Words of Advice on Dating Online

Dating online has made the world a smaller place since that special someone is just a click away.

If one decides to try online dating, here are few tips to remember;

1.Take it slow

There are a lot of nice people online but there are also some bad people who just take advantage of others. To be sure whether the person one is corresponding with is for real or just playing games, it is best to look out for inconsistencies. If at any instance, there is a feeling of doubt or something wrong, then its best to stop and move on.

2.Don’t give out personal info

Since you don't have any idea who this person may be, it is best not to give out any personal information such as last name, real email address and contact numbers. If the person keeps on pressuring you about this, it is best to also stop making contact with that person.

3.Ask for a photo

Some people say it does not matter what is in the outside but what is inside the person. Physical appearance, believe it or not, matters. To authenticate the person one is talking with online, it is best to ask for a photo. For security reasons, it will be best to have more than one photo in various settings. If this person is not able to do this, then one should also stop making contact with this person.

4.Proceed with caution

Earning the trust of people does not happen overnight. By taking some time to know more about this person, you will be able to see if this relationship can go any further or if you'd be better off meeting someone else.

5.Meet only when ready

Even if a certain level of trust has been established, it is best to only decide to meet when one is ready. Just like meeting someone for the first time, one should take it slow.

6.Choose a public area

Before meeting this person, it is best to tell people like friends and family where you are going. In the interest of safety and security, it is also best to meet in a public place. If there are many people that are around, the safer it will be in case the date does not work out.

Meeting people online may be a little different from meeting someone new through friends. The similarities in both situations are; it takes time to know a person and there is nothing wrong in being careful - especially with matters of the heart.

How To Succeed In Online Dating

How to prevent an online dating experience failure.

Want to know who has the most successful online dates? Well, these are people who know how to communicate, who maximize their dating potentials, who check the Internet and connect with others regularly.

But for many other members of online dating sites, it seems that getting a chance for a date is zilch. What most people post in their ads on the Internet actually hinder, rather than help them.

If you do the things below, then say goodbye to your potential mate.

1. Choose a lewd user name

Online dating sites generally put the user name that you have in your profile. So, if your user name is “nastybabe69” or “hungrywolfXXX,” then chances are, you won’t find a long-lasting mate. Unless, of course, you really want losers spamming you with emails.

2. No partner requirements

What you seek for a mate says a lot about you. If you are not stating your requirements you leave yourself wide open for all personality types, specifically undesirable ones.

3. No photo

Many online dating members have photos in their profiles. If you don’t have a photo in your personal profile, then your ad will be most likely discarded.

4. Don’t email or reply prospective mates

Many online dating sites enable you to send a message to a prospective mate. You can also get a message from someone who is interested in you. You could also send other expressions signifying interest like virtual kisses or smiles. Don’t write or reply to them. Someone might take interest in you. You don’t want that to to happen, do you?

5. Keep your ad bare

Keep your ad almost empty with no additional information about you that might interest people. Making a good, detailed ad might give you positive results.

6. Do not go to the website ever again

After you have put your online ad, never come back to the site. Do not even attempt to check the emails from the site announcing that it got several choices for you. Otherwise, you might be tempted to see that someone might be actually interested in knowing you better.

If you have all six of these guidelines, you will never have to worry about getting a successful online date.

How to Say I Love You

by Vlady M

Remember the words from an old song...

"Be sure it's true when you say I love you, it's a sin to tell a lie".

The concept of "sin" has lost its meaning for most in our modern era, and even "love" has lost its importance.

If you still believe in "falling in love" then you will realize how difficult it is to say, "I love you" in a meaningful way. Three little words that could change your life forever. The words, themselves, have lost their meaning because of overuse especially when it's not really true. Everybody says them.

However, when you want tell your partner of your love it's such a hard decision to make for many reasons. Will your partner return your love? Will your partner simply accept your declaration with indifference? Will he or she feel threatened? It is such a common problem that even "The Seinfeld Show" had an episode on it.

So make it easy on yourself and plan the declaration so that as much as possible you eliminate the problems. The first step, of course, is to be certain you really are in love. If you so enjoy being with your partner that you want to be with him or her to the exclusion of all others, if you think of him or her every day when you are apart, you are probably in love. If you have even a small doubt you should wait a little longer.

