee and being a member of an online dating service, a person will be able to save money by quickly finding someone who shares the same interest.

The disadvantage here is that though the person may save some money in the short term, it does not guarantee the date will work and the person has to search again. The match making service simply delayed the inevitable spending more money rather than saving.

3.Broad Market

Dating online allows one to meet people from other cities or even other states. It helps a person make new friends and even build up a network that can even be used for other functions such as business.

The disadvantage of finding love through online dating is that given the distance, one of the people has to make the important decision to relocate to be together leaving friends and family behind.

4. Customer base

The dating service helps people who have a hard time finding the ideal person in life by having a huge membership base giving a wide range of people to choose from.

The problem here is that eventually the number of people will decrease since other matches will happen. If one does not act quickly, one will miss the right person to someone else.

Online dating can be fun, whether to meet new friends or meet that potential partner. This match making service using the computer is for young and old just remember there are no guarantees. It is still a gamble one must take in reaching that goal of finding a soul mate.

How Your Profile Will Benefit Your Online Dating Success

2006-02-10T16:43:00.000+07:00

Profile 101: Why Should Somebody Go to All the Trouble of Creating a Profile ?

Online dating is so prevalent nowadays. Every year, more and more people go online just for the dating services. In fact, almost 40 million people in the United States were reported to have used online dating services in 2003.

Membership is increasing at an unprecedented rate.

However, there are still people who complain about not getting the desired result they had been looking for in online dating services.

The reason? It’s in the profile. Many people don’t realize it’s their profile that really matters.

Why ? Here’s why profiles are important for successful online dating.

1. First impressions last

Even if it sounds like a cliché it is true that first impressions really matter a lot. they often create a lasting impression on the other person. Therefore, it’s best for you to project a good first impression by creating a profile worth reading.

2. It’s the only solid information one can get hold of.

Information stated in somebody’s profiles is the only solid data the other person can get hold of. So it’s best for you to give your prospective date as much information about yourself as possible, without endangering yourself.

3. Photographs can speak a thousand words but are not enough.

Contrary to most popular beliefs, pictures alone cannot reveal an individual’s personality. It may give some information, but lacks that which most people are trying to find out.

4. Great profiles improve the chances of meeting somebody who is really interested in you.

If a person likes you based on the profiles given, chances are they'll be compatible because they can relate to your interests.

Hence, finding someone based on compatibility all depends on your profile.

So, for people to get positive results in online dating, it’s best to maintain a profile that sounds and looks as good as the person who owns it. If this is the case, then, online dating can give a person some things more than the gratifications he or she longs to have.

Online Dating Services Sites

2006-02-09T18:01:00.000+07:00

Online Dating Services Sites: Which is Which ?

Online dating services are thriving after almost 10 years. Some people might succeed in finding Mr. or Ms. Right through them. Some might not. But for those who still have not lost hope in finding that special person through these services, here are the top online dating services.

MatchMaker.com, with a monthly rate of $8.33 to $19.95, has an approximate number of 8 million members and communication is carried out either through IM or e-mail. Reviews have it that MatchMaker is one of the best online services. It boasts of two major features: a.) user-friendly site and b.) One of the most comprehensive profiles online. The profiling consists of an extensive questionnaire and an optional essay.

YahooPersonals has a monthly rate of $7.50 to $19.95 and has more than 5 million members. IM and e-mail is the form of communication with this online dating service. It is loved for its refined search engine. Categories such as living area, age and interests can be used to improve the search process. YahooPersonals has this Premier version that offers a more in-depth profile for those in search of more than casual dating.

DreamDates.com has a monthly rate of $9 to $24.95 and 3.5 million members. Members' interaction is supported by chat, IM, e-mail, and voice. DreamDates offers a better communication option of allowing members to talk to each other. It is available in two versions - a Romance membership or an Erotica option.

AmericanSingles.com is available for the monthly fee of $16.50 to 24.95. Its more than 10 million members communicate through IM, e-mail or chat. If you are interested in allowing communication with a person who has shown interest, but are not totally at ease with them, with American Singles, you can remain anonymous. This service has a "Tease" message feature, which is a fun and non-committal way of getting in touch with members you find attractive.

Match.com has a monthly membership fee of $9.95 - 24.95. Its 15 million members communicate through e-mail or chat. It takes pride in its user-friendly website that offers side-by-side comparisons of each others requirements to facilitate the "search."

With all this information about various online dating services sites, your search for "the one" will be made easier. Good luck!

Searching for Ms. Right online

2006-02-09T17:55:00.000+07:00

Searching for Ms. Right online

Finally, after several failed match-ups in your online dates, you've met somebody that you think is the "Ms. Right" for you. She agreed to have a date with you. This is your chance to show "Ms. Right" that you are "Mr. Right" for her.

Here are some ways to guide you on your date to make her think you are the perfect one for her.

1. Take a Shower or Bath.

You want "Ms. Right" to see the best in you? Then don't come unshaven, dirty-looking, and smelling. Women will instantly judge you based on your hygiene. After all, you wouldn't want to see her looking dirty and unkempt would you?

2. Arrive on Time.

Arriving late will make her feel umimportant and hurt.

3. Give "Ms. Right" a Gift.

On your first date, bring her a gift that would speak well of your intentions. It should show not only that you are generous, but that she is special to you. But don't go overboard. She might think that you are buying her love.

4. Prove that you are a gentleman.

Open the doors for her. Pull her chair out when you are in a restaurant or café.

5. Compliment Her.

Give her compliments, but do not be insincere. She will sense if you don't mean what you say. If she looks nice in that red dress, tell her. If she looks radiant and pretty on your date, tell her.

6. Make conversation with her.

Try to converse with her, but do not let yourself hog the conversation. Make an otherwise nervous and exciting situation into a lively one by chatting. Hear what she wants to say.

8. Pay for your bill.
It is just gentlemanly to pay for the date. However, if she insists that you go "dutch", then agree graciously. To avoid an awkward situation, imply to her earlier that you are planning to pay for the date.

9. Follow-up Calls.

If you really think she is "Ms. Right" for you and you need to date her again, say that you intend calling her again. But, if you feel she is not the right one for you, don't make a promise and then have to break it.

Finding "Ms. Right" might be easy, but you have to show that you are "Mr. Right" for her. With these tips, you can never go wrong.

Adult Dating Services

2006-02-09T17:53:00.000+07:00

Mature Fun from Adult Dating Services

Modern technology gave new dimension to the ever elusive adult dating scene. Now, adult dating services abound for those who dislike the nitty-gritty and dating "procedures and stages". These dating services also make less confident people more assertive through the initial "faceless" communication.

They offer fun activities for those looking for friends, activity partners, and lovers.

Here are a few of the best sites in the field of adult dating.

American Singles
It claims to jumpstart one's love life. It is one of those adult dating services that allow the posting of a profile and uploading a picture. Matchmaking is made through setting up its members with those who match their profiles.

eHarmony
It is another adult dating service that caters to those who are searching for friends and life partners. It takes pride on its innovative profile matching system. It boasts of its 29 key dimensions that predict in-depth compatibility and more successful relationships.

Venusrooms.com
It is also an adult dating service that claims its being one of the world's leading online dating sites. It is for those who live in UK and USA. It is also a free. Its features include dating profiles with picture galleries, video dating profiles, an online dating chat program, friends list, adult dating ratings, e-mail alerts, etc.

Tickle
It is an adult dating service that uses personality and IQ tests to facilitate the matchmaking process. Members of Tickle are often with college education, professional and those who reside in large cities.

Are you ready for adult fun or simply looking for less teeny-bopper kind of dating style? Then, choose from the wide array of adult dating services.

Who knows. . .one could even deliver your Mr. and Ms. Right to your door step.

Online Dating Services

2006-02-09T17:49:00.000+07:00

Why are Online Dating Services so Popular ?

History has it that online dating services were once considered to be a ghoulish idea. Many people feel it is an unsafe way to find a date.

However, as information technology increasess, many people are more at ease in using online dating services to find the love of their life.

Most people also find online dating services a viable means of getting more dates than they do in other place. In fact, statistics show that 52% of the Americans say they have a better chance of meeting and dating other people through online dating services than at a single’s bar.

Moreover, according to the Ipsos-Reid Poll, four out of ten people who were interviewed think that it is better to instigate a relationship through an online dating service and that they have a greater chance of success, than those who started in the single’s bar.
So, for people who still want to know the benefits of online dating services, here’s a list of the known reasons why people utilize online dating services.

1. Variety of choices

Many people are finding online dating services offer a variety of choices. In fact, there are more singles who are involved in online dating services than most people have thought. Hence, people get to review a lot of profiles before eventually choosing one.

Moreover, most people contend that they find the profiles very useful before they start to date the person.

2. Secrecy

You may remain anonymous for as long as you want to. That is why loading pictures on your profile is not mandatory. You even have complete control on whether or not you want to disclose your e-mail address, age, or any other personal information. Thus, you can freely browse on the different people without being known yourself.

3. Security

Members of online dating services have their personal information secured. You can be assured that no information will be disclosed to other people without your consent.

Moreover, if a certain member of an online dating service should cause trouble, you can immediately request the online dating service to block the person or revoke the membership.

Indeed, online dating services are the modern world’s new way of getting dates and eventually love.

Online Dating : Safety Really Counts

2006-02-08T17:59:00.000+07:00

Online Dating: Safety Really Counts

Since its inception, online dating services have gained remarkable popularity in the Internet world. In fact, almost 40 million American singles try online dating sites to find romance.

However it is still best to observe safety measure when dating online. With millions of strangers out there, an individual will never know if the person they are about to date is 100% harmless.

Here are some safe dating tips for people who are into online dating :

1. Anonymity

Even if you're already eyeing the profile of somebody that you particularly like, it is still best not to divulge any personal information like e-mail address, home address, contact number, or any pertinent information that would reveal your true identity.

2. Honest profiles

Being honest does not necessarily mean revealing personal information immediately. Being honest with one’s profile means simply being true to one’s self. It’s best not to create a dishonest profile or to display a fake picture. At the least this will disappoint others and waste their time if they find you are not what they wanted after all.

3. Pressure measure

It would be safer not to meet somebody who pressures you to meet immediately. It could mean a lot of things that might not be favorable to you.

4. Inconsistency

Be wary of people who are inconsistent with their profile information. They may not be telling the truth about themselves.

5. If somebody seems to be depressed, it would be better to stop all contacting with them.

Uneasiness is a good indicator if something is likely to get out of hand. If you feel uneasy or uncomfortable about any relationship, stop communication immediately.

All of these things boil down to the fact that safety on online dating starts with you. Set certain safety rules for yourself and stick to them. No-one can give you better protection than you yourself.

How To Flirt Online Dating

2006-02-08T17:57:00.000+07:00

Mastering the Art of Online Flirting

Online dating is an excellent way of meeting new people and expanding your dating pool. For some, it is also a great way for getting back on the dating scene again. Though online dating sites are often stereotyped as an arena for the desperate, they are actually an effective venue for singles who are interested in meeting others.

Most people who engage in online dating lead busy lives and do not have time to indulge in social activities. Others turn to online dating to widen their social horizons or simply to have a fresh start. But whatever their reasons, online dating is a proven way for social renewal.

Dating, in general goes hand in hand with flirting. For those who wonder if they can master the art of online flirting, of course you can! All you need to do is learn all about the different online flirting approaches, and you are on your way to a successful online dating experience.

Online dating is usually carried on through live chat or electronic mail. In your communications, always keep it short, simple and sweet. Stick to light-hearted and upbeat tones in your conversation. This is proven to attract online dates. Use easy to answer questions, and in return make your responses simple.

In writing correspondence, always use screen names. Emoticons may also be annoying when overdone or may sound too giddy or insincere.

Use humor as your ally, but of course remember to use it in good taste. Deliver with confidence; dates will definitely pick that up.

Compliment your date. Everyone likes to be complimented. The best compliments are those with the element of surprise. Keep your compliments sincere, honest, and genuine. And when you receive a compliment yourself, the best response would be to simply say, "Thank You!"

A great online flirting tip is to use "enticers" in your email communications. You may want to try the tried and
tested pick-up lines or devise your own. Try to keep them light and inviting so as not to sound predatory. The key is to sound cute, interested and above all sincere. This will help ignite spark in your emails and will surely get you that much-coveted first date.

Simply hold on to these simple to follow steps and helpful online flirting tips, and with proper timing, you are off to a being a top online flirter.

Good luck!

What Kinds of Online Dating Services Are Available

2006-02-08T17:55:00.000+07:00

What Kinds of Online Dating Services Are Available & Online Dating Site Reviews

Nowadays, there are so many types of online dating services to choose from that it's so easy to get confused about the various sites. But if you are serious about finding your potential soulmate take the time to find out about the various services that are being offered online. This way, you can choose exactly the type of service that works for them. This will increase your chances of finding your potential soulmate.

One of the most popular services available are online dating services that match your profile with other members of the same interests and specifications.

Here are some of the most highly rated online dating services.

Yahoo Personals - For a monthly subscription payment of $7.50-$19.95, (they offer premium services). Members can create their own profiles with pictures included, that they can then share with this online community of date seekers. Members can also communicate via Email, and IM. Yahoo personals have over 5 million members, and is one of the leading contenders in its field.