If you are certain then plan a special occasion for it. Make it a significant moment in your life - one to remember with fondness for your whole life. Arrange an intimate dinner at your favorite restaurant and make it as romantic as you can. Give him or her a small gift because you love being with them, or you are so glad that you met them.

After dinner while holding your partner intimately gaze intently into their eyes and say, "I love you so much it hurts when we are apart. I hope that we can stay together forever".

Do not be disappointed if your partner does not return your declaration. They may not yet be ready and might need more time to state their feelings. Continue to share with your partner the highs and lows of your partner's life. Care for your partner's happiness and be on guard to protect his happiness.

Under no circumstances should you ever ask your partner, "Do you love me"?

Do You Know the Four Letter Word Everyone Longs to Hear?

We live in an age wherein our daily utterances are often sprinkled with the choicest four letter words, yet we rarely use the four letter word everyone longs to hear - LOVE. And, strangely enough, although everybody is seeking the holy grail of happiness, today we find that people feel insecure more than ever before.

What is the reason for this? Happiness stems from being loved and wanted, one of the basic psychological needs in each of us that demands fulfillment. People are willing to go to any lengths to find love. Nations have gone to war, kings have abdicated their thrones, and star-crossed lovers have made suicide pacts - all for love.

On the other hand, murders are committed, people exhibit aggression, others withdraw into their shell, and some even take their own lives - all for a lack of love. The world's first murder was a result of Cain's envy, because he perceived that God loved his brother, Abel, more. Marilyn Monroe had the world at her feet, with fame and fortune, but overdosed because she did not have the one thing she yearned for more than anything else - to be loved and cherished.

The search for this "sweet mystery of life" even leads young men and women to sell their souls and bodies for what they crave. They know such love and attention will not endure, yet they let their hearts rule their minds, and their emotions conquer plain logic.

The word "love" may be only four letters long, but it is the most powerful word in the world, because it describes the awesome power residing in every human heart - emotion! But, it is a double-edged weapon. It can spur on an individual to do heroic deeds on one hand, as well as cause death and destruction on the other.

Love is, therefore, the engine that drives on people to accomplish the impossible. But this engine, like any other, requires a certain brand of fuel. Frequent refueling with the "I LOVE YOU" brand of high octane fuel will keep this engine purring lovingly. And, the love will be returned in equal measure, because those that are loved find it easy to give love back.

Being loved, and knowing that they are loved, makes people confident, relaxed and happy. Look around you. If you see anybody "floating" along with a secret smile on their face and a tune on their lips, you are looking at someone that is loved - and knows it!

Recently, a well-known psychologist was working with a teenage boy who was having serious problems. As they talked, the boy was asked as to whether his parents loved him. The teenager looked up sadly and said, "I don't know, but if they do, they've never told me!"

Please don't make the same mistake. To love without saying so is not enough. People need to be told that they are loved. Again, and again, and again! It is cruel and thoughtless to leave our loved ones in doubt about our affection for them. It's no use regretting later, when they are no more there to hear you.

If you have a friend worth loving,
Love him. Yes, and let him know
That you love him, ere life's evening
Tinge his brow with sunset glow.
Why should good words ne'er be said
Of a friend - till he is dead?
- Anonymous

Advice on Modern Romance - First Dates

What should be the simple pleasure of getting to know another human being can sometimes buckle under the weight of unrealistic expectations and the baggage of previous relationships.

Here are some tips to consider when dating:

- No matter how wonderful your date is compared with the schmucks you've been seeing (or married to) do not tell him that he is a nice guy.

- A shared sense of humor is important. Try to bring laughter to the date. Try to get a laugh out of the guy. That way you know you've got something. If he doesn't get your jokes what else is he going to "get" about you?

- Be yourself.

People sometimes try too hard to impress. If they just relax a little, the date will go better and they will not have to worry about any of those little embellishments backfiring later on.

- The worst thing people do on first dates is lie. They are trying to improve their status so you will be interested in them.

- Do not give up.

But if things do not go well be prepared. Take your cell phone along on the date. A discreet call to a friend can help you engineer an early end to the date.

- If you are meeting someone you know only through a personal ad or an online dating service be sure to go to a place with plenty of other people around. And do not blab out your whole life story on the first date. Keep it general: music, books, movies.

- There is a difference between first dates and the first face-to-face contact with someone you connect with through a dating service or ad. That is a meeting to assess each other, not a date.

- If you are comfortable and seem to be compatible set up a date to spend more time together.

- Remember that the first date is supposed to be fun. You are getting to know this person and he is getting to know you. It should not be something that feels like a meeting with your boss.

- Look for something creative and make sure it allows you to interact. It will help if the activity relates to a shared interest, such as art or music.

- Doing something you enjoy takes the pressure off.

- Women sometimes crank up the pressure because of the hope that this guy is "the One". Slow down; it's just a date.

- Have realistic expectations about a first date. Some people start planning their wedding and others expect the worst.

- Have a specific plan. Do not leave things up to chance. Flexibility is nice but it reduces anxiety to know what to expect in terms of activity and how to dress.

- If the date goes well do not hang on until the wee hours of the morning. There will likely be a next time.

- If the date is a dud do not make any promises you will not keep. Do not be encouraging if you feel no interest in further socializing. Do be honest and say you feel there is not a basis for anything other than friendship and let your date take it from there.

Pick yourself up and move on. There are 110 million single adults in the United States alone.

- Give your date a chance. Take the time to listen and look for their special qualities.

The Number One mistake people make on first dates is to judge the other person too quickly and harshly. Always keep an open mind. There is so much to discover about a person.

Should You Online Date?

Should you go online dating? Why not? That is the answer for many of you who are undecided and unsure of Internet dating. There are many reasons for doing so, and by being a member of online dating services, you are expanding your social circle and raising your hopes to find your perfect match.

Online dating services have grown by leaps and bounds over the years. Most singles have become members of such online dating sites, with high success rates.

Here are some reasons why online dating is perfectly right and safe for you.

It is fun!

In case you did not know or haven’t heard yet, online dating is the most prominent way of meeting attractive and fun people all over the world. It is safe, easy, and a fun way of meeting and connecting with many great people. Every month, millions of singles all over the world are available for instant communication, with hundreds of thousands signing up as new members.

There are many benefits of online dating.

The benefits of online dating are absolutely endless. For example, most dating services in the Internet have millions of members, mostly active ones that are just waiting to communication with somebody like you for friendship, lunch or dinner dates, and possibly even more. The odds of finding a special mate in these online dating services are very high since these singles intend to meet someone like you. Imagine the millions of potential mates in online dating sites!

The icing on the cake is that most online dating sites offer easy access to a wide variety of people, with their photos, audio and video clips available in an instant. It’s like meeting somebody new at the click of a mouse button right in your own home.

Internet Dating is Easy.

Online dating sites have hundreds of millions of members. So, for example, if you don’t want somebody because his or her profile doesn’t match yours or it doesn’t interest you, you can easily move on to another profile. Most, if not all, online dating sites also have features that enable you to state what you look for in a partner...you're likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. Submit them to the online dating site where you are a member, then just wait for emails coming from the online dating services informing you of their latest possible matches for you! It’s that easy! You don’t have to go to the site every day just to check who’s "right" for you.

If somebody piques your interest, you can send them an instant message or an email. And hopefully, they will do the same. From there, you can take the contact to the next level. It is that fast and easy!

Okay, you say, online dating gives you more pros than cons. But, how do you choose from the various online sites out there? Here are some factors that you should consider.

1. Do some budgeting.

Determine how much of your money do you want to be used for online dating. Do a budget. Some internet sites require you to pay one-time fees, while some ask for monthly membership fees.

2. Seek recommendations.

You could ask friends or colleagues who have become acquainted with some online dating sites for their tips in looking for a good dating site. They can give additional information not available from Internet dating sites.

3. Check available sites.

Check the Internet for possible information for dating websites. Try to see what sites are the most popular or least visited.

4. Consider specialized sites.

There are also specialized dating sites available. Some are for seniors, some for homosexuals and some are for different religious affiliations among others.

5. Weigh the cons and pros.

From the online sites that you have checked, select only the top three and compare their advantages and disadvantages with the rest. Factors to be considered are the site’s success rate, number of members, features and fees, among others things.

Dating has never been this much fun. Whether it is for friendship or a long-term romantic relationship (even marriage), online dating sites can be very useful and fun.

I Said Pass the Cheese, Not Cut the Cheese

You know you can’t eat certain foods the day of a date. If you don't know that, read on. You don’t wanna be a rootin’ tootin’ mamma whilst you’re trying to impress Mr. Wonderful. You better carefully plan your menu or you’ll end up blowing heat.