Dream Date - Has a membership of over 3.5 million. One of the exciting features that this online dating service offers is that its members can communicate with each other through voice chat. It also has text messaging, IM, and offers Email correspondence. In addition to the normal romance affiliation, it also offers its members an erotica section. All of these services are offered for the cost of $9.00-$24.95 a month.

Perfect Match - Perfect match is an online dating site created by the leading online dating authorities who pioneered kiss.com, which is one of the original online dating services. It has over 2 million members. It offers a scientific inspired approach to match making.

LoveAccess.com - This site is a step up from other online dating services because it offers its members the choice to include a video message in their profiles! Members can take advantage of its text messaging, Email, and IM. The best thing of all is that all of these services are offered for free. Individuals who choose to sign up must create a basic profile, and write a couple of essays. First, an essay that describes themselves, and another one that describe the type of person they want to meet. Those who want to avail of their more advanced features can upgrade their account. Upgraded accounts offer: IM that includes a video webcam, initiating conversations, and an access to same sex and straight profiles.

Match.com - This online dating site is a must for all serious online daters! This is top on almost all of the online dating reviewers' list. It has a high success rate of matching people together. This site offers individuals a free trial that allow casual viewers 3 days of full access; but it does require participants to show a credit card before they can avail of the free access. Members are asked to create a profile, and post an add that includes one or two pictures. They can also add video greetings, and look through the profiles using their mobile phones. This site also provides a column that offers relationship advice, dating tips and so much more! This site has over 15 million members in 32 different countries.

Another way for singles to meet people on the internet is to post personals. This is different from a Yahoo personal ad, in a sense that individuals don't need to join a community. These 'personals' appear everywhere. Most online lifestyle magazines have a personals section included in their site. These are just pop-ups that randomly appear on the side of the page. It displays an individual's profile, picture, and contact number. If any person who happens to be browsing through that online magazine happen to be interested, all he or she would have to do is click on the personal. Then they'd find out more information about that person. The majority of mainstream online magazines that can be found on the net carry a 'personals' section on their website.

There are so many online dating services that are available nowadays, that individuals who are looking to partake now have a choice of selecting just the right online dating service that works for them, and provides for their needs. Thanks to the endless demand of people who embrace this new trend in dating. Now individuals who are looking to find love have a better chance than ever!

Dating Tests

2006-02-07T17:07:00.000+07:00

Are Online Dating Tests Reliable?

Nowadays, more and more people are finding online dating a remarkable way of gaining new friends, companions, or partners. As it grows at breakneck speed, the online dating industry has devised a service for their members and even non-members. Many online dating sites are offering the so-called online dating test.

Most of these online dating tests are about personality and compatibility. They range from the simple to most complex questions but all are designed to give people the results that might help them with their online dates.

However, even if it gained tremendous popularity, many experts contend that online dating tests are not that reliable. In fact, many psychologists contend that the reliability and efficiency of online dating tests is less than 50%. So when the results of an online dating test concerning eg, compatibility, state that two people are compatible, chances are it's only half true.

Why Were These Tests Created?

Because of the unprecedented growth of online dating and the increasing demand for matchmaking, most of the online dating industry has come up with the concept of online dating tests in order to help with a better match. Hence, different online dating tests like personality and compatibility tests have been invented.

Psychologists have asserted that when a person tried to access online dating tests and answered some questions, chances are, his or her answers will be affected by many outside factors such as feelings, attitude, mood, and context. This means that there are possibilities wherein a person may have two different answers on one given question if it was asked on two different occasions.

For example, if an individual completes a dating test while feeling low or depressed, their results will be different from when they completed the same test while in a happy mood.

Some psychologists explain that the reason for these discrepancies is that the Internet-based online dating test are only through self-evaluation and are not guided by reliable psychological assessment, which usually are done in clinical conditions.

Therefore, for people who are fond of answering online dating tests, there’s no problem. The problem arises if it will be the basis of something serious like marriage.

So these tests, while amusing, should never be used by people in making decisions about love and relationship.

Bad Date Survival Tips

2006-02-07T17:06:00.000+07:00

Bad Date Survival Tips

Occasionally, a bad date happens to one person at a certain point in his or her life. One should do some assessment before writing off the person for life. No sparks at all? Too nervous to open any topic? Is he or she being rude? Here are some things that you can do.

How to deal with a bad date

1. If you are feeling too nervous, opt for a date over coffee. You will have less time fidgeting due too overnervousness since after finishing your coffee you can easily bid your date a quick "ta-ta".

2. There is no excuse for a date who is obnoxious and rude. Walk away Renee.

3. You and your date are not on the same wavelength? Endure the date, maintain your composure and leave politely. If your date asks for an extension, say an after meal drink, you can always politely (again) say no.

4. If you unintentionally insult your date, simply apologize then move on. If your insult is not that severe, your date might just forgive and forget.

5. Never provide entertainment at your own expense. Humor is cool, putting yourself down is not. It is not worth it to make your self feel uncomfortable trying to impress your date.

How to move on?

1. Don't punish yourself for a date that went horrible, commend yourself for getting through it. Shrug it off, learn from it and then put it out of your mind.

2. Share the details with a friend. This way you can treat it as more of a joke than something that will haunt you for life.

3. Get occupied with other activities so you can forgive yourself and forget about the bad date. Exercising, eating something sweet or watching a movie will make the bad vibes go away sooner than you expect.

4. Honesty and kindness are a good combination when it comes to turning down a bad date who would like a second round. Say something a bit blunt but peppered with some praise -- is that an oxymoron?

5. Now, if you think that the person still deserves a second chance, by all means, give him or her the second try. You can always laugh the bad date incident away when you are more comfortable with each other.

Dating do's and don'ts

2006-02-07T17:05:00.000+07:00

Dating do's and don'ts

Some Tips on How to Play Your Cards in the Dating Game

Those who are single and searching can almost never get enough of searching the Internet for how to make the best out of their first, second, third or umpteenth date. However, these few tips will bring you close to becoming one ideal date or someone who can battle it out with any kind of date, good or bad.

1. Don't ask these stupid questions.

How's the date going?
Why are you quiet?
Did I do anything wrong?

If you find yourself thinking along these lines, assume the date is not going well.

2. Do get active. Consider a concert, art exhibit or a street fair. Or, if you are both into more physical activities like rollerblading and ice skating, by all means, do so. However, if you are doing anything that will make you sweat, don't forget to bring your deodorant.

3. Don't wear anything suggestive or inappropriate. You don't want to distract your date with your plunging neckline or micro-mini skirt. Save those outfits for your 3rd or 4th date. Prioritize comfort when it comes to your clothing. Anything too fancy will make your date think that you're trying too hard or are overly high-maintenance, which are both big turn-offs.

4. Don't open any conversation regarding your past relationship or any topic related to sex. Spouting anything about marriage is a big no-no too.

5. Don't ogle other people.

Eyeballing other men or women while on a date is utterly disrespectful. How would you feel if your date ogled others?

6. Do keep your cell phone turned off.

Nothing is be more annoying than a person attending to phone calls every other minute while on a date.

7. Do leave politely.

If your date is being rude or obnoxious, you have the right to leave. However, do it politely. You should not stoop to his or her level.

Now you are less clueless when it comes to the dating game. Good luck!

Learn Blind Date Tips

2006-02-07T17:04:00.000+07:00

Don't Be Blind - Learn Blind Date Tips

There is no need for a person swear off of blind dates forever just because one didn’t work out well. Here are some tips on how to prevent a blind date from becoming a disaster.

1. Snoop around a bit.

Don't go to a blind date without having any hint as to what kind of person you are about to entrust your one evening with. A little bit of planning will go a long way toward having a successful blind date. Talk on the phone. Email each other. Do those mild background checking techniques that will make you less worried when the actual date happens.

2. Go for a casual date. It is never cool to plan like you are about to make a marriage proposal when you are just about to go to a blind date. A cozy café or park that allows lots of conversation and exchange of ideas will do the trick.

3. First impressions last forever. Blind dates should be informal. However, that doesn't mean you are allowed to show up in your gym clothes. Overdressing is overkill, too. Women, any suggestive outfit should be saved for your fifth or sixth date if you click. Men, keep your bowties and suits reserved for your wedding. It would be wise to show your personal taste as long as you strike a good balance.

4. Know your manners.

A blind date could still go bad no matter how you prepare for it. It is just the way of nature telling you that the chemistry is just not there. But the lack of spark during the first date does not necessarily translate to never clicking with the person. It could be that it is just a bad day for the two of you or the weather is simply not cooperating. Keeping an open mind will avoid you from sulking about how bad your date went. Don't forget to respect your date as you would like to be respected. Don't be too rigid, have fun.

How to avoid online dating risks

2006-02-03T19:10:00.000+07:00

How to avoid online dating risks

Online dating has become a popular service nowadays. In fact, many people worldwide, are members of various online dating services.

While online dating services have benefits, there are some serious drawbacks too. The most important concern is your safety. How can you know whether that otherwise sweet and loving chat mate of yours you meet in an online service is a rapist or stalker?
Like traditional dating, online dating has some risks. To avoid danger, consider the following tips.

1. In your profile, it is good not to include detailed personal information, such as your personal home address, job address, telephone number, or email address. Dating sites, especially the reputable ones, make sure that all their members are safe. Some do it by checking the criminal records of their members, some by automatically deleting any detailed information in your personal profile.

2. It would be good if you know more about the person you just met online before giving him or her any personal information. Take some time in getting to know him or her first before setting up a date.

3. Don't put false information in your profile or a fake photograph. If you want people to be honest with you too, be genuine in your information. Honesty is the best policy. A cliché, yes; but it works in online dating.

4. It might be good to have an email account set up in fee email sites like Yahoo or Hotmail. Give this email address to online users who want to have your email, instead of your main email address. If you don't want a person to contact you again, then at least your main email address is safe and free from his or her emails.

5. Be careful of people who:

- Want to meet up with you instantly and pressure you to do so.

- Bug you to give your personal contact details when they themselves don't want to give you their personal contact information.

- Are not consistent in giving you information about their martial status, age, employment.

- Avoid answering questions that are too personal.

6. If somebody is bothering you already, stop sending him or her messages immediately.

Online dating is fun, but you have to be aware that it also has safety risks as well.

Dating Ideas For the Clueless

2006-02-03T19:06:00.000+07:00

Dating Ideas For the Clueless

First dates never cease to be the one of the most thrilling events in one's life. However, dating can become boring if one allows it to be. Here are a few great dating ideas that will make your time interesting.

1. Island Picnic

If you have the moolah, you can always get travel arrangements and head to a deserted island. A simple picnic on a not-so simple island will give your dating life that spark you have been waiting for. This will be very much appreciated by married couples as well.

2. Food Tripping Date

You don't have to spend so much if you only going to fast food chains. But it is a lot more fun to go restaurant-hopping to sample each restaurant's specialties. Don't forget to skip some food before doing this kind of date, or you'll end up overweight.

3. Wine Sampling

This could be more enjoyable if you are in a European country where all sorts of wines abound. However, many private wineries are springing up all over the place. Do your homework and see if you can find a local winery close to your location. Just make sure that you are not alcohol-intolerant to enjoy this dating idea.

4. Learn Something New

Learning a new skill could be handy. Learning a new skill with someone else is a surefire way to conjure an exciting mood during the date.

5. Window Shopping

Who says only women could enjoy this kind of date? Even if it is not a first date, as long as the guy also gets to go to the stores he likes visiting, it could be one fun time for the both of you. Also, it can make you both learn each others preferences when it comes to material things.

6. Truth or Dare Date

Pick a place to go to. Then while heading to that area, you can have fun learning about each other's secrets while playing truth or dare.

7. Sports Date

Go hiking, golfing, mountain-climbing or just about anything that makes you both tick. This is one of those feel-good date ideas since sports induce the production of that body chemical that makes you feel good.

With these ideas, you will never run out of new and enthralling activities to do. Just be creative.

What Questions Should You Be Sure to ask your Online Dating E-friend?

2006-02-03T19:03:00.000+07:00

What Questions Should You Be Sure to ask your Online Dating E-friend?

Online dating can be very entertaining and gratifying.

Since its inception, online dating has continuously brought people together even though they may be worlds apart. Online dating makes bridges to connect people together, enjoy each other, and build dreams together.

However, it's not always possible to instantly find somebody with whom to share the rest of your life with.

Online dating is a continuous, systematic process. It entails careful selection of words, pictures, and representations of the person involved in order to get the best results. Moreover, from the time you first find someone you think you could be interested in, remember the process will continue as you both get to know each other through a series of messages, chats, and other forms of communication.

Along with this comes the careful selection of words used and messages conveyed in order to establish natural, free-flowing, yet enlightening conversations. These are not just mere exchange of words and phrases but a way of getting to know each other.

Hence, it is extremely important to know which questions to ask so that you can get a better sense of who the other person is on the other side of the virtual screen.

Here are some of the questions that you should ask your e-friend in order to assess their personality and attitude. These questions will help to provide the necessary information regarding an individual’s personal convictions and preferences.

Those who are involved in online dating just have to keep in mind that when asking these questions, they should make it appear very natural so that they will not sound like they are being confrontational.

In addition, be sure that you are also prepared to answer the same.