If you know ahead of time that you have an engagement scheduled that evening, you better starting eating a bland diet for the day; else that lasagna will kick in about the time of that awkward silence between you. You don’t want your date asking if you heard a duck.

Sometimes you need to plan two days in advance. If you eat garlic or onions, do you honestly think your pores will be void of such stench 24 hours later? Probably not; don’t kid yourself.

It’s bad enough you have to eat blah food the day of or even the day prior to a date, but you also better watch what you eat on a date. If you wolf down that enchilada too fast, you’ll be jet propelled about the time he’s holding you close on the dance floor. Then he’ll be forced to let you know that your voice has changed, but not your breath!

Then if you go out for ice cream, beware, your sensitive little tummy could be a touch lactose intolerant. How are you going to explain that odiferous aroma when there are only two of you sitting there and he knows he didn’t do it?

If he’s more inclined to be a little spontaneous and call you an hour before to announce that he’d like to take a drive out to the lake, you better hope you didn’t just polish off a batch of broccoli and clam chowder!

And here’s an age old debate, if you feel the flatulence stirring down below, can you really choke it back until another time? Some say yes you can. Perhaps what actually happens when you squeeze your bucket cheeks together and silently chant “no no no no not now!” is that you produce a SPD, but you still smell like a babe who just pooped his nappy.

One known philosophy is that you’re not serious with a guy until you cut the cheese around each other. You gotta get past that first one and handle it without turning three shades of purple. Once you cross that hurdle then you’re getting serious. Heck, by the time you’re married, you’re assigning point values to the Scud Missile or high fiving each other while proclaiming “Good One!” Somewhere you will have transitioned to LBP – Loud but Proud!

One dater swore it was genetic. She shared, "My dad tells the story of asking my mother, 'Did you fluff?' After she turned morbidly red, she uttered, 'I don’t think so, but one might have slipped out!'" Similarly, she continued, while on a date, early on in their relationship, her brother and now-sister-in-law were riding in car (quite a predicament if you’re having gastro troubles) and he asked her, “Did you fart?” Her response: “Why?” Why, ah ha, I love it! Why? He told her, “Cuz it smells like crap in here, open a window!”

Then there are the grandparents who just keep walking in the midst of letting a buster and just hope that everyone thought the floor board was loose!

Perhaps you're still trying to find a happy medium to get past the first date when someone launches an air biscuit. Will you comment or ignore? Maybe if it’s a big whopper and peels paint off the walls you’ll have a hard time ignoring it. The next time your butt burps on a date you better hope you're in open air!

Good luck and may the force be with you!

Listen Up Men – What Women Like and What They Don’t!

Men, if you think you’ve got what it takes to turn the heads of the ladies, you may be mistaken! Likewise, fellas, you may indeed have what women want! A survey was taken of a group of women, ages 29-50 and listed below are some of their likes and dislikes when it comes to the male species!

POSITIVE FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
When asked the question “What is the first thing you notice when you see or meet a man?” some of the responses included:

Probably his eyes - "the windows to the soul"; then his butt, for sure!

I like bigger guys. But I also notice white shirts and if a guy is clean cut.

Visually, his height/build (I like 'em big) Personality-wise, intelligence and sense of humor rank high with me.

I always notice the eyes and overall cleanliness first. He doesn't have to be in a three piece suit but just clean, not stinky or wearing holey clothes. A great smile doesn't hurt either :)

Left ring finger, teeth and smell and in that order. If I see a man is married, I rarely give him a second glance. If he’s single I look at his mouth to see if he has straight teeth (I had braces at 40 years old, so I guess I expect straight teeth from grown men) and finally his scent. I absolutely adore the smell of cologne on a man.

Well the first things I usually notice are his eyes and sense of humor. Then if he was someone I was dating, I observe how he treats his mother.

OK don't laugh, but I guess I noticed teeth because I was a dental assistant when I met my husband. Oh ya, I also tried to check out his "package" but it was very hard to tell if anything was there!

His smile and physique.

Conversely, there are some things about a man that are an instant turn off to the gals.

NEGATIVE FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
Long hair, bad breath, body odor, "wimpy" or fem appearance.

Generally any kind of unkempt appearance.

No little tiny ones, short in height that is, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass by those gents who are vertically challenged.

Fuzzy sweater teeth and scuffed up, unpolished shoes.
Dirty hands, dirty nails.

I hate dirty ears. If the guy has earwax, I will notice immediately and it makes me gag! I would never be able to date someone who doesn't clean his ears regularly.

Long fingernails and dirty/too long/unkempt hair.

Looking at my body instead of my face. Use of vulgar or profane language. Intoxication or drug usage. Evidence of poor personal care habits.

So there you go, men. The women have spoken. Basically if you smile and don’t stink, you have an ‘in’. Conversely, if your personal hygiene leaves much to be desired, you can forget it. Now go wash your hands, get a hair cut, use a q-tip, brush your teeth and smile pretty for the babes!



Article by : Laurie Ayers

Online Dating - Six Ways to Protect Your Privacy in Cyberspace

Online dating is becoming more and more mainstream, as people from all walks of life plug in and find their soul mate in cyberspace. Here are six tips to finding that special someone while still maintaining your privacy and safety online.

1. Avoid large, public chat rooms where anything can (and does!) take place. Some people frequent these areas just to see what they can get away with. Instead, focus on smaller, more targeted web sites or chat rooms that match your interests or lifestyle. There are many online dating sites that cater to specific hobbies and several offer free trial memberships.

2. When you find a chat room, dating site, or forum that matches your interest, introduce yourself with only as much information as you feel comfortable giving. Don’t plaster your phone number, address or any other personal information on the site. Wait until you meet someone with whom you truly “click” and have spoken to them for awhile. Common sense and that “gut feeling” are great indicators for when something just doesn’t seem quite right.

3. Participate in the forum or chat room regularly. Keep it “low-key” until you start forming friendships with the regular members there. Be honest, and be yourself - after all, being natural is what will endear you to a particular mate.

4. Keep your correspondence limited to e-mail and chat until you get to know the person well enough to feel comfortable sharing your phone number and talking for the first time. If you need a good ice-breaker, start off the chat by talking about the forum or chat room where you met and any special interests that brought you two together.

5. If you decide to meet each other in person, choose a neutral, public place. You may even choose a town or city that’s not the same as the one where you live. Restaurants, parks, theaters and other public places where people gather often are a good place to start. Alternately, you could choose to attend a special event in your area together, perhaps a concert, festival or fair. Either way, let friends or family know where you’re going and who you’re going with, as well as what time you’ll be returning so they’ll know how and where to reach you.

6. If you’re interested in a few online “matches” that come your way, consider setting up a post office box and a free e-mail account to share information with each other. That way, if you come to find that you really don’t “click” with this person, you won’t feel as if you’ve given any personal contact information away.

If you follow these six tips, chances are you’ll have a great time with your cyber date. Remember to be honest and be yourself! If you do, chances are that you’ll find that perfect special someone who enjoys you for who you are!


Article by Sherice Jacob

Why Love Means Saying You're Sorry...

We don't like to say it and we don't always mean it, but despite the oft-quoted promise from the movie, love DOES mean saying you're sorry. Unfortunately the idea seems to have hung around long since the movie was put back on the shelf.

Is it a statement about society in general that we question the need to apologize even in our closest relationships? If saying sorry exposes us to confrontation or scrutiny, shouldn't we be willing to accept that from our loved ones?

If people feel that saying sorry diminishes the respect they receive from others, or brings their judgment (and their intelligence) into question - what kind of people CAN apologize freely? Can we expect it?

Perhaps the answer lies deeper than a person's perception of how they'll be viewed. What are the reasons for apologies?

Dr. Aaron Lazare gives his opinion on the motives for apologies in the article 'Go Ahead, Say Your Sorry' published by Psychology Today. He suggests the two positive reasons we apologize include the desire to restore or salvage a relationship and/or a deep seated empathy in which your apology may relieve or diminish the pain you've caused.

The less admirable reasons for an apology he identifies include the desire to escape punishment or the need to clear a guilty conscience - whether the other party was offended or not.

Clearly the first two reasons for apologizing make great claims towards creating happy, healthy relationships. Whether we are brought up to believe in admitting our guilt or not, taking a humble view of ourselves in order to benefit a relationship or an individual whom we've hurt is crucial in maintaining respect for one another.

While some individuals may not demand apologies from their partners, perhaps because they also believe it should not be required, there is a loss of respect between the couple when an apology is left unsaid. The offended has not had their pain acknowledged by the one they love. The offender now lives with the guilt or may start to believe their partner is not worthy of such acknowledgement.

In either case, the relationship suffers. On the other hand, frequent offenders may be too eager to apologize. Their constant display of humility forces the offended partner to accept behavior that should be questioned or challenged regardless of the appearance of repentance.