1. What is the major error that people make when dating online for the first time?

This question will illustrate some idea about how the other person views the opposite sex. In this way, one could get an insight on the attitude of the other person and his or her personal beliefs on some important matters like dating and relationships.

2. What are you looking for in a guy/girl?

With this question, an individual can get hold of the qualities that the other person is looking for in a companion.

However, one should take note of how the other person tries to answer the question. If the reply is passed off with a joke or some other attempt at humor chances are they have not yet thought about the answer.

3. What is a really successful relationship ?

One could get a good view on how the other person values relationship. It would be better to hear the other person provide an answer regarding how the two persons who are involved in the relationship should work together as they grow.

4. What is your view on online dating services ?

Through this question, a person will be able to know if the other person had some serious negative experience concerning online dating or the other way around. In addition, through the answers of the other person, one could guess if he or she is still willing to consider online dating or not.

5. Did you fail on your last relationship ?

Most people would certainly blame the other person in the relationship. Others blame themselves too much. It would be better to hear some answers like they (the couple) equally share the blame and that it is just time to part ways.

The point in asking these questions is to establish a solid foundation by finding out the kind of personality and attitude the other person has. Keeping communication open is what matters most.

The problem with a lot of people involved in online dating is that most of them do not have any idea how to carry the conversation. They do not know what questions to ask and how to assess the answers that they get.

Remember that asking some reliable questions will give you an edge and you'll be more confident when the time comes to meet in person.

Advice for That First Date

2006-02-03T19:02:00.000+07:00

First Impression: Advice for That First Date

First dates are tough situations. Often they can end up being painfully awkward. So what do you do?

Here is a list of dating tips to help you and your date get started on the right foot:

- Try not to meet at each other's houses and try to drive yourself. This is so that if you want to end the date early, you won't be trapped. This also helps avoid the impulse to invite your date in. Also, having your own car means you don't have to worry about your safety; your date won't know where you live and this avoids a date turning into some bad stalking nightmare.

- Try to keep the date as simple as possible. First dates can bring on jittery nerves. Jittery nerves and complicated plans do not mix. Just make it easy and enjoyable.

- Men, try ending the date first and do it politely, though make sure that you show you're interested. This will make you stand out.

- Women, don't wear anything provocative or too sexy. This sounds like an old cliché but first impressions last. Your date won't know anything about you except for how you look and how you behave. He will take you at face value and giving him the wrong impression on what sort of person you are is not something you want to do.

- Try and wear clothing that makes you confident and that you are comfortable wearing. It will be uncomfortable enough without worrying about that tightness around your waist or the itchy necktie.

- Men, try to be specific about where you are going for the date. This will make the entire affair more comfortable and it prepares your date for what to expect and what to wear. Wearing a cocktail dress to a fast food joint is definitely out!

- Ask your date about himself/herself. A healthy interest in getting to know your date is a good sign to show. This means that you want to learn about and think of your date as an interesting person. Remember, the most interesting conversationalists are those who ask about others. Great topics are work, hobbies and sports. Just keep it light and conversational.

- Try not to overdo the perfume or the cologne. Too strong and the scent can be quite distracting. It's very hard to complete an evening out if your date is dazed by the smell.

- Mouthwash is important. Also, brush your teeth and bring a couple of mints if you're eating out.

- And always remember... have fun and be yourself!

Some guidelines to online dating

2006-02-03T19:00:00.000+07:00

Some guidelines to online dating

Online dating is fun. You could meet new friends and expand your social circle. Better yet, you might have the match you have been looking for.

If you haven’t tried online dating, there are some things you could keep in mind.

1. Start slow

Try searching on reputable online dating sites. You should look out for someone who is too good to be true on the first time. You should trust your instincts.

2. Protect yourself

You should not reveal your true identity until you feel comfortable about doing so. Do not instantly give your full name, contact numbers, home address, and other details where others can check your profile.

3. Exercise common sense and caution

Practice caution in easily trusting other people. Use common sense in making decisions. Take your time in determining the person’s integrity and motives. Pay attention every time you communicate.

4. Ask for a photo

Ask for a photo of a prospective match, not just because you want to see if they are good-looking. If possible, ask for several photos in different settings: Formal, casual, outdoors, and indoors. In that way you would have an idea of what he or she looks like.

5. Do not just chat via online

An electronic chat would not suffice. Talk via the telephone to assess the social and communication skills of your date. Avoid calling from home. Try calling from a cell phone or a telephone booth. Only when you are completely comfortable should you give your home number.

6. Meet only when you are completely ready

Meet only when you feel secure and ready to meet your online date. Do not feel obliged or persuaded to meet the other person even if he or she insists, if you are not yet ready.

7. Check for danger

If you decided to finally meet, pay close attention to any violent displays, intense frustration, or moves to control or pressure you.

8. Meet only in a secure place

When meeting your date, especially for the first time, meet him or her in a safe place. Tell a friend who your date is and your plans for the night. Set a time during your date where your friend can call you and ask if everything is okay.

It is better to be safe than sorry. Online dating has some perks, but it also has its pitfalls.

Advantages of being truthful to your online date

2006-01-30T18:36:00.000+07:00

Advantages of being truthful to your online date

Think you found someone who might be your next serious partner online? The long nights you spend chatting and sending each other private e-mails can really make your heart skip a beat. When you finally set a date to meet each other, are you sure you are confident enough? Or will you fret because you told your online date that you are six two instead of five three in height?

Honesty is very important in any relationship. Read over these advantages of being truthful to your online date.

*Get more people to check out your profile
Not even a psychologist would know if what you have in your profile is really true. Fill out your profile with an honest detailed description of yourself. Sprinkle it with a little humor about your yet- to- improve qualities and you’re guaranteed that someone will message you in a matter of minutes. The key is to turn your flaws into something funny and forgiving.

*Get a good first impression
A good first impression would mean that your date finds exactly what you told them they would find. When you tell your online date the truth about your physical attributes, you can count on a second date.

*Lying requires a lot of thinking
Lying requires more brain activity. It would be obvious you’re lying if it takes you five to ten seconds to answer a simple question such as, Are you fat?

*Gain his/ her trust
Friendships built on sincerity are more likely to turn into a serious relationship. Trust is just as important as love and respect. Being truthful to your online date makes its easier for her to trust her heart to you.

*Strengthen your confidence
Being true to your self shows how you respect your identity. Knowing your challenges and improving your personality will attract others to you and you'll find they like you as you like yourself.

*Be less burdened
Don’t be pressured if an online date doesn’t have the same hobbies that you have. It doesn’t matter if she likes rock music and you like country music. As long as you have a blast going out, lying to get her approval is not necessary.

You can find true love anywhere, even online. Just be wary and safe when meeting strangers. You might not get your lifetime partner here, but meeting someone who makes you smile is one of life’s simple pleasures.

How Can You Tell If You Are Being Deceived?

2006-01-30T18:35:00.000+07:00

How Can You Tell If You Are Being Deceived?

Since the advent of the Internet, online dating seems to be the next generation's way of falling in love and getting married.

With online dating, it seems that no one needs to be alone anymore. Everybody is bound to find the right man or woman through the help of online dating services. Best of all, online dating provides additional services that no other services can provide; and, because of the many interactive features that most sites give, more and more people are being enticed to try it out.

One of the greatest advantages of online dating is that it gives the person anonymity. Since, other people are not fully aware of how an individual looks and what kind of person they are dealing with; anonymity becomes a powerful tool in the process of interaction with other people.

With anonymity, most people are able to say what they would never disclose in person. In addition, most people have a lot of time analyzing their dates first before they decide to meet them in person. In this way, they get to know who the person is, his or her personality, or what does he or she looks like even if it is only through pictures.

However, anonymity can also be too powerful tool to gain a person’s attention through deceptions and lies.

Therefore, if you wish to know whether the other person is deceiving you, here are some tips.

1. Be wary of those who exaggerate or evade things that are too obvious not to notice.

This could mean that the other person is trying to hide something. People can be very deceiving online, so it pays to be aware and look for clues about his/her truthfulness.

Moreover, exaggeration may suggest that the person trying to cover something. Do they try to change the topic at once? Be wary.

2. Inconsistency

If your date tells the same story several times and you pick up discrepancies in the tale, suspect lies.

3. If the other person does not reveal too much of his or her personal information or anything about him or her, chances are, he or she may be deceiving their online dates.

In reality, there is no harm on not revealing anything about certain information. In fact, it is one way of dating safely online.

However, there are situations wherein an individual has to know something about his or her date just to gain a little knowledge about the other person. This usually includes basic information like name, age, likes or dislikes, and other light information that could give the concerned person some solid basis of the person.

So, for people who do not reveal much about who they are, it means that they are hiding something.

4. Intuitions

It may be too vague or too amusing to believe in intuition. Nevertheless, there are many cases and stories wherein people who rely on their intuition usually get positive results.

Intuition is something that is known to exist without the support of rational basis. Hence, if you feel that your online date is not telling the truth, then, chances are you are right.

Experts say that through intuition, the individual’s subconscious thought can identify inconsistencies that are not easily noticed. This can be very helpful especially when somebody is a skilled liar.

5. It would be better for some people to ask their online date to have a chat using a web cam. In this way, they will both see each other’s looks, personalities, and other things that can only be verifiable through web cams.

Here, an individual can detect a person who is trying to deceive him or her when he or she does not want to use a web cam or if there are just too many excuses.

The bottom line is that if the other person has nothing to lie about, then, everything must be kept simple and straightforward. There should be no beating around the bush while answering questions.

In reality, online dating that is free from any deceptions should be simple and based on truth, no more, no less.

Tips on How to Find a Date Online

2006-01-30T18:33:00.000+07:00

Tips on How to Find a Date Online

Love is in the air and more on the screen. This is because online dating has continually dominated the world of information technology.

To date, 40 million American singles are into online dating. That’s about half of the current number of the American singles population based on the reports of the Bureau of Statistics.

However, in spite of the growing number of people who are getting hooked up with online dating, one fact remains the same: Most people are having a hard time finding dates online.

Therefore, for people who wish to know some tips on how to get a date online, here’s how:

1. One’s profile really matters.

People who are into online dating should always keep this in mind: The success of getting a date online centers on a remarkable profile. It’s the sole way to give others information about you that they will find attractive and compelling.

2. Photos do speak a thousand words

Alongside a good profile, good photographs can do wonders too. Surveys show that almost 95% of people who are searching for somebody to date look at the pictures first. After all, physical attraction is the number concern of dating.

3. Fun! Fun! Fun!

Most people hooked up to online dating services is because they want to have fun. In fact, most people want to hang around with people whom they find funny or are fun to be with.

4. Copycats have no place in online dating sites.

For a person to be successful in getting a date online, it’s best to maintain originality and individuality.

After all, online dating sites have millions of members and the numbers are continuously growing. Therefore, the probability of getting a date online is pretty much a given if you search correctly.

So, what’s the bottom line? Success getting a date online is entirely dependent on you, your profile, and the way you project yourself on screen.

What If You’re Disappointed When You Meet In Person?

2006-01-26T18:01:00.000+07:00

What If You’re Disappointed When You Meet In Person?

Online dating can really be amusing. A lot of people even find it workable and gratifying. In fact, there are more benefits than you might realise if you haven't tried it for yourself.

However, not all online dating escapades produce positive results in the end. There are instances where the expectations sometimes go out of hand when executed in reality.

Take for example the case of a person who was lucky enough to find somebody he thinks is the right girl for him. He replied on her profile and when he received an answer from the girl, they started to communicate frequently.

What happens on their online dating is a series of continuous communication, exchanging messages, chatting continuously, and spending hours over the phone.

Because of the instant chemistry that evolved each time they talk to each other, the guy had emotionally built up the possibility of having a true, and not virtual, relationship with the girl. That is why he decided to set up their first real date.

but when they met for lunch, everything seemed to crumble into pieces. The girl appeared to be somewhat different than what the guy had expected or recalled. Worse still, their erstwhile cheerful and lively conversation suddenly became stiff and strained.

When the date comes to an end, even though the girl said that she had a nice time and enjoyed the day, the problem is still there. The guy does not know what to say or do.

This kind of situation is not uncommon in the world of online dating. There are many cases where two people just don’t click when they meet in person.

A lot of people who are involved in online dating usually ask why such things happen. They find it hard to believe that the person they have learned to like (and love) online is entirely different when in person.

Hence, they try to assess themselves what went wrong. Is it their point of view that has changed? Were they deceived by the other person? Or was it just wrong from the very start?

The problem with most people is they fail to keep in mind that when they communicate to their dates online, they are really communicating, not with a person but with a series of texts. This is because any answers can always be fabricated or the other person can always deceive his or her date.

So when this happens, personal meetings often end up like the one mentioned above. This is because reality is entirely different from what the computer screen illustrates.

Nevertheless, in real life, we should know how to gradually exit from the situation without having to hurt the other person’s feelings.

So, for people who wish to know how to do this, here’s a list of some useful tips that you can use that make rejections a little easier to bear.

1. It would be better not to delve on the issue about not having the right chemistry in the first place, or point out the reason why an individual cannot pursue the dating any longer.

In order to break things up easily, don't focus on the issue of not getting the expectations one had started to build before you met in person.
Don't excuse yourself on the grounds that your date is not good-looking enough, or be hurtful in any way.