Accepting each other, faults and all, is a big part of a loving and enjoyable relationship. Not keeping tally of mistakes or judging weaknesses has its place, but a willingness to apologize for lapses of responsibility or good judgment will strengthen, rather than weaken, the bonds of a healthy relationship.

The ABC's of Online Dating

Looking to spice up your life a little or add some romance...or maybe find that perfect love connection?

Cool! Jump right in...the online dating waters are just fine and you will have lots of company. There are over THREE MILLION others already splashing around when you do decide to take the plunge!!

If you're new, or relatively new to the online dating scene, this article should get you headed down the right path. Follow the tips and recommendation presented here and your initial experiences will be more enjoyable, and yield better results.

Do a search of "online dating" and you will be presented with more than 2.9 MILLION web pages from which to make your selection! Hmm... a bit overwhelming to say the least. But don't let the huge numbers discourage you. Try the dating preparation and selection methods described, and you will easily find your perfect dating site match.

So your first order of business is to get yourself matched up with one or more online dating sites that fit you and your needs. The questions below should help you narrow things down.


What Type Dating Site?

Plain Vanilla - no ethnic, religious, or cultural themes. Asian, Black/Ebony/African American, Italian, Jewish, Senior Citizen, the list goes on...

Do some searching using the terms below as a guide.

"online dating" + senior
"online dating" + Christian
"online dating" + African American
"online dating" + Asian

"online dating" +

Get the idea? A search on each of the examples above will pretty much yield what you would expect.

If you're on a tight budget, just add the word "free".

"online dating" + free
"online dating" + senior + free ...etc.

You will need to look a little harder to find high quality free dating sites or personal services. REALLY FREE dating sites with lots of members, lots of activity, and lots of member services are pretty hard to come by. You'll understand better after you do a few searches for free dating websites.

A search for dating reviews and forums can also be helpful.

"online dating" + review OR reviews
"online dating" + forum OR forums

With the dating related forums, you can read about good and bad experiences others have had with particular dating and personals web sites.

Dating services reviews will give you some good info as well. Look for genuine, unbiased reviews. Many of the dating review sites out there are willy-nilly listings someone threw together to earn commissions.

Another way to find good dating sites is by asking friends and co-workers who may have tried, or are using online dating or personals services. You may be surprised to find out how many of your single friends are members of a personals site.


How Much?

Monthly fees vary widely, but the average is around $24. Most dating and singles sites will give you a discount if you pay for two or months in advance.

I would suggest you only buy into a one month membership with any new dating service you join. If you decide you like it simply extend your membership. If you don't like the service, you cut your losses at one month, and avoid the hassles of requesting a refund, or canceling billing.

Tight Budget Dating Tip: Most free dating sites have low activity, and member activity is what makes personals and dating sites tick.

Solution: Join 3, 4 or more free dating sites. If you find that their combined activity serves your needs... you're good to go. If not, you'll have gained a good familiarity with online dating, and a better understanding of what you want, when and if you decide to plunk down some bucks for a paid membership.


Telling Your Pool-Side Story

Now write your story (aka: member profile). No great detail; just write like you're writing to the man or woman you seek. Write a little about you, stating one or more of your unique qualities. Write a little about the person you're seeking.

You'll save some time if you write and save all your profile data to a text editor or word processor file. Then, you can COPY and PASTE it to the proper areas of your online dating profile.

As things change, and as you grow, you will want to update and modify your profile statements.


A Picture IS Worth a Thousand Words

You will generally get 3 to 10 time better response with a posted photo than without. People don't generally spend much time on profiles with no photos... so take the hint.

If you don't own a digital camera, web cam, or scanner, take a few photos and a diskette to your local Office Depot, Staples, or general office supply store. They should be able to scan and copy your photos to your diskette. Then you can easily add one or more to your dating site profile. You could also ask friends and relatives who own a digital camera or scanner.

Digital cameras are very inexpensive these days. Check eBay for some of the best deals.


Stay Focused and On-Track

You may want to start a journal, (on paper, or in a text file), to log your "love search" progress. Make notes of URL links of sites you like (you should also bookmark these sites), restrictions, any new member specials, member benefits and services, monthly fees, etc.

When I first started, I also wrote out a statement describing what I wanted to accomplish by joining a dating site. You may want to do the same. These statements and a well-kept journal will help keep you focused and organized. Organized endeavors always yield greater results than haphazard approaches.


Safe-Date Policies

This is actually part of the title of an upcoming article, but I mention it here to stress the use of common-sense, safety, and caution when dealing with ANY dating situation - on or offline.

Now... jump in your skivvies and take the dive!

Men Want a Classy Woman

Ladies, this one is for you. Your mother always told you “Don’t give away the farm.” Yet men have been saying, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” It’s a paradox; women think they need to put out, or they’ll lose their man. Men don’t want a woman who puts out; at least not long term they don’t. Are you the type of woman who men take home to bed; or the type who men take home to meet Mom?

One man described it this way, “When I’m talking to a woman, either on-line, on the phone, or in person, who do you think is the first person to bring up sex? Almost always it’s the woman. I don’t. I can tell almost instantly if the woman is classy or cheap. I want a woman who is confident, not insecure and thinks she needs to attract me by offering up free sex. What healthy, heterosexual man doesn’t want or enjoy sex with a woman? But I don’t want someone that everyone else has enjoyed. A classy woman is intriguing, mysterious and alluring. Her appearance and the way she carries herself can be very appealing. There’s a huge difference between sexy and sleazy; and unfortunately many woman don’t know the difference.”

Ladies wise up! If you don’t understand why you keep attracting the wrong men, it’s because your standards are too low. Set the bar higher. Do not engage in innuendos or blatant conversation that is sexual in nature. Just don’t do it. You may think you are flirting; but what you are doing is sending a signal to the man that you’re easy. You may hook him for a time. You may both be filled with infatuation, but it won’t last. Men will look at you as the good time gal; not as a keeper.

What are you wearing? Low rise jeans and tummy shirts are in. They’re not in if you don’t have the body to wear that style of clothing and they’re not in if you’re trying to convince the men that you’re a classy lady. That is not to say you need to haul out the turtle neck sweaters and long skirts which cover up your ankles.

You will not be able to change your belief system overnight; your views on what men want. But what you can change almost instantly is how you dress and how you talk. Decide today that you will not openly discuss sex or make comments of a sexual nature with men. There are ways you can let someone know you’re interested without sounding like a hootchie mamma. And lastly, take inventory of your wardrobe. Leave a little to the imagination, don’t show it all.

Men want a classy woman.

Friends with Benefits - Can it work?

Is there ever such a thing as “No Strings Attached?” Can a friendship between two people withstand casual sex? Or is that just an idealistic concept?

One night stands aren’t as in as they used to be. Now lovers are coupling up for more long term sex. It’s called “Friends with Benefits”. They get all the benefits of a relationship without the commitment. They start out as friends. They enjoy each other’s company and then one night start sleeping together.

They don’t date. It’s not a traditional “significant other” type relationship. In many cases, the other friends don’t even know about their sex on the side. It’s set up as a mutual gratification, friends helping friends arrangement.

What most Friends with Benefits fail to do is set up the rules. It generally starts out as either happenstance or perhaps a small dialog exchange, “I don’t have anyone, you don’t either, so let’s do it, no strings attached. What do you think?” It all sounds well in good; at least initially when both are hornier than a unicorn. But can friends who sleep together remain friends once it ends? Or is the start of mutual sex the start of the end of their friendship?

Sex creates a bond, no matter how discussed up front it is. Someone always gets hurt in the end of a no strings attached, Friends with Benefits arrangement. Booty Calls always start out with mutual orgasms as the sole purpose. Yet when two people share that kind of closeness, and if it's a recurring buddy booty call, then they spend time together. Someone is doing something very intimate with and to the other. Who isn’t always appreciative of a good orgasm?

One or both may know that they don't want a commitment and that's why the No Strings Attached agreement was conceived. But when the “ooh baby, ya that feels so good, I love what you do to me” occurs regularly, how can they NOT start to feel something for the other? One person will inevitably feel a stronger emotional bond than the other; it's not male/female bias. One will still only love the physical benefits and the other will enjoy the great sex so much that they get attached, even though they weren't looking for any relationship.

Or perhaps one person may have always been secretly attracted to the friend and knew the other didn't want a relationship, yet figured a Friends with Benefits arrangement was better than nothing. Hence they verbally agreed to the arrangement but emotionally they were already hooked.