2. Instead, try to explain the importance of finding each other’s right mate in order to build a happy relationship.

An individual should at least try to make an extra effort on explaining how chemistry works with two people and that lack of such value could be detrimental in one’s relationship.

3. Excuses will only make the matter worse.

Rejections should be instigated in such a way that the other person will not be hurt. If you just make lousy excuses the other person will sense this and be more hurt.

4. People should be consistent in their decisions.

If you start to tell the other person that you think the relationship will not work, but are not firm in the decision, you will only make the matter worse and generate negative feelings.

5. It’s best allow your date to express his or her sentiments and ask questions. Then answer the questions as honestly as possible.

The bottom line here is that when a person gets disappointed after meeting his or her online date in person, it would be better to set things straight at once and put an end on the situation before it gets out of hand.

Try and understand how your date is feeling and be kind to them, even though you are about to cut the relationship. If you were in their place, you would want your date to be kind to you.

It is all a matter of being sensitive at the same time being honest on what the other person would feel.

What Do You Do When Your Online Dating Ad Gets No Response?

2006-01-26T17:59:00.000+07:00

What Do You Do When Your Online Dating Ad Gets No Response?

For most people who want to be happy with their love life, dating is probably the most important activity to engage in before proceeding to the more serious part like marriage.

Successful dating can make you the happiest person, while a failed relationship can be devastating.

No wonder everybody is trying hard to come up with something unique and entertaining when it comes to personal ads. These ads are not the typical ads that people see on televisions or on print medium. Personal ads are more like profiles; the main purpose is also to advertise one’s self.

So what happens if your personal profile, in which you put so much hope, gets no replies after weeks and even months? Wait before you pull down your ad and become afflicted with low self-esteem. All is not lost. You must analyze what went wrong.

Don't get depressed and blame yourself for this apparent failure. Don't blame the failure on the online dating service that you joined. Instead, examine each part of your profile, and see how it can be improved to get your desired result.

If you want to change your apparent failure around and have a knock-out profile, here is a list of tips that could help:

1. Learn how to describe yourself truthfully and exactly. Think carefully about the things you like to do and dexcribe them accurately. Tell about the kind of person you are. Be specific. If you don't like loud music, say so. If you love animals and have a pet, tell about it. Make sure the other person can easily visualise the kind of person you are.

Would you buy a car without knowing the make model and colour? It's the same with people. No-one wants to proced with a date unless they know exactly the kind of person they are dating.

2. Make your profile interesting and humorous, not like a report.

Write some short stories about your life and experiences. but don't be mushy and sound as if you want sympathy. That will be sure to put people off. Don't boast about your accomplishments either. Honesty is the best policy in profiles.

3. People should never dwell on negative aspects like problems or failed relationships.

Posting personal ads is not about obtaining counselling help, so don't go into the details of failed relationships. Stay positive

The key point in writing personal ads is to come up with something that will appear very interesting and attention grabbing.

So, if you haven't had any response to your ad yet, take note of these hints and try again.

How Can You Tell You Have Found The Right Person

2006-01-24T17:23:00.000+07:00

How can You Tell When You Have Found the Right Person?

Love is such a wonderful thing when shared by two people whose feelings are mutual.

Dating becomes the primary selection ground for people who wish to end up with somebody they can grow old with. It provides them with the means to find the right person with whom to share their sentiments, their feelings and problems.

Normally, the stages of dating illustrate continuous experiences. As the couple get to know each other better, they can proceed onto the next level.

However, even if it seems that two people are already mutual in their feelings, one of them may still ask themselves if their mate is the right person for them. They can feel that they are happy at the moment but will it last?

Even if everything seems to be perfect condition and your dates are always pleasurable, You need to make an extra effort to find out if your loved one is truly the right person with whom to spend the rest of your life.

So, if you want to know if your date is Mr or Ms Right, here are some tips.

1. It would be better for an individual to carefully assess his or her feelings about the other person. Does something about your date annoy you greatly? Don't think they will change after marriage. People rarely change. If you can't stand it now, it's not going to get any better.

But if you think that you can withstand and endure those things,chances are you have found the right person. If you are perfectly sure that you can accept your partner's faults without complaint then, it must be love.

2. What about your partner? Do they contantly criticise and find fault with you? A lifetime of this will be unendurable for you.

One should realize that accepting somebody should never be conditional. If you accept someone who has qualities you don't like, never impose conditions or have expectations of change. You date will be unable to live up to them and you will both be disappointed.

3. If there are no obstacles to kill the flame of love, then it must be the right person.

This simply means that the person should be sure that there will be no future elements or factors that will trigger some problems on their relationship, like vices, addiction, family problems, previous relationships, etc.

Love is never 100% perfect. Realize that people are never perfect. Humans are susceptible to mistakes, imperfections, flaws, and many weaknesses of personality.

So, the best thing to use when identifying the right person is careful analysis of the individual as a whole and not just the physical attributes which is what many people base their love on.

Online Dating Tips for Special Groups

2006-01-24T17:17:00.000+07:00

Special groups online dating tips:

Caution! Do be aware that online dating is not a totally safe environment. Be very careful in investing your money, time and heart in it.

• Use only a free email account. By using your email accounts with sites such as Yahoo, Gmail, Bigfoot and Hotmail, you make easy correspondence while keeping your local email secure. Do consider hard to guess passwords which are different from your log in name.

• Avoid creating a profile name that gives a clue as to where you’re from and who you are. Choose a simple nickname but far from your true identity, to avoid getting your personal information accessed by unwanted individuals.

Also, avoid revealing too much personal data when filling in your profile, as these ads appear automatically to all.

When in an online conversation:

• Ensure secrecy. Keep in mind to never expose and provide anyone with your personal information such as full name, address, phone number and email address. Take it as a warning if anybody asks for yoru personal details early in the conversation. You are in control here, and you can stop communicating when you feel uncomfortable.

A lot of sites offer a messaging system which can be used for communicating with singles. Using this system is safer than using your email.

• Remain anonymous. Don't give personal information readily. During communications, ask questions. Ask him or her about his hobbies, education, career and interests. Take note of all of these, as the person you are talking to needs to be consistent. If they are not consistent then chances are they are not being truthful with you and not worth your time.

• Be honest. Likewise in your end, be honest enough, but at the same time not giving too much information as far as your work and home address is concerned. Just be truthful with your conversations. Convey your intentions as clearly as possible. And if you don’t like him, tell him politely. Don’t find excuses and give him the impression that you are interested in meeting with him if you are not.

• Be safe. If after many emails both of you feel that it is time to be talking on the phone, the man should be the one to give the girl his number and the girl should be the one to call the man. The girl should never give her phone number.

• Be protected. When you are definitely sure that you would want to meet the person offline, ask him for references, such as his friends, relatives or co- workers. This is not to give them the feeling that you don’t trust them, but if they too trust you, they would understand that you are very much willing to meet with him, but you just want to be on the safe side. If he has a genuine and sincere interest in you and has nothing to be afraid of, then he shouldn’t repel, but willingly give you all the information.

You could also do a background check. There are sites which offer this for free.

The meeting:

• Inform somebody of the meeting. When the plan for a meeting is already set up, make certain you tell your friend or a member of the family where exactly are you going and who you’re meeting.

• Bring your cell phone along, so in cases of emergency, you can call your friend right away.

• Use common sense and judge accordingly.

• Meet him or her in a public place such as a café, park, museum, or anywhere as long as there are a lot of people.

Dos and Don’ts on your first date:

• Do pray before a date (for Christians)

• Do be on time.

• Do look good and be neat.

• Do compliment.

• Do make your date comfortable.

• Do listen.

• Do talk about something you have a common interest with (for Christians, talk about the verses in the bible and ask each other’s opinions).

• Do take her to your church (for Christians).

• Do be an exciting date. Listen to your date and make sure to let your date feel that you are interested with all that he/she has to say.

• Do ask your date about her hobbies, career and future plans.

• Do be romantic.

• Do enjoy your moment together.

• Do laugh at her jokes.

• Do be yourself.

• Do avoid touching.

Don’ts

• Don’t be late.

• Don’t talk about your past relationship.

• Don’t pretend.

• Don’t ask too much questions.

• Don’t show disrespect to your date’s beliefs.

• Don’t forget to say thank you after the date.

Best Personal Ad Tips

2006-01-20T19:05:00.000+07:00

Best Personal Ad Tips: The Best Way to Advertise One’s Self

In business, no company can exist without the help of an advertisement. It’s their way of making their products known to people with less effort on hard selling.

In the other areas like online dating, advertisements are also needed in order to make somebody known to other singles in the dating circle. This can be achieved through personal advertisements.

Using personal ads, better known as personal profiles, people from different places have greater chances of meeting other people with whom they are compatible.

The main function of personal ads is to present an individual’s personality to other people in order to find a suitable match.

Unlike copy ads, personal ads are not difficult to write. However, it still requires skilful writing and description in order to gain positive results. Therefore, for people who wish to know some tips on how to write personal ads, here’s a list that may be used as a guide.

1. Get reader attention through good headlines.

Just like in copy ads, headlines are important in personal ads. This is because headlines are responsible in catching your reader’s attention.

If the headline fails to attract somebody to read one’s personal ad, chances are, the rest of the personal ad will not be read.

Therefore, it’s best to create personal ads with headlines that can grab attention. A catchy title can entice the other person to read the ad.

2. It’s best to be honest when describing yourself and your personality.

Describing yourself is a critical step in developing a personal ad. In fact, because of so much interest on getting a date online, some people tend to exaggerate on their personality description, which comes across as phony.

The rule of thumb in order to get positive results on personal ads is that people should always be honest. In this way, there will be a consistency.

3. Pictures can really make a difference. So, it would be better to place a picture on the personal ad for some visual purposes.

The bottom line is that, like copy ads, personal ads entail careful combination of words, pictures, and values like honesty. If a person is able to incorporate all of these in his or her personal ad, chances are, he or she will get positive results.

Online Dating Services Reviews

2006-01-20T18:55:00.000+07:00

Online Dating Services Reviews: Know More, Learn More

In many areas, reviews are extremely important to give people certain insights into the pros and cons of a certain product or service.

On the Internet, the growth of online dating services review web sites are fast increasing. They do not just provide people the necessary reviews of a certain online dating service but they also provide some tips on how to choose the right web site for the services needed.

The Most Popular Reviewers

To date, many web sites are trying to come up with practicable reviews about online dating services. However, some of them are a cut above the rest.

Some web sites known to provide thorough reviews are Online Dating Magazine and Dating Dame.com. Some magazines, such as Business Week, Newsweek and PC Magazine, have also taken part in reviewing online dating services. Many people are finding the reviews on these sites more credible because they came from trustworthy sources that are known areas in their field.

However, online dating service reviews do not completely offer 100% satisfication to people who wish to know more about online dating services. This is because the satisfication is dependent on the personal experience of an individual.

Nevertheless, there are still people who depend on the reviews before they browse on a particular online dating service. Therefore, to help those who wish to get hold of the most viable online dating services available in the Internet today, here are two of the reviewed sites that are known for their quality of service and features.

1. Match.com

Most critics find Match.com as one of the best online dating service. Critics say that Match.com is the only dating service online that features keyword search. It also has colorful graphics and user-friendly interface, that is why it gains good reviews from many credible online dating services review web sites.

Alternatively, reviews say that Match.com is the largest, most well liked online dating site in the industry today. It has approximately 15 million profiles to date.

2. Lavalife.com

According to PC magazine, a known professional online dating site reviewer, the best online dating service available in the industry today is Lavalife.com.

Reviewers assert that Lavalife.com has a more humorous approach to online dating.

Therefore, for people who wish to get the best online dating services, it’s best to consult reviews first. What they find out from them will help them choose better sites.

How to date online for seniors

2006-01-17T20:08:00.000+07:00

Merely registering as a member of an online dating site does not guarantee that you get the perfect match. As a senior trying out his or her chances in online dating services, you should clearly state what you are looking for in a date.

Dating online with success is not hard if you remember some tips to guide you through the process.

What about your online profile? Does it describe your best attributes? Or does your profile look like a warning signal for others to stay away?

Follow these tips in making a good profile, and your chance of getting a date will increase.

1. State what your objectives are

In your profile, put something in the headline that will shout to everyone what you really are and why people need to check you out. Be informative and catchy. Tell something about you and your objectives in a very appealing and tone. An ordinary profile might not carry it, but when finding a love mate, you can use a metaphor as a “sales” tool. For example, you might want to use as headline “Mature gentleman ripe for picking” rather than “Decrepit old man wanting to get hitched.”

2. Accentuate the positive and specific, not the negative and general

You do want a mate, that’s why you applied as a member of an online site, isn’t it? So, like your job resume, you should focus on your positive side. Tell your good points that you could bring into a relationship. Shout to the world why they should bother reading your profile and hopefully, make communication with you. For example, instead of merely describing yourself as just “fun-loving,” why not tell something that would really show your fun-loving side? You could say instead that you “love to watch movies every weekend and going to a nice jazz bar in town.” Doesn’t that sound exciting?

3. Make the letter personalized

When writing someone you think is a potential match, avoid letter-like introductions. Instead be casual and personal in your note. You can catch someone’s eye by responding directly to something he or she said in his or her profile.

Success in getting an online match is easy with these tips.

Seniors online dating service

2006-01-17T20:06:00.000+07:00

Seniors dating online: It’s never too late to find love.

Finding the love of your life does not have to stop at 30. In fact, there are many online dating websites that try to get this message across to senior citizens.

For many, online dating has become a successful endeavor for uniting countless singles. Many think that it is only for younger people, but according to the 2000 Report of the Census Bureau of the United States, there are more than 31 million single Americans that have reached 45. Singles below 45 are around 51 million. So, out of 82 million singles in the United States, about 37.8 percent are seniors. That's more than a third of all singles. So for every 10 singles checking an internet dating site, four of them are likely to be seniors.

That is why if you are an older single, why not try dating sites on the Internet? There are many dating services over the Net that especially cater to seniors to help them find a perfect match. Becoming a member of an internet dating site will take just a few minutes.

What are the advantages of joining an online senior dating site?

- User-friendly

Whether you are a senior who is just new to computers or you are quite an expert at surfing the Net, dating services are easy to use.

- Success rate

Generally, sites with many members often have the highest probability of giving you the perfect mate. In addition, having many site members give the site a good reputation.

- Anonymous Email

Reputable dating sites do not instantly give your email address or contact numbers in case someone wants to give you a message or vice versa. You need give your “real identity” only when you have become comfortable with that person.

- Matching Service

Online sites allow you to state what you want in a person and can notify you by email of the people most likely to match you.

- Articles and Tips on Dating

Sites offer articles and tips on how to get your perfect match.

Looking for your soul mate is not tied to age. Try online dating. It works!

Free Online Dating Services: When Free Things Matter

2006-01-17T20:04:00.000+07:00

Today, there are many free online dating services as those that require memberships.

Most free online dating services have almost the same features as the paid ones, so people can get the same benefit without having to pay for anything.

However, one of the reasons why these free online dating services are not as popular as those that require membership fees is that almost 45% of the single adults who use these dating services are actually looking for serious relationships.

Here are some guidelines to remember when looking at free online dating sites.

1. Privacy policy

Even if it is a free online dating site, it has to have its own privacy policy. This means that online dating sites should never sell or use their member’s e-mail address for anything else.

2. Background checking

It always pays off to do background checking before committing to a certain online dating site. It’s best to find out first if the site has larger membership database than others. More members would mean choices.

3. Extra features

Not all free online dating services are created equal. So, even if they are free, some can provide greater features compared to others.

4. Log-in safety measures

Even if the site seems okay, remember never to use your real name when creating a user name or use an e-mail address. It is always best to maintain certain level of secrecy for security purposes.

5. Free trial offers

Free online dating services usually offer free trials. It wouldn’t hurt to try just as long as a person observes safety online dating guidelines. After all, there’s nothing to lose because they are free.

So, whether or not free online dating services are favorable, one thing should always be kept in mind: One’s safety should always be on top priority.

Online Dating to Marriage

2006-01-14T18:05:00.000+07:00

Want to get hitched? Try online dating

So, you have finally opened up to the idea of dating online and hope for a relationship that will bloom into something fruitful, like marriage!

Here are some tips for a successful online dating experience.

Use complete personal information. Of course, you should be prudent in giving out personal contact information. But otherwise, give out your likes and dislikes, your interests, and favorite books honestly. Members on the online service may look at your site and leave uninterested if they see that your profile is just full of Ask Me descriptions and statements.

Okay, you might want to leave additional information to those interested, but you have to give information on your profile that would show your best attributes.

You might want to add photographs to your profile. Some online sites have audio and video features where you can upload your clips. Instead of a dull profile with no pictures or video or audio clips, why not try these features? It makes your profile personalized and interesting.

When surfing and chatting in an online singles site, you must not be rude or aggressive in your profile. Avoid also using swear or cuss words. People are turned off by offensive remarks.

Honesty is the best policy. Highlight the best characteristics that you have, but don't lie.

If you are really passionate about something, say so. Do not hide the things that you are very passionate about. If you really like partying, say so. Pretending to be someone you are not, won't help you get a date you like.

If it is available, try the site's voicemail services. Hearing the voice of a prospective partner is wonderful. You could sense the person's background by the way they communicate with you.

When someone sends you an anonymous message, try to answer as promptly as you can. If you are serious in having online dates with the hope of having fruitful relationships (and hopefully marriage), then you should be serious in replying to messages.

Be patient. You should take your time in finding the perfect partner, and not only in online services. It takes time for people to develop and have serious commitment to each other.

Always think optimistically. Keep thinking the best will happen.

If you are looking for a long-term relationship or marriage through online dating services, remember that you should be patient and honest.

Your Online Dates Honesty

2006-01-14T18:03:00.000+07:00

How to check your online date’s honesty

Online dating can prove to be a wonderful experience but you have to remember certain precautions in dating people over the Net.

How would you know that the person you will be meeting for the first time is honest and is not deceiving you? Here are some tips to guide you.

1. Listen to what your gut is saying. If something does not feel right when communicating with him or her, it is probably an indication to move on. Trust on your instincts.

2. Do not give out your personal home information too early. If your date is an honest person, they will understand. They should also be aware of the danger that may lurk in online dating, and agree on some measures for protection. In fact, they may admire you for it, because it shows that you are not cheap, nor desperate for a date.

3. To maximize your safety, make an anonymous electronic mail account in services like Yahoo or Hotmail. Try not to give your complete name. This will protect your privacy. If you think someone is trustworthy enough to give out your main email address and other information, then you can give him or her the information.

4. If you think you have gathered enough information about your date, you could try doing a background check. If he or she is honest, they shouldn't make a big deal about it. After all, honest people don’t have anything to hide, do they?

Keep in mind that there are people out there who lie about their profile and the things they are saying over the Internet. Some lie about their marital status, some over their physical appearances, and some about their intentions. Be alert at all times. Not all people in online dating services are good people. Trust your instincts. Hopefully, you will find one that is honest and has good intentions for you. He or she might be your destiny.

How Does Online Dating Differ from Traditional Dating

2006-01-13T16:57:00.000+07:00

Why many prefer online dating over traditional one

Gone are the days when dating means courting your future spouse you met at school or in your neighborhood. Romance could blossom now with the click of a mouse.

The Internet has become the ultimate haven for singles without the drunks, the noise, and the exorbitant cost you pay to be in the bars desperately hoping to be noticed. Thanks to online dating sites, you don’t have to ask your mother or friend to help you hook up with someone they think is perfect for you, who in most cases, aren’t.

Some might still believe in the good ol’ traditional dating. Good luck to them. But not you. You are wise and savvy. You know that online dating is a better and quicker way of connecting with other people and getting to know them. You know you can’t meet all the people in the world that might just be your perfect match. The Internet expands your probabilities, widening your choices to meet a mate.

What are the additional reasons for checking out online sites?

1. The ability to easily access profiles from the wide variety. Online sites have hundreds of profiles for a possible match. Clicking on someone that you have an interest on is so easy.

In traditional dating, you are limited to the social circle that you have. Your choice then becomes limited. Unlike in online dating, where choices can be limitless, and is not limited in your immediate circle of friends and acquaintances.

2. Most reputable dating sites are safe. They are very particular on this area, enforcing among others, a Code of Ethics among members, Certification that a member is single, and background check on criminal record. Check whether the site has safety nets.

Both traditional and online dating have their dangers, although dating traditionally, admittedly, has lesser safety risks. But you can never be too sure.

3. You have the decision to meet or not to meet somebody. If you do not feel up to meeting somebody, then it is your decision.

Compared with online dating, you feel a sense of pressure when someone wants you to meet this or that person. If your best friend nags you to meet his or her cousin, how can you say no? In online dating, the decision to say yes or no is very easy.

4. The accuracy in finding a good mate increases since the site has personal profiles for you to look at, personality tests, and image uploads. Some sites even have audio and video capabilities in their personal ads.

Do not ignore these opportunities in improving your personal ads. Other singles and prospective matches will be more interested in your ads if you have video or audio clips. Personals ads with images have a response of 80 percent, but ads with a video clip or audio clip (or both) have a 97% response.

Unlike in traditional dating, you get to know various kinds of people in just a few minutes. You could sense someone’s personality without the hassle of actually meeting that person first.

5. It is relatively affordable and fast. Online dating sites are cheaper and quicker than arranging a date with somebody referred to you by a friend. In just a few minutes, your perfect match could be available.

Of course, internet dating won’t guarantee you a head start in dating and romance. After all, like any forms of dating, online dating takes practice and patience. Online dating has its downfalls too. Being online does not mean everyone will be buzzing around you.

That is why when you are using online dating services, you must take responsibility for your actions, and consider safety risks as well. After all you are spending money too; money not just for connecting to the Internet, but also for the minimal fees you pay for being a member in those sites. Internet dating sites cost primarily because of two reasons: First, to discourage fly-by-night creeps who just lurk and are curious in cyberspace. Second, a good online dating service pays a lot to ensure members are safe.

There are vast differences between traditional and online dating, and it would not hurt you trying dating online.

Traditional Dating vs Online Dating

2006-01-13T16:55:00.000+07:00

When you are single and you wish to place yourself on the dating market, you should first consider what kind of dating you prefer. With today’s technology, there are two kinds of dating available – traditional and online.

What does online and traditional dating have to offer?

1) If you are lucky in finding prospective dates on a regular basis using traditional dating methods, you may not need online dating. However, if you have a hard time finding a date in real time, you may benefit from an online dating service.

2) The importance of time. For most single people, time is valuable. When a busy and stressful daily life captures you, you will not have time to go out to party and meet new people. Online dating saves your time because it acts as a filter before you even meet someone.

3) Problem of location. In traditional dating, location will never be a problem because most of the time, you are acquainted at parties, social events, and other happenings just around the city. Although online dating offers you the opportunity to meet new people in all parts of the world, it would be a problem when you are located three continents farther from your date.

4) The dreaded blind date. Have you ever experienced being set up by your friends with no clue on whom your date would be? Well, if you hate this scenario of traditional dating, you would enjoy online dating. Through the internet, you have the opportunity to get to know someone before you meet face to face. By becoming acquainted with your date beforehand, you could easily see the probability of a smooth conversation when you meet in real time.

5) The dream partner. When you meet a person in a bar, party or social gatherings, the first thing that attracts you to someone includes the physical attributes. You may not know where the person was born, goals in life or personality. In dating online, you have the choice to search for possible dates who have the same interest, religion, location, personality, and situation as yourself. There is a larger possibility that you would find the person who would complement you the most.

6) Cost effective. Unlike meeting your date for dinner or coffee, online dating is more cost effective than traditional dating.

Whatever kind of dating you decide is suitable for you, always be cautious in giving out personal information to a person who is stillreally a stranger. Be sure that your date is genuinely safe. He could either be the person of your dreams - or your worst nightmare.

Online dating safety tips

2006-01-11T19:21:00.000+07:00

There’s thrill, excitement, and nervousness when meeting for the first time someone you met over the Net. But you must exercise caution when meeting someone you barely know.

Below are some tips to guide you safely when dating.

1. Make arrangements to meet at a specific location, but do not let the person pick you up from your house.

2. You should meet in places where there are many people so you can ask for help if your date gives you trouble. Public places such as malls or daytime parks are good places to begin with. If it is possible, you could go double or group date.

3. When you are eating in a restaurant or café, go Dutch. Pay half of the bill. In that way, you won’t feel under any obligation to continue the relationship if you don't like the person.

4. If possible, avoid drinking alcohol while on a date. Alcohol could affect your judgment and lessen inhibitions. If you are drinking, keep the drink in sight all the time. Do not get too drunk. You might not know or remember what happened later on.

5. If you have a car, use it. Make sure the gas tank is full.

6. Assuming that your date is safe just because they claim to be religious is wrong. For all you know, they could have a hidden, more unfavourable side.

7. Do not let any first-time date know where your house is. Only assess after the second date if you should let them know where you live.

8. At night, avoid going to secluded, dark areas like parks or dimly lit places.

9. Listen to what your gut says. If there is something that does not feel right, then most likely, it is not. Leave immediately if you feel something isn’t quite right.

10. Tell someone whom you are with and where you will be going. You might also want to arrange a time schedule where someone could call you later and check up on you. You could also plan to meet some friends after the date.

11. Do not give your home contact number. If you really have to give contact information, give your mobile phone number.

12. Stay alert. Having fun the whole time does not mean you should let your guard down. Be sure you have a cell phone with you.

Online dating may be fun, but your safety should be your primary concern.

Online Dating Problems

2006-01-09T18:04:00.000+07:00

How to overcome online dating problems

It is exciting to meet in real life someone you have only met at an online dating service. However, you must practice cautionary measures so as to avoid having problems.

The following are some guidelines to worry-free dating.

1. When meeting, do make arrangements first. Since you barely know the person, do not let them meet you at your home.

2. Meet in public places. If it is okay with your date, you could ask another pair or some friends to go with you. If your date is genuine in his or her interests, this shouldn’t be a problem.

3. If you are having a lunch or dinner in a café or restaurant, you should pay half of the bill. Thus, you are free from obligations that you have to meet the person again.

4. If you have your own car, you should use it. Do not rely on a date’s car so that you won’t feel that you have to ride with him or her if the date turns awry.

5. Try to avoid alcoholic drinks dring your time together.

6. If you plan to meet your date the second time, evaluate if he or she deserves to know your personal home address. Never give your address when meeting the person the first time.

7. Do not go to secluded and dimly-lit areas at night. Try to stay in crowded places if possible.

8. Listen to your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, then assess it immediately. It may be best that you thank your date and leave as soon as possible. Don't be afraid to do so.

9. For safety's sake, tell a friend your date’s contact details and plans for the date and get them to check up on you both during the date and afterwards.

11. Remember: Never give your personal contact information to someone you barely know. They should understand this and agree, at least on your first date.

12. Be alert at all times.

Like traditional dating, online dating has some risks, including safety concerns. To avoid having problems in your online dating, just remember the tips above.

Online Dating Safety

2006-01-09T17:37:00.000+07:00

Tips To Secure Your Online Dating Safety

Online personals and dating can be a very fun venue towards meeting that special someone. However, one's safety should still be the top priority. Did you know that most online dating services do not pre-screen their users? This means that they cannot ensure that the people you meet through their sites are safe enough to be dealt with. So, this makes you call the shots when it comes to screening them.

Here are a few tips to make online dating less risky and more fun:

1. Anonymity Breeds Safety, For Awhile

Giving your real email address, personal web site URL, last name, phone number, place of work, home address, or any other information that identifies you in your profile or first few emails that you exchange with other members makes you an easy victim. Turn off your signature file, or make sure that it does not have any identifying information, when sending emails to a member through your own email.

2. Photo Perfect Request

To give an idea of the person's look, thus make you a tad safer, request for a picture. A scanned photo won't cost so much, so no excuse can be given for not doing it.

3. Lean on Common Sense

Trusting your online acquaintances easily can make you easy bait. If your gut feel tells you that someone is lying, there's a big chance that you are right. Look for someone that deserves your trust. Online intimacy is very dangerous. Don't indulge yourself in such endeavor at the click of a mouse. Logical thinking will save you a lot of trouble.

4. Call First, Don't Drool Just Yet

A person's skills when it comes to communicating can be easily gauged through a phone call. Though it might cost you some moolah, it is worth it to make sure you don't fall for someone who is anti-social. However, to make things a lot safer, use a cell phone or a pay phone instead of using your land line. Unless you are absolutely comfortable with the person you are calling, don't give your home phone number at once.

5. Delay the Meeting

It is advisable to take your time and get to know the person as much as possible first before saying yes to a face to face meeting. If he seems to be only spouting or keying saccharine words that you want to hear, the person on the other end might have a questionable honesty. Don't feel like you are obligated to meet anyone, you still have the last say on whether you are ready to meet the person or not. You are free to change your mind if anything feels not right.

6. Psychoanalyze or End up with a Psycho

You should pay attention to any signs of intense frustration, anger or any displays of aggressive behavior. If the person is trying to control or pressure you, stop the communication. Here are the other alarming manifestations of bad behavior that will make you aware that you are in danger.

- giving dubious info about appearance, age, interests, profession, marital status, etc.
- refusal to converse with you over the phone when you have already established online intimacy
- consistently not giving any direct answers to direct questions, etc.
- overly agreeing to your every statement
- asking you to provide travel arrangements

7. Offline Meeting

Before meeting your online friend, tell someone reliable where you will go and when you will return. Leaving your date's name and phone number is a good idea. Bring your mobile phone. Don't allow your date to pick you up at home. Have your own transportation and meet somewhere public. During the date, don't leave your drink unattended. After the date, leave on your own too.

To make online dating work, it is imperative that you exercise caution. Have ample time to get to know the other person, don't rush yourself or allow anyone to rush you into doing anything. It's better to be safe and dateless for a while than sorry.

Ways to Build Happy, Lasting Relationships

2006-01-06T19:31:00.000+07:00

Start Over
When couples first get together, everything is new and exciting. They overlook the little annoying things the other person does. However, after time, the nagging starts, instead of hearing, “You look beautiful,” they might hear “Why are you wearing that shirt?” If this sounds like your relationship, first, the two
of you need to sit down and be honest that things have changed. Identify the things each other did in the beginning of the relationship that created the attraction in the first place. Then together, make a commitment to start over. The truth is, both of you will have to work on this. It will not automatically be easy but it is possible. Start by forgiving each other, forgetting the past, and then start over with the flirtation. Focus only on the special things your mate does and relearn to put the unimportant things aside. It will take some time so be patient.

Needed Space
As important as it is to spend quality time together, it is equally important to give each other time to do something they like. If your mate loves to fish but you have no desire to bait a hook with little, slimy worms, or if you like to go to the casino but your mate would rather do something different, encourage each other to take time apart. Try establishing a set time for this very purpose, if possible. For example, perhaps you could determine that every other Friday night is “singles” night. This is not a time to date other people, but to enjoy preferred activities. Remember that you have to place trust in your relationship. If you try this and then drill them, to see what they did, whom they were with, and where they went, then the exercise has failed.

Predictability
If asking couples the factors involved in the demise of their relationship, one of the common responses is that everything in the relationship is so predictable. When rebuilding a relationship, do not be afraid of letting go of boredom. If you normally hate the fact that Saturday afternoons consist of your mate sitting for hours watching football, fix some finger sandwiches and something cool to drink and go join them on the couch, or if your mate spends hours in the garden trying to make things look perfect, surprise them with a new flowering plant, and then help to plant it. When taking a walk with your mate, stop and give them a soft kiss, say, “I love you,” and then keep walking. Take some chances and do the unexpected.

Communicate
When couples are having problems in a relationship, communication is the first thing to stop. It is often easier to just be quiet than to get mad. When rebuilding relationships, just as communication was the first to stop, it now needs to be the first to start. This will require that both individuals let down their guard and pretty much throw caution to the wind. Healing in the relationship cannot start until you talk. Make an agreement that you will talk about anything and everything and that you will listen, really listen. That does not mean that you will agree with everything, which is perfectly fine. However, if you do not agree, do not yell, rather, the two of you need to calmly discuss the issue and together, work out a solution. This is hard work but within a very short time, you will both feel much better, individually and as a couple.

Be Kind to One Another
Unbelievably, kindness is often over simplified. Even good relationships can lack acts of kindness. This refers to “Do unto others…” Simple acts of kindness can have huge impacts on a relationship. If your husband or boyfriend is out working on the car on a hot summer day, make a thermos of ice-cold tea and take it to him, giving him a gentle kiss. If your wife or girlfriend has been working at the computer all day, walk up behind her and massage her shoulders and neck. You get the idea. Kindness means looking at the other person’s situation and seeing what you can do or add to that situation to make it better or easier. This is a way to validate your respect for each other. Kindness will go a long way in a relationship.

The Risks of Online Dating

2006-01-06T19:23:00.000+07:00

There is no question that the popularity of online dating has revolutionized the way potential couples meet each other. These days, it is not uncommon for the average single person to participate in an online dating service. In fact, this trend is fast becoming the norm. In 2004, it was estimated that residents in the U.S. spent more than $460 million on online dating services.

It goes without saying that online dating is big business in America. There are many reasons why people find this method of meeting new people so appealing. For one thing, everyone is doing it! There are many online dating services and plenty of them offer free services.

The combination of curiosity and the desire to meet new, exciting people is what usually lures individuals to be a part of an online dating service community. But this new activity doesn't come without a price.

Sure it doesn't happen all the time, but just every now and then we hear horror stories about online dating services. Some of them are scary enough to keep casual observers away from these online dating services for good.

One of the problems facing the industry of online dating service is that its participants often misrepresent themselves in the profiles that they create. Not everyone tells the truth. People have been known to lie about everything, including their marital status. Some married individuals try to pass themselves off as single, while others lie about their physical appearance, age, economic status, and even gender.

For an inexperienced online dater, danger lurks at every corner. But there are some safety measures prospective participants can take to help guide them through a safe online dating experience.

Rule of the thumb: most online dating services that offer subscriptions are relatively safer than those that can be accessed for free.Paid membership sites offer a set of requirements and guidelines that aspiring members have to meet.

Some sites are so exclusive that anyone who wants to join has to undergo an intensive screening process first. Background checks are done on aspiring members to make sure the information they have given is true.

Some more safety tips when it comes to online dating:

1. Pay attention to the consistency of the information given by the persons you are corresponding with. This way, you may be able to catch them out in a lie.

2. Online daters should protect their identity. One of the greatest things about online dating is that it offers participants anonymity. Personal information like address, last name and phone number, is not revealed until the participant decides to do so. You should be extremely careful about divulging personal information that will make it possible for the people to locate you.

3. You should immediately cease communication with people who seem obsessed with acquiring personal information about you.

4. Always watch out for warning signs when talking to people, such as: the use of foul language, signs of anger for no apparent reason, elusiveness in answering direct questions, disrespectful remarks, etc. These are some of the symptoms that spell trouble. The person exhibiting these types of behavior may not be trustworthy, and continuing the relationship could be dangerous.

5. Once you agree to meet your date, don't ask them to your home, but meet in a public place that is well-lit, with plenty of other people around.

Online dating is similar to real life dating in the sense that individuals should always practice common sense and caution whenever they meet someone new. Even though the interaction takes place online, once you have revealed personal information about yourself, you can't take it back.

It is best to always use one's instincts and logic when it comes to dealing with other people, even when it comes to online dating. This is where some people fall prey to cheaters, deceivers, and even sexual offenders. They go against their better judgment. If something feels amiss, then this is probably a sign that something could go terribly wrong.

It is best to get out of this situation like this. As the saying goes: "Better be safe than be sorry". A saying that online dating service participant should always remember.

Is Online Dating Right for You ?

2006-01-06T19:19:00.000+07:00

Online dating: Is it right for you?

Should you go online dating? Why not? That is the answer for many of those undecided and unsure of Internet dating. There are many reasons for doing so, and by being a member of online dating services, you are expanding your social circle and raising your hopes to find your perfect match.

Online dating services have grown by leaps and bounds over the years. Most singles have become members of such online dating sites, with high success rates.

Here are some reasons why online dating is perfectly right and safe for you.

It is fun

In case you did not know or haven’t heard yet, online dating is the most prominent way of meeting attractive and fun people all over the world. It is safe, easy, and fun way of meeting and connecting with so many great people. Every month, millions of singles all over the world are available for instant communication, with hundreds of thousands signing up as new members.

Benefits of online dating

The benefits of online dating are absolutely endless. For example, most dating services in the Internet have millions of members, mostly actives ones that are just waiting to communication with somebody like you for friendship, lunch or dinner dates, and possibly even more. The odds of finding a special mate in these online dating services are very high since these singles intend to meet someone like you. Imagine the millions of potential mates in online dating sites.

The icing on the cake is the features of most online dating sites, such as the easy access to the wide profiles of people, with their photos, audio and video clips available at an instant. It’s like meeting somebody new at the click of a mouse right in your own home.

Internet Dating is Easy

Online dating sites have hundreds of millions as members. So, for example, if you don’t want somebody because his or her profile doesn’t match you or it doesn’t interest you, you could move on to another profile. Most, if not all, online dating sites also have features that enable you to state what you look in for a partner. Say what you like or dislike for a mate, as well as the things that you do or hobbies, among others. Submit it to the online dating site where you are a member, then just wait for emails coming from the online dating services informing you of their latest possible matches for you! It’s that easy! You don’t have to go to the site every day just to check who’s hot for you.

If somebody piques your interest, you could send him or her an instant message or an email. And hopefully, he or she will do the same. From there, you can take the contact to the higher level. It is that fast and easy.

Okay, you say, online dating gives you more pros than cons. But, how to choose from the various online sites out there? Here are some factors that you should consider.

1. Do some budgeting.

Determine how much of your money do you want to be used for online dating. Do a budget. Some internet sites require you to pay one-time fees, while some ask for monthly membership fees.

2. Seek recommendations.

You could ask friends or colleagues who have become acquainted with some online dating sites for their tips in looking for a good dating site. They can give additional information not available from Internet dating sites.

3. Check available sites.

Check the Internet for possible information for dating websites. Try to see what sites are the most popular or least visited.

4. Consider specialized sites.

There are also specialized dating sites available. Some are for seniors, some for homosexuals and some are for different religious affiliations among others.

5. Weigh the cons and pros.

From the online sites that you have checked, select only the top three for you and compare their advantages and disadvantages with the rest. Factors to be considered are the site’s success rate, number of members, features, fee costs, among others.

Dating has never been this much fun. Whether it is for friendship or a long-term romantic relationship (even marriage), online dating sites could help you on these areas in just a few clicks. Isn’t that easy?

Dating Advice For Men

2006-01-05T19:42:00.000+07:00

How to have an impressive date with a woman

Asking her for a date:

• Before asking her out for a date, try to have some conversation together. This will be an opportunity for you to discover if your personalities and ideas are attuned with each other, before you do decide to ask her out for a date.

• When calling through the phone. Don’t forget to mention to her the conversations you had. This will give her the impression that you do listen, making her feel important. Then if you feel that it is time to ask her, go ahead; ask gently, not in a demanding manner.

• Ask when you both are alone. Never ask a girl out on a date in front of others, like her friends. If she says no, you will both be embarrassed.

During the date:

• Look good, be neat. Put extra effort to the way you look. Take the time be well groomed, smell nice and choose your clothes well. It must correspond to the place with which your date is set. Make a good impression, so you can charm her and she can be proud of you.

• Do not be late. Prepare for the big day ahead. Make the necessary reservations and planning for your date. If you have planned for it, she will be impressed that you did put some effort on your night together. Be sure that during the big day you have no appointments so you won’t be cramming and be on time.

• Be polite. Be sure to make her feel good by complementing the way she looks. And when seated at the table, turn your cell phone off. This will signal to her that you are very much interested in your moment together.

• Say her name. Make it a point to say her name every so often in your conversations, to make her feel at ease and special.

• Smile. Aside from putting up a positive attitude, your smile is an indication that you are happy to be with her.

• Have a Sense of Humor. Making a woman laugh means you have won half your battle. This means that she is having a nice time and creates a positive atmosphere. This will be an occasion she would remember, because she had fun!

• Be attentive. Listen to what she has to say, do not interrupt. Let her finish, before you state your opinion and make eye contact.

• Be honest. Let her get to know you by telling her what you do and what interests you. If she does not like you for who you are, then she is not worth your time. Show interest in her too, by asking her about her work, hobbies and her likes. Be sensible and honest in initiating such conversations.

• Relax. Do not worry that your date is not having a good time. Go ahead and ask her. Just manage yourself well and enjoy the evening. Keep the conversations open and ask questions. Be sincere.

• Do not pretend. Be yourself. Pretending to be somebody that you’re not will not work in the long run. The truth will always come out sooner or later. It is a rewarding feeling if someone is drawn to you for who you really are.

• Never compare. It will be very unfair of you if you compare your date to your past girlfriend. Keep in mind that she is a totally different person with her own personality. Take the time to discover her; you might be pleased if you do. Comparing won’t get you anywhere.

• Never tell your date about the break-up of a previous relationship. Keep in mind that you asked her out so you both could have fun together. She is not your therapist, so do not recount your past relationship. Bury the past and move on. Here is a woman in front of you who is interested to know you more. Get to know her too, initiate a conversation that could lead to a common interest.

• Enjoy. Dating should be exciting and relaxing. A woman can sense if you are enjoying your time with her or not. Don’t stress yourself trying so hard to make it the perfect date because it won’t be. But you both can enjoy it. After all, you did invite her out because you liked her in the first place. Be spontaneous and have fun.

Dating Advice For Women

2006-01-05T19:40:00.000+07:00

Woman's Touch: Dating Do's and Dont's For Females

It can be difficult to be a woman in the dating arena. A lot of things can go wrong for you more so than for your male counterpart. Plus, men can be really dense about a few things. Well, no worries. Here are a few tips on what to do and not to do during a date:

1) Timing is important - Timing as in 'on time'. No matter what they say, there is no such thing as 'fashionably late'. For the first date, this can give the guy jitters and make him think that you've stood him up. For the later dates, having him wait for you in the living room for half an hour with either your roommate, your sister or, worse, your father is not something you want him to do - whether it be for the embarrassing stories or Dad's 'eyes of doom'.

2) Keep your head on straight - Yes, we all know dates are supposed to be fun, but knowing what's going on is important both for your own safety and for your love life. Is your date acting suspiciously or is he just nervous? Maybe you'd want to end the date early or do something to calm him down. Is he taking notice of what you're wearing or just ogling? The choice to either wink at him or just stare knowingly is up to you. Is his attention on you or the girl next to you? You might wish to reward him with a smile or a slap. Situational awareness is not just for soldiers on the front but also for young women on the prowl.

3) Be nice - Have a positive attitude, find things that you like and tell him. Compliment him about his clothes, how he looks and how well the date is going. It puts him at ease and also makes him feel important. It also shows him that you're taking notice of him and you appreciate him. But, don't lie. Like I said, look at the bright side of things - the service of the restaurant may have been slow but the ambience was terrific.

4) Do not complain - This may be technically part of tip three, but it deserves a separate heading. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell him that something is wrong or something makes you uncomfortable. The way you phrase it and the tone you use is important here. 'Venting', like we do with our girl friends, is not going to go over well with him since he'll probably misinterpret it. Grin and bear it then tell him after the date in calmly what your problem was. Trust me, he'll understand and he'll try to make it up to you.

5) Enjoy the date - A date is a chance to get to know each other and to enjoy yourselves. Have fun during the date. Try not to be hyper-critical, but just take things in your stride. If you're not having fun, your date will notice and, trust me, he will get nervous which will probably start ruining the experience for both of you. Also, just let your guard down for a little while. Let him see the real you. He may or may not like it, but in the end he will appreciate the honesty of the act. Besides, if he doesn't like you for you, why should you keep on dating?

6) Afterwards, show interest - If you really like the guy, waiting for the call after a successful date is nerve-wracking. You know he's interested and you're definitely interested, you're just waiting for him to call you so you could arrange another date. Try giving him a day or two. He usually has to get his act together and work up the courage to call. If he doesn't call, he's probably still tongue-tied from being in your presence. Call him up to say hello. Talk about the date and how you had fun and give hints. No matter how dense he is, he should then pick up on it and ask you for another date!

7) Be consistent - For those who've crossed the 'First Date' Rubicon, try maintaining the impression you made on him during the first date. Men don't like surprises except, of course, if they plan them. This doesn't mean, however, that you'll just give him the first date you. Talk to each other, both on and off dates, to get to know each other more. What he got on the first date was a sneak peek, what he should get from your continued dating should be the entire reel.

Well, there they are seven tips for dating success! Hopefully, this advice could help lead you through today's tough tangle of relationships. Happy hunting!

Getting Started with Online Dating

2006-01-05T19:39:00.000+07:00

For anyone who is new to the world of online dating, things could get a little confusing. Online dating differs from real life dating in many ways. One of the key differences is that with online dating, all of the action is done via the internet.

Individuals or groups of people who want to meet other people for social purposes, romantic attachments, or just to make new friends can do so through the means of online dating services.

This is a new, fun, and exciting way to meet people. Almost everyone is getting in on the action when it comes to online dating services. It has been assessed that approximately 1 out of 5 Americans participate in an online dating service.

There are numerous online dating services that cater to all types of people. Individuals ranging in age, interests, and different demographics and various walks of life.

The numbers of people who are participating in online dating services are on the rise. More than ever young people nowadays are using this method as their main route to meet people. They see nothing shameful about this way of socializing. Plus, the anonymity that online dating services provide is appealing.

After all, participants of online dating services don't have to meet the individuals they communicate with in person until they've achieved some level of trust and comfort with the other person. In the end, a participant always has the choice to meet or not to meet.

The more reliable online dating services are those that require memberships from participants. They have a given set of requirements that must be met before anybody is allowed to participate. This allows the online dating service website to accept or reject aspiring members. Some of these online dating services are not free. They charge a monthly fee for the services they offer.

Subscribers to online dating services are asked to create a profile which contains a picture of the subscriber and other useful information. This is where the subscribers get to post some basic personal information like interests, hobbies, and the description of the type of persons they'd want to connect with. The great thing about this is the subscribers have a chance to express themselves, and show their personality through their profiles. Also, they can specify exactly what they are looking for.

The subscribers are then matched with fellow subscribers who match their descriptions. Afterwards, it is up to the subscribers to pursue the connection with the other subscribers that they've been matched with.

This way of self advertising on an online dating service doesn't differ much from a personal, which basically operates on the same principle. These are the little pop-ups that appear on a lot of websites on the internet. It basically relays basic personal information, interests, quotes, a picture, and contact email of the person who has posted the personal. Any interested party can then contact that person.

The great thing about online dating services is that participants get to choose the persons they're going to communicate with. Plus, they get to read their profiles ahead of time, so they'd pretty much have an idea about what type of a person they are dealing with, before they make contact.

The downside to online dating services is that not everyone tells the truth on their profiles! Some married individuals have been known to lie about their marital status. This has been an ongoing problem that has plagued the online dating service world since the beginning of its inception.

But a lot of online dating services are now enforcing more stringent rules to crackdown on this problem. Some are even doing background checks to make sure aspiring subscribers don't have a criminal record. This adds to the safety of the members of the online dating community.

The availability of online dating services makes this an appealing option for anyone who is looking to meet new people. Now, with the popularity of online dating services, the interactions people can have are not only limited to their set of friends, acquaintances, and co-workers anymore.

It is so easy to partake in an online dating service. Anyone who has access to the internet can do so. Now, with just a simple click of a button any individual can be launched into the new and exciting world of online dating.

How to Survive in Lover’s Lane

2006-01-04T17:48:00.000+07:00

Online Dating Tips: How to Survive in Lover’s Lane

Unlike its early days, online dating is fast becoming the modern trend of dating and socialization.

In fact, the estimated revenue garnered by online dating services just for the first half of 2003 had reached a whopping $214.3 million, according to Forbes Magazine. Moreover, just for the month of August 2005, almost 40 million people are known to have engaged in online dating services. That is almost half of the total population of the American singles today.

With these facts, online dating is certainly not just the hottest thing available in the Internet today but is already a phenomenon. No wonder many people contend that an individual would have a better chance of getting someone to date through an online dating service than in a single’s bar, or in any place for that matter.

However, even if statistics can prove how viable online dating is nowadays, one problem remains the same. How to rise to the top of the other 40 million people and get that date.

Here are some tips for people who want to try online dating:

1. Get a good profile

When doing things online, it is the profile that can tell how good or bad a person is. Therefore, it’s best for people to come up with a good and honest write-up about themselves.

2. Good pictures count

A picture is worth a thousand words, so make a good first impression with one of your best photos.

3. Confidence

The reason why most people do not get a good response in online dating may be because they are not confident enough.

It’s best to speak up and stand proud. The bottom line is, if people like themselves, they will be liked by others.

4. Never rush into a relationship

Many people think that with online dating, they could easily fall in love. It’s best to remember that love has to grow so it should never be rushed. It takes time to know one another and it surely takes time to love someone.

5. Always maintain a level of anonymity.

It’s best not to divulge too much information at once. For the sake of security it would be best if you maintain a certain level of anonymity.

These tips do not guarantee 100% satisfaction but can be very helpful when needed.

Benefits of Online Dating

2006-01-04T17:46:00.000+07:00

The Pro’s of Online Dating

Dating these days is far different from years gone by. In the past people usually met at a party or were hooked up by friends, then in time the couple would come to know whether the friendship could go on to the next level or if it was never meant to be.

Meeting people online is similar to having friends doing all the work looking for that special someone. Recently, more people have had higher success rates in getting a date online than the conventional method.

Here are some interesting benefits to know about online dating;

1. Safety

By personally signing up with an online dating service, the person can meet many people without the risk of revealing one’s personal information. The only time that such details can be revealed will be done voluntarily by the searcher to the potential partner when a level of trust has been established.

2. Security

Dating online is supposed to help people who have difficulty meeting that special someone. Some people take advantage of that and prey on innocent people so most dating sites have made a system that allows one to report a user and have that person blocked for malicious conduct and prevent this from happening to other people.

3. Affordable

Dating people is costly especially since one goes out on more than one date. By getting to know many people online, one will be able to save a lot of money since the same information that one gathers online can be done just like going out on an actual date.

4. No more rejection and unwanted people

For men, dating online avoids the embarrassing experience of going up to meet a girl and getting rejected. By signing up on an online service and just chatting online, one can easily forget about this person and meet someone new.

For women, dating online helps avoid meeting the wrong person. It saves the person the time and effort of giving love to someone not as deserving as that potential partner.

5. Openness

Most people find it difficult being honest talking to a stranger because of the fear that they will not appreciate what is shown.

Since dating online provides a buffer by talking to someone via the computer and not face to face, another benefit is that one can be as open as one wants to be without fear of showing any sign of emotional attachment.

Online dating can be fun. Be it just to meet new friends or meet that potential partner.

Dating Tips For Women

2006-01-04T17:44:00.000+07:00

Women, Hear These Dating Tips

Since time immemorial, women have been embarking on that quest towards the elusive "Mr. Right". But how do you know if you are succeeding on the turf of dating or if you are risking your safety?

Here are tips to know if you are in danger
Listen to your heart.

If intuition tells you that you are not striking a string with a certain main, dump the guy, but be kind about it. Dating is not about jumping on every person that shows interest. Settling for something less than you want is not that good of an option either.

Trust yourself.

This goes with the gut feel advice. If the man seems too good to be true, chances are he really is. Don't be misled by saccharine promises. Learn to psychoanalyze a bit. Doing some background check surely won't hurt.

Keep your feet on the ground. Don't be swept off your feet by the excitement of the moment. Taking things slowly will keep you safe from being hurt if the guy is not really what you expected him to be.

Never give in to peer pressure. If your roommates know about your online dating escapade and advise you to single out somebody that you don't really like, don't be swayed by them. If they want that guy, they can have him. Dating is not supposed to be the decision of the group.

Being too desperate over a relationship will spoil the fun of single dating life. Don't go against that nagging but "healthy" advice of your instinct that you're overdoing your dealings with your boyfriend or it will be your loss.
For instance, if you keep trying to patch up a romance that is obviously fading, you will be the loser in the end. Sometimes it's best just to cut your losses and get on with your life. If you thought of him as the future father of your babies but he just wants a fling, get out of that relationship, fast!

If all the while you've been aiming for that long-term relationship, here are few fool-proof tips on how to spot who's NOT the man.

1. He's overly unreliable. Promises to call you but he won't.
2. He does not let you in his intimate circle of friends.
3. He never spouts anything about your future together
4. He rushes you into his bed.

Keep this in mind and you'll be well set off for the goodies of single dating. Go get him swooning over you!

Words of Advice on Dating Online

2005-12-30T20:17:00.000+07:00

Dating online has made the world a smaller place since that special someone is just a click away.

If one decides to try online dating, here are few tips to remember;

1.Take it slow

There are a lot of nice people online but there are also some bad people who just take advantage of others. To be sure whether the person one is corresponding with is for real or just playing games, it is best to look out for inconsistencies. If at any instance, there is a feeling of doubt or something wrong, then its best to stop and move on.

2.Don’t give out personal info

Since you don't have any idea who this person may be, it is best not to give out any personal information such as last name, real email address and contact numbers. If the person keeps on pressuring you about this, it is best to also stop making contact with that person.

3.Ask for a photo

Some people say it does not matter what is in the outside but what is inside the person. Physical appearance, believe it or not, matters. To authenticate the person one is talking with online, it is best to ask for a photo. For security reasons, it will be best to have more than one photo in various settings. If this person is not able to do this, then one should also stop making contact with this person.

4.Proceed with caution

Earning the trust of people does not happen overnight. By taking some time to know more about this person, you will be able to see if this relationship can go any further or if you'd be better off meeting someone else.

5.Meet only when ready

Even if a certain level of trust has been established, it is best to only decide to meet when one is ready. Just like meeting someone for the first time, one should take it slow.

6.Choose a public area

Before meeting this person, it is best to tell people like friends and family where you are going. In the interest of safety and security, it is also best to meet in a public place. If there are many people that are around, the safer it will be in case the date does not work out.

Meeting people online may be a little different from meeting someone new through friends. The similarities in both situations are; it takes time to know a person and there is nothing wrong in being careful - especially with matters of the heart.

How To Succeed In Online Dating

2005-12-30T20:13:00.000+07:00

How to prevent an online dating experience failure.

Want to know who has the most successful online dates? Well, these are people who know how to communicate, who maximize their dating potentials, who check the Internet and connect with others regularly.

But for many other members of online dating sites, it seems that getting a chance for a date is zilch. What most people post in their ads on the Internet actually hinder, rather than help them.

If you do the things below, then say goodbye to your potential mate.

1. Choose a lewd user name

Online dating sites generally put the user name that you have in your profile. So, if your user name is “nastybabe69” or “hungrywolfXXX,” then chances are, you won’t find a long-lasting mate. Unless, of course, you really want losers spamming you with emails.

2. No partner requirements

What you seek for a mate says a lot about you. If you are not stating your requirements you leave yourself wide open for all personality types, specifically undesirable ones.

3. No photo

Many online dating members have photos in their profiles. If you don’t have a photo in your personal profile, then your ad will be most likely discarded.

4. Don’t email or reply prospective mates

Many online dating sites enable you to send a message to a prospective mate. You can also get a message from someone who is interested in you. You could also send other expressions signifying interest like virtual kisses or smiles. Don’t write or reply to them. Someone might take interest in you. You don’t want that to to happen, do you?

5. Keep your ad bare

Keep your ad almost empty with no additional information about you that might interest people. Making a good, detailed ad might give you positive results.

6. Do not go to the website ever again

After you have put your online ad, never come back to the site. Do not even attempt to check the emails from the site announcing that it got several choices for you. Otherwise, you might be tempted to see that someone might be actually interested in knowing you better.

If you have all six of these guidelines, you will never have to worry about getting a successful online date.

How to Say I Love You

2005-12-29T17:26:00.000+07:00

by Vlady M

Remember the words from an old song...

"Be sure it's true when you say I love you, it's a sin to tell a lie".

The concept of "sin" has lost its meaning for most in our modern era, and even "love" has lost its importance.

If you still believe in "falling in love" then you will realize how difficult it is to say, "I love you" in a meaningful way. Three little words that could change your life forever. The words, themselves, have lost their meaning because of overuse especially when it's not really true. Everybody says them.

However, when you want tell your partner of your love it's such a hard decision to make for many reasons. Will your partner return your love? Will your partner simply accept your declaration with indifference? Will he or she feel threatened? It is such a common problem that even "The Seinfeld Show" had an episode on it.

So make it easy on yourself and plan the declaration so that as much as possible you eliminate the problems. The first step, of course, is to be certain you really are in love. If you so enjoy being with your partner that you want to be with him or her to the exclusion of all others, if you think of him or her every day when you are apart, you are probably in love. If you have even a small doubt you should wait a little longer.

If you are certain then plan a special occasion for it. Make it a significant moment in your life - one to remember with fondness for your whole life. Arrange an intimate dinner at your favorite restaurant and make it as romantic as you can. Give him or her a small gift because you love being with them, or you are so glad that you met them.

After dinner while holding your partner intimately gaze intently into their eyes and say, "I love you so much it hurts when we are apart. I hope that we can stay together forever".

Do not be disappointed if your partner does not return your declaration. They may not yet be ready and might need more time to state their feelings. Continue to share with your partner the highs and lows of your partner's life. Care for your partner's happiness and be on guard to protect his happiness.

Under no circumstances should you ever ask your partner, "Do you love me"?

Do You Know the Four Letter Word Everyone Longs to Hear?

2005-12-28T18:40:00.000+07:00

We live in an age wherein our daily utterances are often sprinkled with the choicest four letter words, yet we rarely use the four letter word everyone longs to hear - LOVE. And, strangely enough, although everybody is seeking the holy grail of happiness, today we find that people feel insecure more than ever before.

What is the reason for this? Happiness stems from being loved and wanted, one of the basic psychological needs in each of us that demands fulfillment. People are willing to go to any lengths to find love. Nations have gone to war, kings have abdicated their thrones, and star-crossed lovers have made suicide pacts - all for love.

On the other hand, murders are committed, people exhibit aggression, others withdraw into their shell, and some even take their own lives - all for a lack of love. The world's first murder was a result of Cain's envy, because he perceived that God loved his brother, Abel, more. Marilyn Monroe had the world at her feet, with fame and fortune, but overdosed because she did not have the one thing she yearned for more than anything else - to be loved and cherished.

The search for this "sweet mystery of life" even leads young men and women to sell their souls and bodies for what they crave. They know such love and attention will not endure, yet they let their hearts rule their minds, and their emotions conquer plain logic.

The word "love" may be only four letters long, but it is the most powerful word in the world, because it describes the awesome power residing in every human heart - emotion! But, it is a double-edged weapon. It can spur on an individual to do heroic deeds on one hand, as well as cause death and destruction on the other.

Love is, therefore, the engine that drives on people to accomplish the impossible. But this engine, like any other, requires a certain brand of fuel. Frequent refueling with the "I LOVE YOU" brand of high octane fuel will keep this engine purring lovingly. And, the love will be returned in equal measure, because those that are loved find it easy to give love back.

Being loved, and knowing that they are loved, makes people confident, relaxed and happy. Look around you. If you see anybody "floating" along with a secret smile on their face and a tune on their lips, you are looking at someone that is loved - and knows it!

Recently, a well-known psychologist was working with a teenage boy who was having serious problems. As they talked, the boy was asked as to whether his parents loved him. The teenager looked up sadly and said, "I don't know, but if they do, they've never told me!"

Please don't make the same mistake. To love without saying so is not enough. People need to be told that they are loved. Again, and again, and again! It is cruel and thoughtless to leave our loved ones in doubt about our affection for them. It's no use regretting later, when they are no more there to hear you.

If you have a friend worth loving,
Love him. Yes, and let him know
That you love him, ere life's evening
Tinge his brow with sunset glow.
Why should good words ne'er be said
Of a friend - till he is dead?
- Anonymous

Advice on Modern Romance - First Dates

2005-12-26T19:50:00.000+07:00

What should be the simple pleasure of getting to know another human being can sometimes buckle under the weight of unrealistic expectations and the baggage of previous relationships.

Here are some tips to consider when dating:

- No matter how wonderful your date is compared with the schmucks you've been seeing (or married to) do not tell him that he is a nice guy.

- A shared sense of humor is important. Try to bring laughter to the date. Try to get a laugh out of the guy. That way you know you've got something. If he doesn't get your jokes what else is he going to "get" about you?

- Be yourself.

People sometimes try too hard to impress. If they just relax a little, the date will go better and they will not have to worry about any of those little embellishments backfiring later on.

- The worst thing people do on first dates is lie. They are trying to improve their status so you will be interested in them.

- Do not give up.

But if things do not go well be prepared. Take your cell phone along on the date. A discreet call to a friend can help you engineer an early end to the date.

- If you are meeting someone you know only through a personal ad or an online dating service be sure to go to a place with plenty of other people around. And do not blab out your whole life story on the first date. Keep it general: music, books, movies.

- There is a difference between first dates and the first face-to-face contact with someone you connect with through a dating service or ad. That is a meeting to assess each other, not a date.

- If you are comfortable and seem to be compatible set up a date to spend more time together.

- Remember that the first date is supposed to be fun. You are getting to know this person and he is getting to know you. It should not be something that feels like a meeting with your boss.

- Look for something creative and make sure it allows you to interact. It will help if the activity relates to a shared interest, such as art or music.

- Doing something you enjoy takes the pressure off.

- Women sometimes crank up the pressure because of the hope that this guy is "the One". Slow down; it's just a date.

- Have realistic expectations about a first date. Some people start planning their wedding and others expect the worst.

- Have a specific plan. Do not leave things up to chance. Flexibility is nice but it reduces anxiety to know what to expect in terms of activity and how to dress.

- If the date goes well do not hang on until the wee hours of the morning. There will likely be a next time.

- If the date is a dud do not make any promises you will not keep. Do not be encouraging if you feel no interest in further socializing. Do be honest and say you feel there is not a basis for anything other than friendship and let your date take it from there.

Pick yourself up and move on. There are 110 million single adults in the United States alone.

- Give your date a chance. Take the time to listen and look for their special qualities.

The Number One mistake people make on first dates is to judge the other person too quickly and harshly. Always keep an open mind. There is so much to discover about a person.

Should You Online Date?

2005-12-22T17:35:00.000+07:00

Should you go online dating? Why not? That is the answer for many of you who are undecided and unsure of Internet dating. There are many reasons for doing so, and by being a member of online dating services, you are expanding your social circle and raising your hopes to find your perfect match.

Online dating services have grown by leaps and bounds over the years. Most singles have become members of such online dating sites, with high success rates.

Here are some reasons why online dating is perfectly right and safe for you.

It is fun!

In case you did not know or haven’t heard yet, online dating is the most prominent way of meeting attractive and fun people all over the world. It is safe, easy, and a fun way of meeting and connecting with many great people. Every month, millions of singles all over the world are available for instant communication, with hundreds of thousands signing up as new members.

There are many benefits of online dating.

The benefits of online dating are absolutely endless. For example, most dating services in the Internet have millions of members, mostly active ones that are just waiting to communication with somebody like you for friendship, lunch or dinner dates, and possibly even more. The odds of finding a special mate in these online dating services are very high since these singles intend to meet someone like you. Imagine the millions of potential mates in online dating sites!

The icing on the cake is that most online dating sites offer easy access to a wide variety of people, with their photos, audio and video clips available in an instant. It’s like meeting somebody new at the click of a mouse button right in your own home.

Internet Dating is Easy.

Online dating sites have hundreds of millions of members. So, for example, if you don’t want somebody because his or her profile doesn’t match yours or it doesn’t interest you, you can easily move on to another profile. Most, if not all, online dating sites also have features that enable you to state what you look for in a partner...you're likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. Submit them to the online dating site where you are a member, then just wait for emails coming from the online dating services informing you of their latest possible matches for you! It’s that easy! You don’t have to go to the site every day just to check who’s "right" for you.

If somebody piques your interest, you can send them an instant message or an email. And hopefully, they will do the same. From there, you can take the contact to the next level. It is that fast and easy!

Okay, you say, online dating gives you more pros than cons. But, how do you choose from the various online sites out there? Here are some factors that you should consider.

1. Do some budgeting.

Determine how much of your money do you want to be used for online dating. Do a budget. Some internet sites require you to pay one-time fees, while some ask for monthly membership fees.

2. Seek recommendations.

You could ask friends or colleagues who have become acquainted with some online dating sites for their tips in looking for a good dating site. They can give additional information not available from Internet dating sites.

3. Check available sites.

Check the Internet for possible information for dating websites. Try to see what sites are the most popular or least visited.

4. Consider specialized sites.

There are also specialized dating sites available. Some are for seniors, some for homosexuals and some are for different religious affiliations among others.

5. Weigh the cons and pros.

From the online sites that you have checked, select only the top three and compare their advantages and disadvantages with the rest. Factors to be considered are the site’s success rate, number of members, features and fees, among others things.

Dating has never been this much fun. Whether it is for friendship or a long-term romantic relationship (even marriage), online dating sites can be very useful and fun.