Develop some rules before entering into any such arrangement. Consider these suggestions: No going out with each other unless it’s in a group situation or you know the night will end in sex, therefore the outing is part of foreplay, no public affection, no gifts and any other boundaries you want to instill. Before it starts, decide how it will end. If starting out as friends, the goal is to end as friends. If new love interests were previously discussed among friends, shouldn’t those types of conversations still be allowed?

Use your head to consider wisely what may be lost if you enter into a Friends with Benefits arrangement.

Hook Up With The Love Connection

Looking to spice up your life a little, add some romance find that love connection? Well, caution: fees can be sky high. For example, AARP Magazine reported that a company called Gentlepeople charges from $15,000 to $50,000 to hook up you up with the right person. And FOX News reported that professional matchmakers across the country are charging up to $15,000 to pair people up. Instead of paying so much money, try starting here and see how you do with some of these tips.

ONLINE DATING – Seek out a reputable online dating service. Begin by asking friends, co-workers and other you may know who have tried online dating, and see which places they recommend. Also, head to your favorite search engine and type in “online dating services” to see which ones come up. Start a journal or notebook and log your progress. Write out the URLs or website links and do some research: list fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of the site and any other useful information that you run across. Then begin slow. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts and STOP.

COMMUNICATION – Go slow and don’t try to share every tidbit of information about yourself over night. Keep away from subjects that you don’t agree upon. When communicating via email and other electronic means (chat rooms, forums, etc.) don’t use all upper case letters (that’s called “shouting”), slang or your personal address for safety. Do use a firewall and anti-virus software to keep your computer safe, too. Key in “online safety tips” and check out online lists for updated safety tips once a month to make sure you’re up to date.

- Free Firewall Download: ZoneAlarm www.zonelabs.com
- Free Anti-Virus Download: AVG Anti-Virus www.grisoft.com
(sorry, no affiliations)

FRIENDSHIP – As your friendship grows, check to see if you are not only getting along pretty well together, but also handling conflicts well together. If you miss a chat time, for instance, is that it? Are you in the doghouse for a week? And gradually decide if you should meet in person. If so, make sure it’s a safe place out in public and that you are both legal adults.

LOVE GOALS – Gradually develop goals together so you’ll have a sense of direction. Write them down in a notebook just for the two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross them off your list. The idea is to HAVE goals together and work towards a common good.

So before you fork out thousands of dollars looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, reach out and try to help yourself first. Go slow and steady, and use caution. Once you find your own love connection, you could set up your own matchmaker website!

Build a Romance Bridge

Ever run into a brick wall, so to speak, with your mate? Can’t seem to pass “Go” without collecting 200 fresh wounds? Well, it’s time to build a bridge and tear down that brick wall. Here are your tools:

1. ATTITUDE – Get an attitude adjustment first. Lighten up and do a 180-degree about face. Read the Sunday comics, grab an old comic book, turn on the Comedy channel, watch funny videos or DVDs. Get in a better mood and pass it along to your mate. Invite your mate to tune in to comedy with you, too.

2. FRIENDSHIP – Go back to being friends for starters now that you’re in a good mood. Forget the love stuff, if you want. And just focus on being good friends; share compliments, do things for one another, go out and have fun together, enjoy one another’s company.

3. RELAX – Let your hair down. Trust and relax. Be yourself. Don’t let old wounds open or fester. Forget the garbage memories and just be in the here and now together.

4. TIME OUT – If possible, spend extra time together for awhile, like during your original courting days. Hire a sitter, order out, eat at fast food places, grab ice cream cones and go for walks in the park. Get to know each other all over again. That’s the key. Then you’ll remember why you fell for each other in the beginning and history will hopefully repeat itself.

5. COMMUNICATION – Take it slow and easy. Keep away from subjects that you don’t agree upon. And slowly re-learn to communicate with each other all over again. If necessary, and it’s not a crime or shame – get help. Seek a trusted friend or adviser, a church clergy member or certified professional counselor. No need to go it alone. Find your weak areas and how to over come them and plan for future communication difficulties.

6. GOALS – Gradually develop goals together so you’ll have a direction to head. Write them down in a notebook just for the two of you. And over time, develop them, revise them, cross them off your list. The idea is to HAVE goals together and work towards a common goal.

7. SCRAP BOOK – Create a memory album together. Add photos, clippings, menus and anything that reminds you of the “good times.” Then when tough times comes, you’ll have something to “hold on to” – your bridge to romance.

So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship.